Should you forgive and forget? Three Essential and Practical Principles For a Butterflying Life

     Not long ago, I had the pleasure to rekindle a friendship with a long lost acquaintance. After the glass was broken, the conversation immediately veered towards the bolt of our disconnection from each other. The subject of forgiveness  was incontrovertibly addressed. We stomped on the question of how to forgive and forget? As memories unrestlessly bring back forth the feeling of pain, betrayal and idiosyncrasy of our own being, the sensation or assurance of forgiveness are quickly dissipated. Thence, I came up with a well formulated theory which at times, extirpate my pats on my back.

1. Forgiveness is progressive: It takes times. The decision to forgive must instant, but forgiveness itself is gradual. It's positive function of time. If I had to express it mathematical term, it would be: f(forgiveness)= pt +C(forgiveness)t where p = person (you as a person); t = time; C=Christ. The reason I introduce Christ is that, one can't really talk of forgiveness without going to the source. Same goes for Love, Joy, Hope, Happiness...all these necessary ingredients that make a tasteful and flavorful life.
2. You can forgive but you can't forget: Even God does not allow us to forget our own sins, how are we supposed to do the same for others? Aren't we supposed to love our neighbor like ourselves? Not only that, the bible instructs to be simple like a dove but prudent like a snake. Affording the luxury to forget wrongdoings only condemns us to either repeat them or get ourselves ensnared once again into the same vicious circle.
3. Still can't forgive? Think about this: the wrongdoer, by some miraculous means, repents and makes peace with God...maybe not with you, but certainly with God and God being God forgives him/her. Then Jesus decides to come back, takes the wrongdoer with Him and leaves you behind. Now my question is this: Why would you take the risk to jeopardize your salvation for some stupid act that a senseless person has committed against you?

     It's capital that we forgive. Unforgivingness does not hold a death sentence over the wrongdoer's head but does hold it over our own and force God to condemn us. Forgiveness, on the other hand, is the only digital fingerprint that the key of our liberation will recognize to unlock the door of our own captivity. Forgiveness is not a feeling, it's an act that starts with a decision. As Dr. Mike Murdock says, " Forgiveness ...Does Not Restore Trust. #Forgiveness...Is an Invitation To Rebuild Credibility. Therefore, don't sweat over it if the wrongdoer can no longer occupy the place that he or she once had. Just do your part, forgive and forgive verily then move on with your life.

Hair Journey: Just like Samson

     I often liken myself to Samson when I think about my hair journey. He was unmistakably very muscular with the most beautiful mane on his head and on top of his game when his heart interest, the apple of his eyes, decided to strike a deal with her peeps to subdue him. I'm/have been in no way as muscular as Samson. But my hair had been long, longer than the average length that my people usually carry until I decided to compromise it.
     Just like Samson, I delivered myself into the hands of my enemies by setting myself up to failure, thinking I'll be fine. Just like Samson, I happened to entrust the best of me to the worst around me.
How many of you know you're never fine when you do the exact opposite of what you know is right?
There are always precursive signs leading to the ultimate downfall. In this hair scenario, it was the use of abusive substance commonly called "creamy crack", followed by bad maintenance. How can one expect to maintain healthy hair when the washing, conditioning happens once a month? How can one expect to maintain long hair when the scalp is under constant stress from tight braiding and other forms of hairdo?
     The consequences of a betrayal, like the one Samson was victim of, can often lead into a state of hair and sight loss. In fact, the sight loss is just the permanent scar, the physical constant reminder of your ordeal whereas the hair loss is the direct effect of the acts of Judah.
     However, as time goes by, the strength that had left you, the hair you had lost, unbeknownst to you, starts growing back. And one day, you notice that the perfect TWA you were rocking now stands imperfectly on your head. The quick washes&gos are no longer that quick. Until you realize that something has changed, you can easily do a different style.

     Hence I was pleasantly surprised to see the length of my hair exactly 3 months after my second big chop. Just like Samson, the favor of the Lord has returned. He is looking again at me, you with mercy. Although we all know what was Samson fate, my own is still unfolding. And I'm feverishly anticipating the ultimate result.

Happy And Joyful New Year --2011

I just wanted to drop a note here for my readers to wish you a fantastic happy new year!!.
I'm back and totally unjetlagged and I'm looking forward to share with you lots of stuffs throughout this new year. Big challenges ahead aside the ones already mentioned in previous posts.
Again Happy Joyful Fantastic New year
...And stay tuned!!

Yours faithfully,

Tresor De Beaute

2011 Project 3 Revealed

     Hello Friends and Non-friends,
     This is going to be the last post for year 2010. It has been a wonderful awesome year on my end. God's willing, I will take some time in 2011, to look back and reflect with you into my 2010 journey. Increase and growth at all levels, physically: I went from a size 2 to size 4 (to my mom's delight) and in my own terms I went from bony to fleshy; financially: personal GDP of 2%, not a lot (we can blame that on the recession), and spiritually: it was an exponential growth, if I had to write a mathematical function it'd be: f(x) = e^x where x is a real number.
     Well I'm here to reveal to you project #3: TDB is going to rehab, she's voluntarily committing herself to detox against...Soap Operas for 3 weeks!!...That's all she can guarantee for now. How is she planning on accomplishing this? First, by going on vacation to a much warmer place, definitely warmer than the sunshine state. I'll take this opportunity to request prayer for protection and a safe trip [Thank you.]
Of course there's much more to this trip than rehab. God's willing, I'll share tidbits of it with you but not until I'm back. On this note, I wish you all a wonderful, merriful Merry Christmas [the time of the year where we act the way we should the rest of the year~lifeline production], and don't leave out the reason of this season out of your season.

Merry Xmas and see you next year

Stay Tuned, Stay Beautiful, Stay Christmas-y.
Tresor De Beaute (TDB).

Was It Too Late? A True Story of A Dying Man

 It was about 7:45 am and I was getting ready for work when my phone rang: "Allo?"
"Remember Ruben, my roommate? He's dead" blurted the voice on the phone. "Yes I remember him, what happened?".
I had visited this family in 3 different occasions, and have met Ruben during one of those. He was this big chubby and very private person. Aside the time, we got introduced, the only other time I heard Ruben make some noise was one morning during prayer time and Ruben knocked on our wall to make us understand that we were loud.
The day before he passed away, Ruben seemed a little more agitated than usual. He asked for Mr Price and was told that Mr Price had traveled for work and ministry and wouldn't be back until the new year. So he asked for Attorney Lawrence who also works in ministry but on that day was attending a church event. Meanwhile, Ruben was getting more restless, looking at his watch and inquiring about Att.Lawrence whereabouts, wondering when he'd be back, pacing around the house. At one point in time, Zelly noticing his restlessness, inquired about his wellbeing, to which he replied he was fine and that people were coming to pick him up and he needed to speak with Att. Lawrence. He then went on asking about Jesus to Zelly: "How do you know Jesus is the answer? How do you get saved?" She explained to him "Jesus died on the cross for us, you just have to believe and ask him to forgive your sins." Then once again he asked for Att. Lawrence. Several phone calls and sms could not get him back at home until very late at night.
The following day, as Att Lawrence, was wondering about Ruben's request to speak with him, he went into his bedroom, only to discover him bent on his knees, head on the floor, dead.
Was he praying when those "people came to get him"? Did he receive the Only one who can guarantee Peace? Did he accept Jesus in his heart as Lord and Savior? It is impossible to know for sure.

     This will certainly sound like a "whole bunch of garbage" for some and for others just another reason, to despise Christianity or roll their eyes given that Christians nowadays are nothing but examples of backstabbing, jealousy, adulterous closeted gays and lesbians and more. Nevertheless, each one of us is still responsible for our own salvation. Buying a bad cantaloupe from a grocery store doesn't mean that all cantaloupes on the market are bad. To associate with Christians who make bad choices doesn't invalidate the existence of the real good ones that are still out there nor does it invalidate the existence of the Real Good God who longs for a personal relationship with each one of us, wants to share his treasures with us, and above all wants us to live a quality life beyond what we can imagine. The choice is left with us.

Stay Tuned, Stay Beautiful, Choose Well
Tresor De Beaute

Whatever people think of you will never change your destiny. However what you think of other people may change it.-- R.W.

2011 Project 2 Revealed

     TDB's next project could be quite a challenge if there's a lack of interest, determination and discipline: Read the Bible in ONE YEAR, the entire bible not just snippets of familiar stories we've heard in church. What makes this project more exciting is the fact that I'll be reading the bible for the first time in English. For the life of me, I still do not comprehend how I've managed to rob myself from that experience. Now, don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying that for the ten years I've been in this country I've not read my bible, I'm saying I've not read it in its entirety in English, whereas I've read it in French about 12 times cover to cover, and the New Testament several times both in French and English.

     
     So why is it important to read and know the bible? Isn't it the Pastor's job to read it and preach it to us?

1.  Be an intellectually curious Christian. Read the bible just because! Be curious about it. Don't let some preacher masticate it for you to swallow and this brings me to the next point.
2. Take responsibility for your own salvation. Your pastor, priest, or Christian friend is NOT responsible for it, you are. Become familiar with the stories and parables. Examine it every time you're in church or when listening to predications to see if what the preacher says it's true. So many of us Christians are just plain gullible, believing all kinds of things. Let's start acting like the Berean who would examine the Scripture everyday to see if what Paul said was true*. This is Paul we're talking about, the guy whose simple touch would heal, his words could make go blind or walk again if you were crippled. Some today would've called him a charlatan. The Berean weren't impressed. They cared about the TRUTH. So they checked the Scripture everyday.
3. Be loaded with answers. Put yourself in a position where you can answer any question about your beliefs. What is salvation? How do you know heaven or hell are real?
4. If possible, enroll a family member, a friend or a close one. Be cheer leader for each other, encouraging one another.
5. Why should we read the bible at all? [it's funny as I'm writing this very sentence, Barbara Walters's Special Edition is on and she's asking our President Barack Obama if he reads the bible to which he responds "Yes, everyday.".So this could be your motivation.] This is the answer a grand-father gave to his grand child as he was putting charcoal in a basket. He asked the child to carry the basket down to the river and to bring him back some water in it. After several attempts, the kid feeling discouraged  wanted to stop. At his grandfather nodding, he looked at the basket and noticed something different about it. It was CLEAN. It has gone from dirty to clean. And the grandfather said: "my son, it's the same thing that happens when you read the bible,... your soul changes."

 
     I hope this gives you enough incentives to embark in this journey with me. As stated earlier this project, it requires discipline, and who says discipline, says schedule, who says schedule says calendar. Here is a remarkable online resource that dissects the entire bible into portions scheduled on each day of the year. It gives the choice to read it beginning to end, chronologically, historically, new then old, or old then new. It lists all the different versions and main languages. Last but not least it gives you the choices to start either on the 1st or the 15th of a month. Personally, I anticipate starting on the 15th of January 2011, using the New/Old method. I used to read it beginning to end but after a while about half way into the OT, I would feel "hungry" for the NT.

     How to do this practically? Some do's and don'ts 

• Schedule it on your calendar. I use Google Calendar and I've set it to send me reminders to my cell phone. If you decide to choose the old/new or new/old method, you can schedule the new in the morning and the old in the middle of the day.
• If you have a smartphone, download a version of the bible on it. During your downtime.
• Don't, no let me rephrase that, NEVER schedule your bible reading before bed time.
• Don't beat yourself up if you skip a day, just take it as a challenge to be more disciplined.
• Don't use it as a fetish. I remember someone once told me that they would always travel with a bible in their bags for protection. The person did not read, did not care about its instructions, let alone honor the God it talks about.

 As the first 2011 project targets the body, this one targets the soul. What's left is the spirit. So stay tuned as there is more to come.

*Acts 17:11

Stay Tuned, Stay Beautiful, Stay an Intellectually Curious Christian
Tresor De Beaute

http://twitter.com/TresorDeBeaute

Whatever people think of you will never change your destiny. However what you think of other people will change it.-- R.W.

2011 Project 1 Revealed

     For those of you who haven't guessed it yet from the new profile/background pictures, TDB is going Naptural. Yes you read it right NAPTURAL as in Nappy Natural :). She has decided to become a  "Nazarite" of some sort. Let me explain, back in the days, and I mean waaayy back in the days, the hebrews/jews had this tradition of dedicating themselves to God, it was called the Nazirite vow: The vow was taken by individuals who had voluntarily dedicated themselves to God. The vow is a decision, action, and desire on the part of people whose desire is to yield themselves to God completely [http://www.gotquestions.org/Nazirite-vow.html].
     The individuals had to abstain from a certain number of things during their consecration period. As for me, all I have to abstain from is the "creamy crack"/perm. However this resolution to go back natural is more than forgoing "crack" altogether, it's a physical manifestation of my inner metamorphosis. It's a rebirth, a return to "the things I did at first"*. I started perming my hair about ten years ago, a few months before I immigrated in this country. And with each crack session, my hair started growing thin, breaking and finally got damaged, nothing but a simple reflection of what was happening in the inside. So many bad things happen inside of us all, bad thoughts, bad desires, impatience, one compromise after another, envy, jealousy...etc. We live by them, we sleep by them and some even die by them. It's time to STOP and to "Consider how far you have fallen! Repent (change the inner man to meet God's will) and do the things you did at first [do the works you did previously when first you knew the Lord]"*. NO more excuses, NO more apologies, no more postponing. Three Simple steps:

• I did the Big Chop (BC), I removed all the processed and damaged hair [I got rid of all the toxic things and people of my entourage].
• I shampoo and condition my hair once a week and the rest of the time I just moisturize it. [I go to church once a week and the rest of the time I study, read and listen]
• I bought products to help me achieve my goal of new long healthy hair. [I surround myself with people who share the same beliefs as I do, who help me fulfill my Nazirite vow. I stay vigilant of who to admit in my inner circle as it is not everyone around you who have your best interest at heart]

And the results so far are just...life changing. Check for yourself:

For more: click on the link below (I believe you have to be logged into facebook to see them all):
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=31750982&l=3d26331e22&id=1435775079


Don't forget to follow me on twitter for more thoughts, for more musings:
http://twitter.com/TresorDeBeaute


*Rev 2:5 amplified version

 Stay Tuned, Stay Beautiful, Stay Naptural
Tresor de Beaute (TDB)

Whatever people think of you will never change your destiny. However what you think of other people will change it.-- R.W.