Why are Divorces Always so Ugly?

Why are Divorces always so ugly? I mean, after all, these are two people who at one point in time professed their [(un)dying] love for one another, but here there are at each other throat. Could it be because one of the concerned parties can't get passed whatever "irreconcilable differences" there may be? Or could it be the desire for payback? Depending of what's driving a couple to divorce, there's always a loser in the whole ordeal, whether it's a loss of money, self-worthiness, or standards, you name it, there's always a loser. Personally, I do not believe in divorce (especially when kids are involved), however there are deal breakers that no matter what end of the stick you're holding, the relationship not only does not stand a chance, but isn't even worth trying to savage. If that's case, meaning, if from the get go a relationship is unsavageable, shouldn't the protagonists involved find a way to "work things out" in the goal of an "amicable" dissolution? I realize this could be difficult to achieve especially if one is trying to take advantage of the other.
Stats show that the divorce rate here in the U.S is about 50% and the number one reason of divorce here in the U.S is infidelity followed by finances. If there's one chance over two for a marriage to end up in dissolution, would we be better off getting married assuming, accepting, tolerating that our partner can cheat at any time but still decide to stay? I was discussing it with one of my dearest friends and the answer was that, may be we should. And I added, well it that's the case, why don't we ensure that our partner always carry on them a condom? At least that way, when it happens he or she, thus we are protected from any potential STDs. I guess we all agreed that was pushing it a little too far.

We're in this love together

To you my brother that I love so much.
To you my sister that is so special to me.
To you my friend, where would I be without you?
And to you, the one and only one who completes me...
We're in this love together
We got the kind that lasts forever

I've been listening to

These are the new stuffs in the block, from my most favorite to the least, enjoy!! Very sexy song, ideal for strip tease session w/ your significant other:



A new beauty, with a voice similar to J-Hud, the next big thing, I bet!!

Fantaisies ...

She makes out with a Caucasian guy
She has a tattoo around her belly button
She's dating a tattooed guy
A very rich tattooed guy
She's riding in a convertible, meet a bunch of stupid guys and lifts her top up
She has a monthly appointment with her shrink
A bi-annual appointment with her dentist
She has a pair of Manolo Blahnik
And a designer bag
She's a Cover Girl

A Night in Town

The good thing about starting over, is that it gives you this urge to try new things, to get out of your comfort zone to "confront the world", so to speak. So in the spirit of "starting over", I've decided to become adventurous (to some extend). First it started w/ shopping. I went to Macy's and bought a $60.00 dress (sorry folks I know we're in a recession, however I could afford it and I mean I didn't put it on my credit card!!), then I went on to Nine West and I got myself a $100.00 purse!! (this shocks me!! I NEVER did this before!! Not that I never spent 100 bucks but not on a purse!!) followed by a $50.00 pair of pumps (gorgeous!!). And that was it for that day!! Then the other night, a friend and I went to dinner, along w/ two other people in an "upscale" restaurant. [Ok, little confession here, I didn't spend a dime!! (Good, right?)]. A Three-course meal, delicious lobster with crusty calamaris, scrumptious crab cakes on a bed of corn, gumbo soup w/ crackers and these were just appetizers!! Main course a mahi mahi made a la Shang Hai with sticky rice and tasty spinach!! hum hum, heaven on earth!! Desert, a delicate sumptuous cup of chocolate cake wet w/ some triple churned vanilla ice cream!! And that was my adventure. Life was indeed good, very good. Sometimes it's just good to start over, really start over and try new stuffs!!

Do you have TRUE FRIENDS?

I've been busy lately preparing myself to get into a new adventure of my own. Nevertheless, in between breaks, I afford the luxury at reading through articles and this particular one on friendship actually struck me, especially given the fact that my friend Prince Hamilton had already one of his own on the same subject.
I guess it all boils down to the quality of relationships we have. From a personal experience, a relationship becomes a lasting one if and only if both parties involved are getting any value out of it. I have a friend who has a friend for everything: one to go to shopping with, one to go party with, one to mourn and celebrate with, and one to ask advice from. (Now that I'm thinking about it, I wonder what category I fit in). The article I mention above, presents a new theory called "voluntary loneliness", according to which people choose to be lonely. The author gives an example of a neighbor who belongs to that category. And this is a different subject that I will not treat in this piece.
One thing that I thought was missing is the fact that true friendships are nurtured, nourished and balanced. It comes with loyalty and trust. It's not so much about the number of people that surrounds you, but about the quality of the relationship that ties you to each of those people. So, the question is, do you have true friends?

My death clock: a reminder

Every once in a while I consult my death clock. It's like the little witch in the village that nobody likes but still keeps around just in case her predictions are right. It's a virtual tool based on some random research (truthfully, I don't even know if any research were done behind that clock) that predicts when you'll die, try it for yourself.
Sometimes it's important to remind ourselves what's important and not take tomorrow for granted. To take a step backward and contemplate, appreciate the goodness of this life. As I often hear, we only have 'One Life to live'. And more often than not, the challenge is to live a life worth living. I suppose each one of us has their own definition of a worthy life. For some it's through their jobs that they find value or give value (e.g. Doctors, Counselors, Caregivers, Pastors, Teachers etc..). And frankly as a Software Engineer who spent most of her time in front of a monitor, I find it somehow difficult to find value in it. I have no doubt I must be giving value to some third party cause I get paid for it. I'm sure there is much more to life.
There is a story in the bible about this guy who goes to some far away land and gives money to three of his servants. To the first, he hands 5 bucks (back in the days, it was a ton of money), the second 2 and the third 1. Each of them went ahead and utilize it in a very productive way but the third one buried his buck. The guy comes back from his trip and has a briefing with each one of his servants. The first two came boasting about what they did and how they earned more money, then comes the 3rd one and he says "I was afraid of you master, so I buried the money you gave me, here it is take it", needless to say the master was fulminant and fired his servant. A lot of us are like that third servant. We're afraid of life, its challenges and sometimes its rewards. We either give up, or stay so much focus on the moment with no long term perspective or we just waste our time checking out the servant with 5 bucks and lusting after what he has.
Some of us have 5 million bucks in bank, others have 5 bucks, some of us are good at one thing only while others have multiple talents. However, it's not about how much we have, it's about what we do with what we have. Regardless of the longevity of our lives, let's make them quality lives. And this is where comes the death clock. Were you to know when you'll say goodbye to this earth, what kind of life would you live?