Happy Endings

I couldn't concentrate at work, having had little to no sleep the nights before and I needed something to cheer me up. I opened up the NYTimes and found this rather misleading title: "Happy Endings" and after a quick read, here was I, sinking even further down than I already was.
I started reviewing my life and I came to the conclusion that I have lived the best life I could have possibly lived given my circumstances and that I was ready to pass away. I mean I've known sadness at its deepest level, I've been through hell and back, I've known joy and great happiness. I've made my parents proud, very proud. I've taken care of my family, I've done charity work, I've preached the gospel, so somewhere somehow I must have impacted someone's life in a positive way. I've watched all kinds of movies: trashy, dramatic, thriller, comedy, suspense, horror, silent, I've even watched porn (lol, Lord forgive me if I have sinned against you.). I've fallen in love, then gotten up, fallen out of love. I've given shelter to people who didn't deserve it. I've accepted and been accepted, I've rejected and been rejected. I've tithed, still do. My life has taken some type of existence. There's nothing new under the sun
Yesterday someone expressed their undying love for me. While all I wanted to do was to express my undying impatience with a homework I couldn't seem to complete. At the end, life has no meaning so does my mom tell me. We must take life as simple as it comes. Easy said than done. Yes, life has no meaning in itself, but mine has taken some type of existence and now I'm ready, ready to go, ready to leave.

Who's BAD?

I've been wanting to post an article about my recent trip overseas but procrastination got hold of me. However, today is a special day, a very sad day filled with deep sorrow. The King of Pop is no longer with us. Many of us born in the 80's already knew him before even knowing how to read or count. I'll leave out to the pundits to tell us about his life, success, fame and glory, and to each of one us the lessons to draw from this sudden death.
He was many things to many people. Below is embedded, in my opinion, one of the funniest video clip about the great MJ interpreted by the great Eddie Griffin.





A big thank you to P.O. for sharing this with me almost a year ago

My death clock: a reminder

Every once in a while I consult my death clock. It's like the little witch in the village that nobody likes but still keeps around just in case her predictions are right. It's a virtual tool based on some random research (truthfully, I don't even know if any research were done behind that clock) that predicts when you'll die, try it for yourself.
Sometimes it's important to remind ourselves what's important and not take tomorrow for granted. To take a step backward and contemplate, appreciate the goodness of this life. As I often hear, we only have 'One Life to live'. And more often than not, the challenge is to live a life worth living. I suppose each one of us has their own definition of a worthy life. For some it's through their jobs that they find value or give value (e.g. Doctors, Counselors, Caregivers, Pastors, Teachers etc..). And frankly as a Software Engineer who spent most of her time in front of a monitor, I find it somehow difficult to find value in it. I have no doubt I must be giving value to some third party cause I get paid for it. I'm sure there is much more to life.
There is a story in the bible about this guy who goes to some far away land and gives money to three of his servants. To the first, he hands 5 bucks (back in the days, it was a ton of money), the second 2 and the third 1. Each of them went ahead and utilize it in a very productive way but the third one buried his buck. The guy comes back from his trip and has a briefing with each one of his servants. The first two came boasting about what they did and how they earned more money, then comes the 3rd one and he says "I was afraid of you master, so I buried the money you gave me, here it is take it", needless to say the master was fulminant and fired his servant. A lot of us are like that third servant. We're afraid of life, its challenges and sometimes its rewards. We either give up, or stay so much focus on the moment with no long term perspective or we just waste our time checking out the servant with 5 bucks and lusting after what he has.
Some of us have 5 million bucks in bank, others have 5 bucks, some of us are good at one thing only while others have multiple talents. However, it's not about how much we have, it's about what we do with what we have. Regardless of the longevity of our lives, let's make them quality lives. And this is where comes the death clock. Were you to know when you'll say goodbye to this earth, what kind of life would you live?