Raised in a culture of suspicions, witchcraft and rumors of witchcraft, Cameroonians, and most Africans, are skeptical of any good thing that comes their way, or that happens to others. These suspicions have crippled them from their ability to fully rejoice or proclaim the bountiness in their lives or the lives of others.
Call a fellow Cameroonian [African] today and ask them how they're doing. Undubitably you'll get a variation one of the following answers: - "ha, a de massa"...a broken english form to say "here I am"...
- "na you see how?"...an insinuous way to say "look at me, how do you think I'm doing?"
- "we're pushing"...to say "it's hard but we're trying to move fwd"
Things get worse when dealing with things like pregnancies, trips or else. In Cameroon, when you're pregnant, you never shout it over the top of a roof, any roof, even yours. I got reminded of that when last year, one of my sisters got pregnant with her first child and it was only a few months from birth that I got awared of it. Indignant over being "left out of the loop", I called my mom just to hear her say that "you know here we don't talk about this kind of things, people just notice [the change when the belly comes out]. It's because you're far away that she even told you".
In Cameroon and most African countries, after high school, you may have either an opportunity to travel abroad for your college studies or get into a reputable local school. The former is more prestigious, as it's not everyone who can afford to travel or even get a visa. I remember
twelve years ago, a bunch of us from my high school promotion had the opportunity to go abroad. Some to Germany, France, The Netherlands or the US. It was on the day of our departure (or the eve at best) that we informed our friends of our plans. It didn't matter if we were best friends, close friends or mere friends. When it came to unveil our grand travelling ambition, every soul became a potential hindrance to our initiative. we couldn't afford to leave any end loosed. Your BFF could be or become your BEF (Best Enemy Forever) or else.
This true story happened a long time ago in Cameroon. A girl, that I'll call Mina, was making the rounds to say goodbye to her friends as she was about to depart the next day to Europe. When she got to Gayle's her best friend, (they had grown up together, went to school together, studied together, celebrated each other birthdays), Gayle became very sad . They cried, lamented and promised each other never to forget about the other. Gayle then suggested they shared a last meal. She went out and bought some bread with chocolate cream inside, broke in half and gave the other piece to her departing friend. They ate, laughed together wished each other good things. Later in the evening, Mina started complaining about stomaches, a few hours later she was dead. it was discovered that she had rat poison in her system. Further investifation led to Gayle who confessed that she didn't want to stay behind alone for her best friend was leaving her.
Just a couple of months ago, my godmother came from Cameroon to visit the US for the very first time. As her return got close, she packed half her luggages with gifts for people from her church, her work place and other acquaintances. To some she brought shoes, to others purses, or
cologne or clothes. To her bewilderment, the very same people who received gifts from her, spewed in her back "who does she think she is...going to USA for vacation and coming back?"..."She has it all, doesn't she? plulizzz..."
I supposed my immersement in the American culture has made me lose sight of what my African inheritage has bequeathed upon me. Blessings are not supposed to be discussed out loud. When something good happens, it must be kept a secret in fear that a malevolent soul would jeopardize it. One can't truly celebrate their life in the fear that some evil soul will spoil that for them. They're forced to develop a false sense of humility because them fear people may misinterpret them as showing off.
As I pondered on this topic, Shouting The Blessings of The Lord, I poured myself in the Psalms of David and got struck by his approach. He didn't hold back in proclaiming high and loud what the Lord had done for Him and through him. Repeatedly I encountered:
[Ps9:1-2] 1 I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart;
I will tell of all your wonderful deeds.
2 I will be glad and rejoice in you;
I will sing the praises of your name, O Most High.
Then he goes on describing exactly how the Lord has blessed and delivered him.
David as a warrior, did have many enemies but it didn't keep him from shouting, dancing, praising, proclaiming, cheering what the great deeds of the God of Israel!
The other day as I was cruising FB, i came across the page of a church member and was surprised to see written on the wall from different people "Congratulations! You'll make great parents!". I was puzzled and wondered when they got pregnant and gave birth. Came to find out the bun was still in the oven and the lady wasn't even showing yet!
Africans can learn from their fellow Americans. Our attitude has done us more harm than good. It has robbed us from recognizing a blessing when it shows up at our door, incapacitated us to express gratitude, cheated us from more bounty, made God a recipient of our indifference,
thanklessness, rudeness and ungratefulness. And being a Christian has not made us less victims of this viciousness.
Therefore, I decided to break the mold and follow David's footsteps. Stay tuned for part II.
Tresorly Yours,
TDB
-- My Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/TresorDeBeaute
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Resolution 2012: Get Rid of Foolishness
For this first post of 2012, I thought of doing a year in review but what the heck, who needs another year in review or me blabbing about my spectacular accomplishments? Instead, I elected to share a significant experience which I hope will be of help to some.
She's my second mom. Eleven years ago, I immigrated in this country. I had come to go to school which I completed with a Bachelor of Science in Computer Science. This achievement would not have taken place, has it not been for her and her family. A little background: Our families had been in each other lives for some years since back home in Cameroon. We lived in the same city, same neighborhood, same street.
So when my parents decided to send me overseas, they were the rightful choice. From day one, she was on me and with me. I needed to change school, there we were going up down between my new school and immigration. I needed to buy a car, my very first car, there we were at the city auction, she picked my first car: 600.00 it cost, good'ol days. I needed a new SSN, there we were between school and the SSN office. I needed a place where I could braid hair to make some money, she landed me her living room. First day of school, there she was, first ride to school. Now, all this for FREE. A side note: Americans like a the word "FREE" although nothing is ever free. But in my case, it truly was. A roof over my head: free, a meal at noon and a meal in the evening: free. Although, later on while staying with her and family, I had learned that there had been some discontentment from the beginning about my presence, this went for about 18 months til the time to part our ways came. And what did I do? I left her a goodbye, good luck note. The kind that says, thanks for everything although at times you were a biyotch. You get the picture. Foolish me took everything for granted. I had this presumptuous idea that nobody can't change or alter the perfect plans that God had/has for me. Even though I still believe it to be true, it is also of the utmost importance to acknowledge and honor those that God has put on your path for success. My mentor, Dr Mike Murdock always says, if you fail in your life it will be because of someone you chose to dishonor. If you succeed in your life, it will be because of someone you chose to honor. Needless to say this first act of dishonor and foolishness did not wait to birth its fruits some years later down the road.
Year 2003: One of my good friend immigrates here in the U.S. I helped her with the school paperwork, pretty much with everything that I mentioned above. I'm of those who believe that you should spread your blessings around. I welcomed her with the same amenities for a year, free food, free roof ...etc. It took her four years to finally show her true colors. What followed is a gruesome story that will be featured in a different post. It was nothing short of a perfect transcript straight from a soap opera. Needless to say, we're no longer on speaking terms since 2008 and I doubt we'll ever be.
So back to year 2011, as I was reaching some milestones, I realized it was important to learn from the past. Most people in general, think they've learned from their mistakes but in actually take no step to prevent themselves to repeat them. And there are actions that unquestionably bring about curse on us or put us in danger of the fire of hell*, and one of them is dishonor. Jesus Himself tells us that "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift" . Whenever you see a statement that starts with "Therefore", you must find out why is there for (Bill Johnson). So before he gets to the "Therefore", He says "And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell."
So many of us Christians constantly live in the danger of the fire of hell without even knowing it, or knowing and choosing to believe that grace "covers" it all. Although The Master has clearly established ways how to escape it. Moreover, Jesus was teaching this to his disciples not unbelievers! (May he who has ears, let him hear!). In the light of that awakening, I took my courage to call my second mom, whom I had been estranged for about nine years, and ask for her forgiveness, which she gracefully granted me. I took upon myself to honor her anyhow I can for I strongly believe that Honor qualifies you to enter any future God has designed for you (Dr Mike Murdock).
*[Matt5:22-23]
Tresorly Yours,
Tresor De Beaute
Friday, October 14, 2011
A Balanced Life: Good Food, Good Friends, Good Sex
I went for my annual the other day and was surprised to see that I've gained 6 pounds since last year during my last visit. I still wear the same size of clothes and my diet has not changed much. This got me to think: what is that I've done differently? What changed? What were the factors?
Looking back, I can easily connect the dots and answers these questions with no ambiguity. I got to see my whole family this year: dad, mom, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, nephews, in-laws...everybody. One of the best occasions allowed me to gather with friends that I hadn't seen in over a decade.
As for the food, like I mentioned earlier, my regimen has not changed much if at all. I don't drink, unless it's red wine much less than a full glass and during a special circumstance; i don't smoke, nor do drugs. However, one of the best foods I've been eating, it really surpasses my broiled fresh tilapia, is the Word of God. I've started this year with the challenge of reading the Bible in its entirety. So far, I've read the New Testament 3 times, still going through the OT, I'm re-reading the books of Solomon before attacking the prophets. One phenomenon I noticed is that, I just want more of God in my life, every aspect of it. For instance, not too long ago I had been struggling with unforgiveness, but every time I read the Gospels, I'm just confounded by Christ's love for us and I tell myself if He's been able to forgive me (and I had done worse to him), I sure can forgive my foes.
Another instance, in the buying of a first house a specific criteria was an upper room that would be dedicated to prayer and/or spiritual retreat. This permanent consciousness of God constantly guides my path and the choices I make.
Last but not least, sex!! Good Christians also have good sex. This is such a fascinating experience of all earthly beings that even the "sons of God"* wanted to partake in it. The French Current versions refers to those "sons of God" as "the inhabitants of heavens." There is nothing more depressing or stressing than being married and not having sex. So, here it's how it goes. If you're married and love the Lord Jesus, you must have good sex. That's all.
Tresorly Yours,
Tresor de Beaute
*[Genesis6: 2,4]
Looking back, I can easily connect the dots and answers these questions with no ambiguity. I got to see my whole family this year: dad, mom, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, nephews, in-laws...everybody. One of the best occasions allowed me to gather with friends that I hadn't seen in over a decade.
As for the food, like I mentioned earlier, my regimen has not changed much if at all. I don't drink, unless it's red wine much less than a full glass and during a special circumstance; i don't smoke, nor do drugs. However, one of the best foods I've been eating, it really surpasses my broiled fresh tilapia, is the Word of God. I've started this year with the challenge of reading the Bible in its entirety. So far, I've read the New Testament 3 times, still going through the OT, I'm re-reading the books of Solomon before attacking the prophets. One phenomenon I noticed is that, I just want more of God in my life, every aspect of it. For instance, not too long ago I had been struggling with unforgiveness, but every time I read the Gospels, I'm just confounded by Christ's love for us and I tell myself if He's been able to forgive me (and I had done worse to him), I sure can forgive my foes.
Another instance, in the buying of a first house a specific criteria was an upper room that would be dedicated to prayer and/or spiritual retreat. This permanent consciousness of God constantly guides my path and the choices I make.
Last but not least, sex!! Good Christians also have good sex. This is such a fascinating experience of all earthly beings that even the "sons of God"* wanted to partake in it. The French Current versions refers to those "sons of God" as "the inhabitants of heavens." There is nothing more depressing or stressing than being married and not having sex. So, here it's how it goes. If you're married and love the Lord Jesus, you must have good sex. That's all.
Tresorly Yours,
Tresor de Beaute
*[Genesis6: 2,4]
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
It's Just Sex,...Everybody does that -- Rationalizing Our Sexual Behaviors
I'm a grown [wo]man. I don't need permission... It's my body. It's not like I'm hurting anybody... I'm already getting old, I need to get pregnant before it's too late... We're getting married... Who needs a piece of paper to prove anything, it's all about the heart... It's not like I'm sleeping around... Everybody does that...
These are some of the excuses we often hear and use in order to engage in sexual encounters.
Then, after we're done with the encounters, as Christians, we cover it all with "the blood of Christ", saying to ourselves and anybody who wants to hear us "After all, aren't we all saved by grace?..." "But where sin increased, grace increased all the more"* conveniently forgetting what follows next: "Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?" **. To make matters even worse, we top it with a "God looks at the heart. He knows my heart is in the right place...
Whatever excuses we use to justify our behaviors whether is to have sex, having an affair or engage in very questionable demeanors, they don't fly with God. He himself has magnified his Word above his Name***. Which means that He holds Himself and everybody else to his Standards, to his Word. What He says, stays. He won't modify to satisfy our preferences and/or fairy tales.
In the same train of thoughts, His word also declares that "if we sin willfully after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a certain fearful expectation of judgment"****
Let me break this down. If you do something evil and you know in your heart it's evil and/or it's not right, and/or your conscience repeatedly questions you...[Let me make a point here, to know that something is evil, you have to know what is good, to know that something is NOT right, you have to know what is right] and above all you claim to know Jesus Christ meaning you've received the knowledge of the truth as he said "I am the way, the TRUTH and the life..." but yet choose to do the evil thing, there won't be anymore grace to cover your "arse", just patiently wait for God's judgement. It may not come right away, but it will surely come.
We no longer hear on our pulpits nowadays and I sure do wish we'll be judged by all the good stuffs that come from them, unfortunately it won't be the case. Besides during judgment day, our biggest regrets will not be over sins we had committed rather over all missed opportunities we had to rely on Him and chose not to.
So what should we say? Are we screwed? No more love, no more grace? Of course not! He is LOVE!! However, the perfection of his love can only be manifested by the glory of his righteousness. We can't accept God's love and reject his righteousness. We can't choose one over the other.
What should we do? Continuing the same behaviors? Keep using the same excuses? [after all it feels so good to gratify our flesh!] BY NO MEANS!! We must still repent and plead with God for deliverance for despite everything, He still remains in the business of total restoration full time.
This is enough food for thoughts. Stay tuned for part II.
Tresorly Yours,
Tresor De Beaute
* [Rom 5:20]
**[Rom6:1-2]
***[Ps138:2]
**** [Heb10:26-27]
These are some of the excuses we often hear and use in order to engage in sexual encounters.
Then, after we're done with the encounters, as Christians, we cover it all with "the blood of Christ", saying to ourselves and anybody who wants to hear us "After all, aren't we all saved by grace?..." "But where sin increased, grace increased all the more"* conveniently forgetting what follows next: "Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?" **. To make matters even worse, we top it with a "God looks at the heart. He knows my heart is in the right place...
Whatever excuses we use to justify our behaviors whether is to have sex, having an affair or engage in very questionable demeanors, they don't fly with God. He himself has magnified his Word above his Name***. Which means that He holds Himself and everybody else to his Standards, to his Word. What He says, stays. He won't modify to satisfy our preferences and/or fairy tales.
In the same train of thoughts, His word also declares that "if we sin willfully after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a certain fearful expectation of judgment"****
Let me break this down. If you do something evil and you know in your heart it's evil and/or it's not right, and/or your conscience repeatedly questions you...[Let me make a point here, to know that something is evil, you have to know what is good, to know that something is NOT right, you have to know what is right] and above all you claim to know Jesus Christ meaning you've received the knowledge of the truth as he said "I am the way, the TRUTH and the life..." but yet choose to do the evil thing, there won't be anymore grace to cover your "arse", just patiently wait for God's judgement. It may not come right away, but it will surely come.
We no longer hear on our pulpits nowadays and I sure do wish we'll be judged by all the good stuffs that come from them, unfortunately it won't be the case. Besides during judgment day, our biggest regrets will not be over sins we had committed rather over all missed opportunities we had to rely on Him and chose not to.
So what should we say? Are we screwed? No more love, no more grace? Of course not! He is LOVE!! However, the perfection of his love can only be manifested by the glory of his righteousness. We can't accept God's love and reject his righteousness. We can't choose one over the other.
What should we do? Continuing the same behaviors? Keep using the same excuses? [after all it feels so good to gratify our flesh!] BY NO MEANS!! We must still repent and plead with God for deliverance for despite everything, He still remains in the business of total restoration full time.
This is enough food for thoughts. Stay tuned for part II.
Tresorly Yours,
Tresor De Beaute
* [Rom 5:20]
**[Rom6:1-2]
***[Ps138:2]
**** [Heb10:26-27]
Thursday, August 4, 2011
God, Your [Wo]Man and Your Relationship (Part II)
3- A bad posture is you about to get marry but something is telling you "Don't do it!" or you're just not sure. Usually, in this scenario the person you're involved with may meet all your criteria, but for one reason or another, you're either not at peace with the decision to marry him/her or you're just encountering many obstacles. Friends, frenemies and enemies opposing your choice, Family members combating your partner, parents not totally on board with your decision. If you're in such a situation, it means you have 45000 French men fighting against you. And 45,000 French men can't be wrong. You might want to stop, retreat into a quiet time in a quiet place with The Lord and reconsider.
I recently read a book by Perry Stone in which he shared a story about him being engaged to a fellow Christian female but every time people would see them together, they'd always make a comment in the sense that they (Perry and his fiancee) did not belong together. She wasn't a "bad" person as humanely defined, neither was he. But there was just this thing that wasn't clicking. They ended up breaking up the engagement and today Perry is wonderfully and happily married to his current wife Pam. Now, not all stories are drama free like Perry's. Many of us have received warnings against one or another individual that we were considering for our long time noce. But we usually presented a deaf ear and later reaped the consequences. I know of at least three different stories of people finding themselves in this predicament with disastrous endings. In one of those stories, the guy's family members were all against him marrying his fiancée who was from a different tribe. A little bit of background, both protagonists were saved and distinguished Christians in their communities. And although the girl's in-laws did not approve of her, they never interfere in her marriage. However, a strange thing happened. She cheated on her husband numerous times and over a long period of time, got pregnant from someone else, passed the child as her husband's, later the duplicity was discovered and she finally divorced him.
Again not all stories are as that tragic but they all leave emotional scars or sometimes incurable sentimental diseases because of one wrong choice we have made. There are many things we would NEVER had done, if we knew in advance the cost we would have incurred.
4- A bad posture is you fighting temptation. For this predicament, there's no other alternative than to flee even if you have to flee with half your clothes on. If you're a very proud person like me, think about this:
"You are slave to the one you obey"* . If you obey your flesh which leads you to sin, you're slave to sin. And if you don't like the idea, let alone the act, then walk away! Period.
*[Rom6:16] - NIV
Tresorly Yours
Tresor De Beaute
I recently read a book by Perry Stone in which he shared a story about him being engaged to a fellow Christian female but every time people would see them together, they'd always make a comment in the sense that they (Perry and his fiancee) did not belong together. She wasn't a "bad" person as humanely defined, neither was he. But there was just this thing that wasn't clicking. They ended up breaking up the engagement and today Perry is wonderfully and happily married to his current wife Pam. Now, not all stories are drama free like Perry's. Many of us have received warnings against one or another individual that we were considering for our long time noce. But we usually presented a deaf ear and later reaped the consequences. I know of at least three different stories of people finding themselves in this predicament with disastrous endings. In one of those stories, the guy's family members were all against him marrying his fiancée who was from a different tribe. A little bit of background, both protagonists were saved and distinguished Christians in their communities. And although the girl's in-laws did not approve of her, they never interfere in her marriage. However, a strange thing happened. She cheated on her husband numerous times and over a long period of time, got pregnant from someone else, passed the child as her husband's, later the duplicity was discovered and she finally divorced him.
Again not all stories are as that tragic but they all leave emotional scars or sometimes incurable sentimental diseases because of one wrong choice we have made. There are many things we would NEVER had done, if we knew in advance the cost we would have incurred.
4- A bad posture is you fighting temptation. For this predicament, there's no other alternative than to flee even if you have to flee with half your clothes on. If you're a very proud person like me, think about this:
"You are slave to the one you obey"* . If you obey your flesh which leads you to sin, you're slave to sin. And if you don't like the idea, let alone the act, then walk away! Period.
*[Rom6:16] - NIV
Tresorly Yours
Tresor De Beaute
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
God, Your [Wo]Man and Your Relationship (Part I)
A decade and half ago, I decided to get serious with God. I recognized that His standards weren't mine, I recognized that, were He to judge me according to His law, I wouldn't pass the test. So I asked Him through Christ Jesus to forgive me of my sins and give me another chance. Since then, I've been around the Christian block long enough to hear and see relationship disasters spread among my fellows Christians. Today my post will address those of us who are in a bad posture. What's a bad posture?
1- A bad posture is you in a relationship with a non-believer.
2- A bad posture is you already married to a non-believer.
3- A bad posture is you about to get marry but something is telling you "Don't do it!" or you're just not sure.
4- A bad posture is you fighting temptation.
I'm not going to be the one to tell you to cut off your relationship with a non believer although that's what you should do. However, I understand that if you've already developed feelings for the guy/gal it becomes a very intricate situation. That said, if on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the strongest, your feelings are between 0-4, you can still be rescued. Confess and ask your Father in heaven to forgive you for stepping into the bad side, then cut off the relationship period.
If your feelings are between [5-7], oh boy, you're screwed...almost. At this stage, you've already convinced yourself the gal/guy is the one for you. Nobody can't tell you otherwise, even a speaking donkey will not do it unless God himself steps off his throne to pay you a visit in your room, in the middle of the night, surrounded by a white bright light. Other than that, the only thing that will save you is one of the following:
- The guy/gal breaks up with you.
- You develop Alzheimer and you forget that you're in a bad relationship and eventually the guy/gal breaks up with you.
- You're accused of murder/theft/treachery..[add to the list] and the guy/gal realizes there's no more any future with you, and s/he breaks up with you.
- You die.
Your capacity to make the right decision will depend of the depth of your love for God and your willingness to obey Him. Other than that, you're screwed!
If your feelings are between [8-10], the deal is closed. You're married and there's no going back. If you acknowledge that you're in the wrong for marrying the bad person, then there's still hope for you. All you have to do is to repent and ask for forgiveness to God or anybody else you may have hurt. If you're sincere, God will intervene in your favor. Will he punish you? Yes, he punished David the man after his own heart after he killed Uriah to marry his wife. The child that was born out of his union with Bathsheba died. But God restored him and gave him another child who he baptized "Jedidiah" meaning "greatly loved by God"* and who later became the greatest, most prosperous king the earth ever known**.
So yes, God is good, God is forgiving, God is loving. However all of His goodness, forgiveness and lovingness is meaningless if you don't receive it along with His righteousness. The greatest and most important decision a man or woman will ever make in their life is the one to follow Him. The next greatest decision is the choice of a mate. Therefore, be wise and don't repeat the mistakes that some of us made, don't waste your time, don't waste your life. Better to be alone than to be in bad company. Warnings and grace always precede judgment [Perry Stone]. Receive this as a warning or extended grace [depending on your predicament] and save your life some headaches. As a man I greatly respect once said, when the devil can't set you up with flagrant sins [adultery, fornication, drugs,...etc.], he'll either distract you with stuffs you're not supposed to do or [when he's really scare of you] he'll make sure to send the wrong person in your life. Whatever the case, God in his Great love always forewarns us, and a man forewarned is a man forearmed. I'll stop here for now and will touch the two last points on the next post.
* [2Sam12:24-25]
**[I King10:23-27]
Tresorly yours
Tresor De Beaute
1- A bad posture is you in a relationship with a non-believer.
2- A bad posture is you already married to a non-believer.
3- A bad posture is you about to get marry but something is telling you "Don't do it!" or you're just not sure.
4- A bad posture is you fighting temptation.
I'm not going to be the one to tell you to cut off your relationship with a non believer although that's what you should do. However, I understand that if you've already developed feelings for the guy/gal it becomes a very intricate situation. That said, if on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the strongest, your feelings are between 0-4, you can still be rescued. Confess and ask your Father in heaven to forgive you for stepping into the bad side, then cut off the relationship period.
If your feelings are between [5-7], oh boy, you're screwed...almost. At this stage, you've already convinced yourself the gal/guy is the one for you. Nobody can't tell you otherwise, even a speaking donkey will not do it unless God himself steps off his throne to pay you a visit in your room, in the middle of the night, surrounded by a white bright light. Other than that, the only thing that will save you is one of the following:
- The guy/gal breaks up with you.
- You develop Alzheimer and you forget that you're in a bad relationship and eventually the guy/gal breaks up with you.
- You're accused of murder/theft/treachery..[add to the list] and the guy/gal realizes there's no more any future with you, and s/he breaks up with you.
- You die.
Your capacity to make the right decision will depend of the depth of your love for God and your willingness to obey Him. Other than that, you're screwed!
If your feelings are between [8-10], the deal is closed. You're married and there's no going back. If you acknowledge that you're in the wrong for marrying the bad person, then there's still hope for you. All you have to do is to repent and ask for forgiveness to God or anybody else you may have hurt. If you're sincere, God will intervene in your favor. Will he punish you? Yes, he punished David the man after his own heart after he killed Uriah to marry his wife. The child that was born out of his union with Bathsheba died. But God restored him and gave him another child who he baptized "Jedidiah" meaning "greatly loved by God"* and who later became the greatest, most prosperous king the earth ever known**.
So yes, God is good, God is forgiving, God is loving. However all of His goodness, forgiveness and lovingness is meaningless if you don't receive it along with His righteousness. The greatest and most important decision a man or woman will ever make in their life is the one to follow Him. The next greatest decision is the choice of a mate. Therefore, be wise and don't repeat the mistakes that some of us made, don't waste your time, don't waste your life. Better to be alone than to be in bad company. Warnings and grace always precede judgment [Perry Stone]. Receive this as a warning or extended grace [depending on your predicament] and save your life some headaches. As a man I greatly respect once said, when the devil can't set you up with flagrant sins [adultery, fornication, drugs,...etc.], he'll either distract you with stuffs you're not supposed to do or [when he's really scare of you] he'll make sure to send the wrong person in your life. Whatever the case, God in his Great love always forewarns us, and a man forewarned is a man forearmed. I'll stop here for now and will touch the two last points on the next post.
* [2Sam12:24-25]
**[I King10:23-27]
Tresorly yours
Tresor De Beaute
Friday, July 8, 2011
Why Would A Christian Believer Knowingly Marry A Non-Believer?
It's been 10 and half years that I've set my foot in this country. I was young [still am], ambitious [still am] and in love [no more] with a fella that had an unquenchable love for God. I couldn't dream of anyone better for me. But the relationship ran its course and we parted our ways as it often happens with LDR.
My criteria for a serious contender stayed the same: Serious Christian, hard worker with an intellectual appetite on various issues, not just biblical, not just academia not just politic but a mixture of all the above and some more. Soon, I found out that I had to compromise on some of those criteria. Life in America proved not to be life in Africa. Two years later, after turning down a serious prospect because I wasn't ready for marriage at that very moment then, I was back on the market with my eyes open. I saw and conversed with all kinds of Christians.
I remember Daniel (of course that's a fake name to protect his identity), tall, handsome, well groomed and White. We met within the walls of our church and never outside of them. The first turn off came when at every conversation he'd veer it towards sex. I would wonder, he can't even say let alone spell my last name and he's already talking about what?? The 2nd turn off equally gruesome as the first, was him telling me that his parents, who are pastors, would not approve of him being with dark skin woman. Did I mention that they were pastors? This is only instance among three where I had been the direct protagonist, which leads to my points below:
- The lack of serious Christian prospects: this point goes beyond not being able to catch the right cat. It often involves a brother/sister who is "engaged" to at least two sisters/brothers at the same time. He's interested in you but doesn't clearly reveal his intentions nor tells you that he has his eyes somewhere else on someone else. Many sisters/brothers have been victims of this kind of "Chrismance" (Christian romance).
- Disappointment with Christians: After one, two or three encounters with the above, disappointment and bitterness towards the brotherhood or sisterhood of the traveling Christian love sets territory in your heart. And it becomes an excuse to date outside the landmarks.
- Immigration papers: Now this is a touchy subject for many immigrants in this country. If it was legal and not seen as a crime to kill to get papers, many will be accused of murder today. Many come close to it though. I've heard stories of immigrants who came here already married under the laws of their originating countries, nevertheless married a citizen, stayed married for the amount of time needed for them to also have their citizenship or their green card the least, then divorced their citizen husband/wife, to finally [re]marry the person they truly love.
- Ignorance: Today in our churches, with the main emphasis carried on money, give give and give, many Christians are just ignorant of what their God requires from them when it comes to their marital life. Hence they follow their heart, make the best possible decision with the best available information. That's one form of ignorance. The other form is the well informed Christian who deliberately chooses to ignore their beliefs and/or go against what the Bible teaches on the subject, rationalizing their bad decisions.
After an altercation with any of these "obstacles", no wonder many of us Christians Hard core believers found ourselves, to our own demise, unequally yoked. Whether you've reasoned your way into such a covenant or you were just ignorant and now you are wondering if you're screwed or living outside the will of God, depending of your heart disposition, the answer could be gloom or doom. And this will be the focus of the next post. For now, remember this: **"If anyone sins and does what is forbidden in any of the LORD’s commands, even though they do not know it, they are guilty and will be held responsible."
Let He who has ears hears or should I say let he who has eyes read
Tresorly Yours,
Tresor de Beaute
**Lev5:17 [NIV]
My criteria for a serious contender stayed the same: Serious Christian, hard worker with an intellectual appetite on various issues, not just biblical, not just academia not just politic but a mixture of all the above and some more. Soon, I found out that I had to compromise on some of those criteria. Life in America proved not to be life in Africa. Two years later, after turning down a serious prospect because I wasn't ready for marriage at that very moment then, I was back on the market with my eyes open. I saw and conversed with all kinds of Christians.
I remember Daniel (of course that's a fake name to protect his identity), tall, handsome, well groomed and White. We met within the walls of our church and never outside of them. The first turn off came when at every conversation he'd veer it towards sex. I would wonder, he can't even say let alone spell my last name and he's already talking about what?? The 2nd turn off equally gruesome as the first, was him telling me that his parents, who are pastors, would not approve of him being with dark skin woman. Did I mention that they were pastors? This is only instance among three where I had been the direct protagonist, which leads to my points below:
- The lack of serious Christian prospects: this point goes beyond not being able to catch the right cat. It often involves a brother/sister who is "engaged" to at least two sisters/brothers at the same time. He's interested in you but doesn't clearly reveal his intentions nor tells you that he has his eyes somewhere else on someone else. Many sisters/brothers have been victims of this kind of "Chrismance" (Christian romance).
- Disappointment with Christians: After one, two or three encounters with the above, disappointment and bitterness towards the brotherhood or sisterhood of the traveling Christian love sets territory in your heart. And it becomes an excuse to date outside the landmarks.
- Immigration papers: Now this is a touchy subject for many immigrants in this country. If it was legal and not seen as a crime to kill to get papers, many will be accused of murder today. Many come close to it though. I've heard stories of immigrants who came here already married under the laws of their originating countries, nevertheless married a citizen, stayed married for the amount of time needed for them to also have their citizenship or their green card the least, then divorced their citizen husband/wife, to finally [re]marry the person they truly love.
- Ignorance: Today in our churches, with the main emphasis carried on money, give give and give, many Christians are just ignorant of what their God requires from them when it comes to their marital life. Hence they follow their heart, make the best possible decision with the best available information. That's one form of ignorance. The other form is the well informed Christian who deliberately chooses to ignore their beliefs and/or go against what the Bible teaches on the subject, rationalizing their bad decisions.
After an altercation with any of these "obstacles", no wonder many of us Christians Hard core believers found ourselves, to our own demise, unequally yoked. Whether you've reasoned your way into such a covenant or you were just ignorant and now you are wondering if you're screwed or living outside the will of God, depending of your heart disposition, the answer could be gloom or doom. And this will be the focus of the next post. For now, remember this: **"If anyone sins and does what is forbidden in any of the LORD’s commands, even though they do not know it, they are guilty and will be held responsible."
Let He who has ears hears or should I say let he who has eyes read
Tresorly Yours,
Tresor de Beaute
**Lev5:17 [NIV]
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