Monday, December 28, 2009

They All Want A Piece Of This

They all want a piece this
It didn't matter if they were married, divorced, single or engaged
Short, tall, midgets or in-between, they try their chance
One commonality amongst all of them: hideousness
A huge physical deficit reinforced by their lack of literacy
They'd use vulgar language to describe things they want to do if they ever put their hand on this piece

Some of them even wear fake glasses to pass themselves as smart
Or as one shenanigan said, "to protect their eyes" although they have a very limited mind
Limited to ideas, limited to discussions, limited to exploration, limited to life
And their limited minds put you in their limited box, trying to make you fit
It doesn't matter if they've been in school and have advanced degrees
You'd be surprised at the enormities born from their tongue

Others are just totally delusional
They make up stories about you and think God has spoken to them
Maybe He has, but wouldn't he also speak to you, to convey the same message?
You talk to them once and they think you've pledged something with them
You say no, they hear yes until you threaten them with harassment that they understand you mean business

There's a third category, the ones who can be kind, who can even sustain a quite intelligent conversation
However, they're very dark inside
Close to tormented by some indiscernible force that push them to act the way they do
You need to get close to them to understand, but don't get too close as you may get burnt
They use that darkness to stir empathy in you by belittling themselves
They think of you not as a person but as a piece to their puzzle, a mean to an end
More often than not, they end up alone and empty
No, it's not audacity, pretentiousness or a "I'm better than thou" tirade
It's just a portray of facts viewed from a different angle
So you, be careful who you allow in your inner circle
They all wear mantle of sheep when in fact they're wolves just awaiting to devour you
Be even more aware of those who claim coming from the Lord, they're more dangerous
For all of them, always check their past and find out how they treated the people in their lives
Chances are they'll repeat the same idiosyncrasies with you

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Break Up Lines

I decided to get back with my ex --Y. T.
This is not working out, I've passed the point of blame --TB
You remind of me my ex...Thank you so much as you leave me alone --PA/TB
Yes, I slept with her --PJ
I got issues to take care that I don't want to mingle them with you--PK
I went back home and married my ex girlfriend --GE
You're coming here to see how I live? That will not happen --CT
You and I? Well, there is no you and I. TB
I think we need to break up --V.M.

Regardless of what your break up lines have been, each one of us is a bit of a scientist and as such, "The best scientist is open to experience and begins with romance -- the idea that anything is possible" Ray Bradbury

Ps: Please don't hesitate to share your break up lines here.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Tiana, Charlotte ou Miranda?

     I went to watch the princess& the frog. No need to say, I was the only non-parent in the theatre, purely there for my own selfish pleasure. It was a reminder of my childhood, a vision of my tiny ten years old self enjoying "Cendrillon" aka Cinderella. We (my siblings and I) grew up with Disney cartoon: Daffy Duck, Bugs Bunny, Tom&Jerry (I have a copy of it, downloaded and burnt on a DVD for my imaginary kids to watch someday), and Aladin. A tale of princesses going through hardship until the their prince charming would come and deliver them. We'd watch and re-watch the tapes just like the comics, we'd read and re-read them. I remember one of my favorite was a book called "Mille Et Une Nuits" (One Thousand And One Nights) Tome I&II. They were huge books of 1001 pages narrating eventful stories with happy endings.  When it comes to the matter of the heart, I'm a half Charlotte [the one who believes in love and that everything happens for a reason] and half Miranda [The cynical one who sees herself as a realist, and one who believes in wysinwyg (what you see is not what you get), she thinks people are fundamentally wicked and always have an ulterior motive and she also believes that love can happen but you can make do without by focusing on your career, getting that first house/condo, buying expensive stuffs out of pocket, ...etc]. Regardless of your views or positions on the subject, whatever is supposed to happen to you will happen. The difference is only in the approach. Some people are go getters while others are "let's wait and see".
      Today the siblings and I are all grown ups, each one of us pursuing their own dreams, some of us already living that dream, and others still going through the hardship of life. As for me, I'm lucky, very lucky...

Saturday, December 19, 2009


     I think sports movie are overrated nevertheless I went to watch Invictus. If you haven't seen it, please do!! It's probably one of the most inspiring sports movie [after "Remember the Titans"] I've ever watched. The director, Clint Eastwood (I hope he wins the best director Oscar this year), did an astounding job with the camera capturing the last ten minutes of the grand finale. A slow motion picture that depicts every single emotion not only of the different actors face but of you, the movie watcher, down to the heartbeat. Well this post is not about putting into lights all those details, I'll leave that to the critics. There are two things that captivated me in this movie, aside Matt Damon guns that were half revealed when he was in the locker room [a reminder of beautiful sculpture well in displayed in the Bourne Trilogy], discipline and more importantly forgiveness.
     Here is a team who is motivated to win, they put themselves under a strict regiment, they work out, they run, they train. They celebrate their victory after they qualify themselves to semi-finale, they sing, they drink, they shout but yet they go running the next day at 6am. I've always been fascinated by such determination to achieve and rigorous assiduity, maybe because I lack some [especially the latter].
     And there is a guy, an ex-con who after 27 years spent behind bars, comes out and becomes the first democratic President, the great leader of the nation of South Africa after the abolition of Apartheid. His purpose is to transcend race and reunite the people of his country under one Flag, one anthem. He can't do it without truly forgiving the very people who tore his family apart by dragging him and his wife out their home, and threw him in jail, the same people who would not hesitate to torture, insult, terrorize, or lynch any person of color on any ground, the people who gave him for all and all a thin mat where he would rest during his 27 years in prison, breaking bricks at day and breaking his back at night. He had to go above and beyond, to reach out over the anger, the pain and  humiliation he endured in his mind and body for the sake of 43 million souls he felt responsible for. He had to grant pardon, not only with his lips but with mind and heart to reconcile both sides, both races. Madiba [that was his clan name and that's how he was called by his close friends], betrayed and abandoned by his wife, estranged from his children, was misunderstood but he had a goal and a resoluteness in his heart. At one point in time, feeling the rage of his people against the national rugby team which depicts the old South Africa, he tells them: "you chose me as your leader, now let me lead you", in a handwritten letter he tells the captain of the Springboks in the words of  Henley William Ernest: "I'm the master of my fate, I'm the captain of my soul.", in a tv interview nagged by the sports anchorman about his support for any team against the Springboks, he says: "In times of change, a leader must change", thus outlining that his position has changed. His attitude and the embodiment of his personality inspired the South African National Rugby team and they won the rugby world cup.
     I still think sports movie are overrated but INVICTUS is one of a kind and one thing is undeniable about Sports, just like music, it breaks barriers and brings people together.
     Thus said, can someone say: WORLD CUP 2010 SOUTH AFRICA HERE I COOOMMMMME!!!

All The Single Ladies... and Gentlemen

A friend of mine sent me this video and I thought I would share it with you here. A solution that makes sense, notice I said A solution and I think it's a very important one. Here he talks most about the ladies but I think it goes the same for any man.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Hear Me Out

It's a feeling of confusion
It comes upon when you face a very important decision
It's about your wife
It's about your life
It's one thing to know what's right
And another to do what's right
And wrong upon wrong does not right the wrong
That's the only domain where the mathematical formula doesn't apply
Unless there's an intervention of the God on High
But who believes in him again nowadays
We go to church, we sing, we shout, we pray and praise
It just seems that He'd rather get away from us
Leaving us to our demise with no choice but to rely on others: Orpheus, Morpheus or Zeus
It's not a cry for help nor one for explanation
You've already shown us you prefer inaction
We just want you to pay attention invisible Friend
We used to be offended by that but it actually makes sense.
We get it especially when the situation is tense
Any other time, we let it slide
We convince ourselves this works for us and we glide
We glide like on a moon ride
The ride is not always smooth, the other day we ran into a bump
Guess what we did, we jumped
We shouldn't have cuz we broke an arm, a leg and got a bruise on the head
And now we fear the things ahead
Total panic in the ranks
And all we see are blanks
Please bring us some color
Bring us some seemliness of order
How long again should we wait
"Soon, soon, soon", we bet
But who are we kidding here
When are we going to get there
What is our destiny
what do you have for us in the near vicinity
Are you going to mirror us the promise land
Just like you did Moses
Please answer us
Don't send us to Orpheus, Morpheus or Zeus

Wife of Yesterday - Today & Future: Which Are You?



Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Practice What You Preach

No no no, this is not one of those sermons. This is real stuffs, just enjoy the music

So what do you want to do
I’m here, baby, I’m ready, baby
I’m waitin’ on you
Believe me, I am patiently waitin’ on you

Yeah, there’s something wrong with me
Every time I’m alone with you
You keep talkin’ ‘bout you lovin’ me
Hey, babe, your foreplay just blows my mind
So why don’t we stop all the talkin’, girl
Why don’t we stop wastin’ time

I’ve had my share of lovers
Some say I’m damn good
And if you think you can turn me out
Baby, I wish that you would

‘Cause you keep tellin’ me this and tellin’ me that
You say once I’m with you, I’ll never go back
You say there’s a lesson that you wanna teach
Well, here I am, baby, practice what you preach

(I’m tellin’ you this and tellin’ you that)
(‘Cause once I’ve been with you, you’ll never go back)
(There is a lesson that I’m gonna teach)
Well, here I am, baby, practice what you preach

Yeah, it’s just you and me
So many things I can do to you
And so many ways I can please
Hey, hey, hey, it’s your move, girl
Why don’t you start turning down the lights
And show me what just you can do, hey, baby

I’ve had my share of lovers
Some of them were damn good
But if you think you can turn me out
Girl I just wish that you would

‘Cause you keep tellin’ me this and tellin’ me that
You say once I’m with you, I’ll never go back
I know there’s a lesson that you wanna teach
Here I am, baby, practice what you preach

(I’m saying this because it’s a fact) Is it
(Once I’ve been with you, you’ll never go back) Really
(There is a lesson that I’m gonna teach)
Well, I'm still waitin practice what you preach

(I’m telling you this and I'm telling you that)
(‘Cause once I’ve been with you, you’ll never go back) Show me
(There is a lesson that I’m gonna teach)
Here I am, practice on me

(I’m saying this because it’s a fact) Is it
(Once I’ve been with you, you’ll never go back) Do it
(There is a lesson that I’m gonna teach)
Girl, I’m still waiting, practice what you preach, ooh

(I’m telling you this and telling you that)
(‘Cause once I’ve been with you, you’ll never go back)
(There is a lesson that I’m gonna teach)
Here I am, girl, practice on me

(I’m saying this because it’s a fact) Is it
(Once I’ve been with you, you’ll never go back) Really

Monday, December 14, 2009

I Had A Lover Who Didn't Love Me Back

I had a lover
Who did not love me back
I did everything that a guy could do
I couldn't do more than that
I felt so helpless
I thought things would never change
Then I saw my girl walking down on the avenue
One day I said, I wanna talk to you

I wasn't afraid to cry
Emotion was in my eyes
She took me on a natural high
When I said, I love you girl of mine
And then she said, I love you back
She loves me back

I had a lover
Who did not love me back
I bought her candy canes and dolls and flowers
And I took her to Coney Island
Now, who could do more than that?
It was a problem
Until on that fateful day
I saw my girl walking down on the avenue
She said, I wanna talk to you

She wasn't afraid to cry
Emotion was in her eyes
She took me on a natural high
I said, I love you girl of mine
And then she said, I love you back
She loves me back

I don't think our love's gonna lose
There ain't no way
I'm taking my time to convince her
That love's here to stay, hey
Love is here to stay because
She loves me back

We weren't afraid to cry
Emotion was in our eyes
She took me on a natural high
I said, I love you girl of mine
And then she said, I love you back
She loves me back

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Independent Women

      Independent Women: Their general characteristics are: educated, professional (having a career going), ambitious, financially independant, they got their own stuffs by their own means, and they're single. For this type of woman, you can't impress her w/ flowers, a new car, a new house, shoes or clothes, all those things will sure sparkle her interest but what will definitely hook her up is your patience, your attention, your emotional support, your integrity, you must have your game on and going.
Now ladies, if you think you have a good fish in the tank, show him that you're more than that outer shield. Put your feminine side on display: serve him, literally serve him. Bring him his glass of water without him asking, remove his shoes, take his hand and press it against your heart for just 30 secs while looking at him in his eyes (you can add to the list). Those are very simple gestures that say a lot about how you feel, but it can be very difficult especially if you have an ego as wide and big as...(you finish the sentence). Don't let that ego whisper in your head: "you're being vulnerable...don't let him see you like this... and what if..." and it goes on.
I don't know exactly how this following story ties in this post. There used to be this friend of mine complaining about his then ex-girlfriend how possessive, clinging and over-jealous she could be. And I would tell him why wouldn't she be clinging? You gave her everything, you brought her here, you gave her shelter and food, you found a way for her to continue with school, you clothed her, you bought her a car. If I had a man like that in my life, if he says "Jump!", I'll ask him "how high?", for there is no greater love in display as the one you've shown her.
Just to tell you ladies, a guy does something like that for you, don't let him go. Stay tight the best you can. I'm not saying that you must alter your personality to please him, all I'm saying is true love (for those who believe in it) rarely comes along our way, so if and when it comes, hang on to it.
Don't be plain stupid like some. Seriously, true story: this guy meets this gal, a few months after she gets into a car crash and her car is totaled. The guy goes ahead, takes a loan in his name and buy her a newer car. Then he forgoes his own school, to help her pay for hers. They finally become Mr&Mrs same last name, then she cheats on him with s.o he knows and who turns out to be the husband of one of his friends, lol, one would think that the woman be wise enough to repent and change her ways. As I stated, don't be stupid. Have discernment, be wise and recognize when you have the real thing in your life. Same goes for you guys, when you have the real deal, don't ditch it out, don't be stupid.
     It's good to be independent but it's even better to know how to land in the right middle. It's all about borrowing enough from your left and right brain. As good as it is to know how to think logical and make sound judgments, it's also good to know when to humble yourself and even cry.
Now don't do the latter when the guy has already shown you in every way possible that he doesn't want you. Don't do this when the guy tells you he's all confused and diffused. Don't do that when the guy speaks of his ex- using terms such as witch or the like although he spends quality time with her every day behind your back.
Remember you still have your dignity, your self esteem, and yes, your pride :).

Monday, December 7, 2009

Here or There?

I've been speaking lately w/ some fellow Cameroonians. Good friends that I've known for a while and some that I've never laid my eyes on. Got a few friends like that, we've been talking for over half a decade, sent each other virtual congratulations or thank you notes or sorry messages. Anyway I'm getting beside the point here. Our discussion was about finding the "one", should we look among ourselves or should we go back home? One of them was for looking among ourselves because it could be risky to go home and get someone. He had some stories to support his arguments. Apparently there was this brother who, by desperation went back home in Cameroon to marry. A few months after he had brought his wifey here, they got into an argument and next thing we know the wife started talking about divorce saying to herself that she could do better (meaning she could get a better man). Another one told me of a story of another brother who did the same thing, went back home to get wife. Wife got here, the time to get her stuffs together so she could start going to school and work, she met a fellow brother from the same village as her. They would meet and talk and meet and talk until she became his wife instead. The brother who had brought her here, is rotting in prison now for assaulting the guy who took his wife.
The other friend was for going back home and get a wife there, said he has looked around himself and realized that most coupled that are in the community got their spouses back home and things seemed to be working out just fine. Even if they have their little shenanigans, it stays between them, nobody in the community knows anything. To each example he was giving I was able to pinpoint a drawback albeit I had to admit that he had made a good observation. In our little Cameroonian community I knew of two couples (or should I say one and half?) that had met here, got married and are still together. The first couple both are Cameroonians, the second, the wife is from Cameroon and the husband is from a different African country.
A friend back home was surprised that the diaspora (both genders) would call and ask to look for a wife or husband for them and said "why don't you guys get married amongst yourselves?"
The complaint I've often heard about the sisters is that the brothers are not serious, they just want to "cut the grass" and leave. The brothers on the other hand complain about the sisters' "Evolution", in other words they're too europeanized. One thing I would like to say in our defense, especially for us sisters that have left home very young to come to this land of opportunities, is this: A lot of us have left the niche of our families back home early in age to go study abroad and most of us were half baked. Our personality was still in the works and along the process we picked up a little of here and there and became a generation of young people who at times, feel lost within the realm of the culture we've tried so hard to embrace to some degrees and even more lost within the one we've left behind. We try the best we can, we make do with what we have and with whom we've become. We expect our husbands to take care of us, to do their share of chores, to open the door when we go out, we've become Camericains or must I say Afrimericans.
Anyway, all of this got me to think, how many Cameroonian sisters have gone back home to marry then brought their husband here? I didn't know of any but i chatted with my BFF Prince Hamilton aka bro, and according him the ratio of success of sisters who went back home to marry and brought their hubby here is largely higher than the one of brothers who did the same thing. Their husbands stayed and they are happy.
Having discussed this particular subject with my single friends and asking them why they wouldn't consider such an option, their reasons vary and go from the brothers wouldn't understand our lifestyle here, they may just use us to come here and then leave us to it requires so much sacrifice to get them here, prep them to the pace of life here...etc. Those reasons are so deep rooted to their mind that some of them decided to get married to their job and to cuddle at night with their teddy bear and a glass of wine.
And this is to all my singles very accomplished friends, let's not lose courage. We got where we are working our behind off to reach this level, we're happier than before when we were going through hardship. Why can't we consider doing the same thing to reach a higher happiness? If it requires to go back and grab that good cassava and bring him here, why not? After all happiness comes with a price, how much are we willing to pay?

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Addicted to Soap Operas

DAYUUUMMMMMM I LOVE SOAP OPERAS!! I think I'm addicted, no SERIOUSLY!! I've been watching General Hospital religiously for close to a decade now!! Break ups, hook ups, break downs, make up, get together, laughs and tears, marriage and divorce, life stories that sometimes mirror my own. Soap operas, they provide a fantasy land, an escape into Jason muscular arms and those cheeks bones when he kisses Sam (I'm jealous of you!!), a pleasure for the eyes when the big cross tattoo in display on Sonny's arms (hum hum good, yummy yummy). Oooh and when Dominic or Johnny is bare torso, oh lord Jesus, you took some time to build them men.

The Blind Side

I love movies, that's my favorite distraction. I love them so much that I absolutely do not mind going to watch them alone. On thanksgiving day, I got to bring one of my dear friends with whom I shared some glorious days. We watched the Blind Side Starring Sandra Bullock. The title could be renamed The Power of Compassion. A very compelling story that makes us count our blessings, makes us appreciate how good we have it and when we realize how much it is, we must share it. On her way home, riding along with her family, Mrs Touhys notices Big Mike walking down the streets under a non clement weather, with no coat on. She takes him to her home, gives him food and a shelter, hires a  private tutor so he can bring his grades up and end up being his legal guardian. Only a heart filled with compassion can accomplish such a thing. Mrs Touhys was a tough cookie too who could stand up to thugs in the streets and yell her way through situations but would scarcely show her feelings.
Provided I live a long time, I've often thought that one day I will adopt (that is of course my partner is on board with it), or at least be a mentor to someone, be a positive influence in their life. Not everybody is cut out to adopt (remember the story of that woman who returned her adopted infant because she couldn't feel any connection?), for some is a good idea worth entertaining, for others it's unconceivable. And not all adoption stories end up like Big Mike who became a successful football Pro. In fact, there's been cases where the adoptees turned against their adopters or would cause such grief that the adopter would regret to have adopted. We heard stories of fathers who ended up sleeping w/ their adoptee child.
Regardless of your stance on the subject, adopters deserve a good round of applause. For not only does it take compassion, it requires some altruism to get out of our cocoon of a life to throw somebody a line.

Who Are You?

I think each one of us has DID (Double Identity) a good side and an evil twin. What amazes me is how unexpectedly evil some people can be. I mean it's one thing to know it theoretically and quite another to experience it first hand especially if you're at the receiving end. At 12pm they call you mah luv, my darling and at 12 am they throw you out of their house. At 12 pm they apologize and bitterly regret their actions at 12 am they justify it and tell you that you deserve it. At 12 pm you call them baby or some made up sweet name, at 12 am you call the police on them and they're sent to jail. At 12 pm you sent them to therapy and at 12 am you're willing to go to therapy with them. At 12 pm they're entertaining the idea of getting a restraining order against you and 12 am they're allowing you back in their life with phone calls and secret rendez-vous.
This world is so messed up, to the point that I truly believe I've seen it all and I've lived (and keep living) my life the best way I possibly could (can) given my circumstances.
As Plautus used to say "There is no perfect woman, it's a matter of comparative badness, bro", yeah or, there is no perfect guy, it's a matter of comparative evilness.

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