Monday, December 20, 2010

2011 Project 3 Revealed

     Hello Friends and Non-friends,
     This is going to be the last post for year 2010. It has been a wonderful awesome year on my end. God's willing, I will take some time in 2011, to look back and reflect with you into my 2010 journey. Increase and growth at all levels, physically: I went from a size 2 to size 4 (to my mom's delight) and in my own terms I went from bony to fleshy; financially: personal GDP of 2%, not a lot (we can blame that on the recession), and spiritually: it was an exponential growth, if I had to write a mathematical function it'd be: f(x) = e^x where x is a real number.
     Well I'm here to reveal to you project #3: TDB is going to rehab, she's voluntarily committing herself to detox against...Soap Operas for 3 weeks!!...That's all she can guarantee for now. How is she planning on accomplishing this? First, by going on vacation to a much warmer place, definitely warmer than the sunshine state. I'll take this opportunity to request prayer for protection and a safe trip [Thank you.]
Of course there's much more to this trip than rehab. God's willing, I'll share tidbits of it with you but not until I'm back. On this note, I wish you all a wonderful, merriful Merry Christmas [the time of the year where we act the way we should the rest of the year~lifeline production], and don't leave out the reason of this season out of your season.

Merry Xmas and see you next year

Stay Tuned, Stay Beautiful, Stay Christmas-y.

Tresor De Beaute (TDB).

Friday, December 10, 2010

Was It Too Late? A True Story of A Dying Man

 It was about 7:45 am and I was getting ready for work when my phone rang: "Allo?"
"Remember Ruben, my roommate? He's dead" blurted the voice on the phone. "Yes I remember him, what happened?".
I had visited this family in 3 different occasions, and have met Ruben during one of those. He was this big chubby and very private person. Aside the time, we got introduced, the only other time I heard Ruben make some noise was one morning during prayer time and Ruben knocked on our wall to make us understand that we were loud.
The day before he passed away, Ruben seemed a little more agitated than usual. He asked for Mr Price and was told that Mr Price had traveled for work and ministry and wouldn't be back until the new year. So he asked for Attorney Lawrence who also works in ministry but on that day was attending a church event. Meanwhile, Ruben was getting more restless, looking at his watch and inquiring about Att.Lawrence whereabouts, wondering when he'd be back, pacing around the house. At one point in time, Zelly noticing his restlessness, inquired about his wellbeing, to which he replied he was fine and that people were coming to pick him up and he needed to speak with Att. Lawrence. He then went on asking about Jesus to Zelly: "How do you know Jesus is the answer? How do you get saved?" She explained to him "Jesus died on the cross for us, you just have to believe and ask him to forgive your sins." Then once again he asked for Att. Lawrence. Several phone calls and sms could not get him back at home until very late at night.
The following day, as Att Lawrence, was wondering about Ruben's request to speak with him, he went into his bedroom, only to discover him bent on his knees, head on the floor, dead.
Was he praying when those "people came to get him"? Did he receive the Only one who can guarantee Peace? Did he accept Jesus in his heart as Lord and Savior? It is impossible to know for sure.

     This will certainly sound like a "whole bunch of garbage" for some and for others just another reason, to despise Christianity or roll their eyes given that Christians nowadays are nothing but examples of backstabbing, jealousy, adulterous closeted gays and lesbians and more. Nevertheless, each one of us is still responsible for our own salvation. Buying a bad cantaloupe from a grocery store doesn't mean that all cantaloupes on the market are bad. To associate with Christians who make bad choices doesn't invalidate the existence of the real good ones that are still out there nor does it invalidate the existence of the Real Good God who longs for a personal relationship with each one of us, wants to share his treasures with us, and above all wants us to live a quality life beyond what we can imagine. The choice is left with us.

Stay Tuned, Stay Beautiful, Choose Well
Tresor De Beaute

Whatever people think of you will never change your destiny. However what you think of other people may change it.-- R.W.

Monday, November 29, 2010

2011 Project 2 Revealed

     TDB's next project could be quite a challenge if there's a lack of interest, determination and discipline: Read the Bible in ONE YEAR, the entire bible not just snippets of familiar stories we've heard in church. What makes this project more exciting is the fact that I'll be reading the bible for the first time in English. For the life of me, I still do not comprehend how I've managed to rob myself from that experience. Now, don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying that for the ten years I've been in this country I've not read my bible, I'm saying I've not read it in its entirety in English, whereas I've read it in French about 12 times cover to cover, and the New Testament several times both in French and English.

     So why is it important to read and know the bible? Isn't it the Pastor's job to read it and preach it to us?
  1.  Be an intellectually curious Christian. Read the bible just because! Be curious about it. Don't let some preacher masticate it for you to swallow and this brings me to the next point.
  2. Take responsibility for your own salvation. Your pastor, priest, or Christian friend is NOT responsible for it, you are. Become familiar with the stories and parables. Examine it every time you're in church or when listening to predications to see if what the preacher says it's true. So many of us Christians are just plain gullible, believing all kinds of things. Let's start acting like the Berean who would examine the Scripture everyday to see if what Paul said was true*. This is Paul we're talking about, the guy whose simple touch would heal, his words could make go blind or walk again if you were crippled. Some today would've called him a charlatan. The Berean weren't impressed. They cared about the TRUTH. So they checked the Scripture everyday.
  3. Be loaded with answers. Put yourself in a position where you can answer any question about your beliefs. What is salvation? How do you know heaven or hell are real?
  4. If possible, enroll a family member, a friend or a close one. Be cheer leader for each other, encouraging one another.
  5. Why should we read the bible at all? [it's funny as I'm writing this very sentence, Barbara Walters's Special Edition is on and she's asking our President Barack Obama if he reads the bible to which he responds "Yes, everyday.".So this could be your motivation.] This is the answer a grand-father gave to his grand child as he was putting charcoal in a basket. He asked the child to carry the basket down to the river and to bring him back some water in it. After several attempts, the kid feeling discouraged  wanted to stop. At his grandfather nodding, he looked at the basket and noticed something different about it. It was CLEAN. It has gone from dirty to clean. And the grandfather said: "my son, it's the same thing that happens when you read the bible,... your soul changes."

     I hope this gives you enough incentives to embark in this journey with me. As stated earlier this project, it requires discipline, and who says discipline, says schedule, who says schedule says calendar. Here is a remarkable online resource that dissects the entire bible into portions scheduled on each day of the year. It gives the choice to read it beginning to end, chronologically, historically, new then old, or old then new. It lists all the different versions and main languages. Last but not least it gives you the choices to start either on the 1st or the 15th of a month. Personally, I anticipate starting on the 15th of January 2011, using the New/Old method. I used to read it beginning to end but after a while about half way into the OT, I would feel "hungry" for the NT.

     How to do this practically? Some do's and don'ts 
  • Schedule it on your calendar. I use Google Calendar and I've set it to send me reminders to my cell phone. If you decide to choose the old/new or new/old method, you can schedule the new in the morning and the old in the middle of the day.
  • If you have a smartphone, download a version of the bible on it. During your downtime.
  • Don't, no let me rephrase that, NEVER schedule your bible reading before bed time.
  • Don't beat yourself up if you skip a day, just take it as a challenge to be more disciplined.
  • Don't use it as a fetish. I remember someone once told me that they would always travel with a bible in their bags for protection. The person did not read, did not care about its instructions, let alone honor the God it talks about.
 As the first 2011 project targets the body, this one targets the soul. What's left is the spirit. So stay tuned as there is more to come.

*Acts 17:11

Stay Tuned, Stay Beautiful, Stay an Intellectually Curious Christian
Tresor De Beaute

Whatever people think of you will never change your destiny. However what you think of other people will change it.-- R.W.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

2011 Project 1 Revealed

     For those of you who haven't guessed it yet from the new profile/background pictures, TDB is going Naptural. Yes you read it right NAPTURAL as in Nappy Natural :). She has decided to become a  "Nazarite" of some sort. Let me explain, back in the days, and I mean waaayy back in the days, the hebrews/jews had this tradition of dedicating themselves to God, it was called the Nazirite vow: The vow was taken by individuals who had voluntarily dedicated themselves to God. The vow is a decision, action, and desire on the part of people whose desire is to yield themselves to God completely [].
     The individuals had to abstain from a certain number of things during their consecration period. As for me, all I have to abstain from is the "creamy crack"/perm. However this resolution to go back natural is more than forgoing "crack" altogether, it's a physical manifestation of my inner metamorphosis. It's a rebirth, a return to "the things I did at first"*. I started perming my hair about ten years ago, a few months before I immigrated in this country. And with each crack session, my hair started growing thin, breaking and finally got damaged, nothing but a simple reflection of what was happening in the inside. So many bad things happen inside of us all, bad thoughts, bad desires, impatience, one compromise after another, envy, jealousy...etc. We live by them, we sleep by them and some even die by them. It's time to STOP and to "Consider how far you have fallen! Repent (change the inner man to meet God's will) and do the things you did at first [do the works you did previously when first you knew the Lord]"*. NO more excuses, NO more apologies, no more postponing. Three Simple steps:
  • I did the Big Chop (BC), I removed all the processed and damaged hair [I got rid of all the toxic things and people of my entourage].
  • I shampoo and condition my hair once a week and the rest of the time I just moisturize it. [I go to church once a week and the rest of the time I study, read and listen]
  • I bought products to help me achieve my goal of new long healthy hair. [I surround myself with people who share the same beliefs as I do, who help me fulfill my Nazirite vow. I stay vigilant of who to admit in my inner circle as it is not everyone around you who have your best interest at heart]
And the results so far are changing. Check for yourself:

For more: click on the link below (I believe you have to be logged into facebook to see them all):

Don't forget to follow me on twitter for more thoughts, for more musings:

*Rev 2:5 amplified version

 Stay Tuned, Stay Beautiful, Stay Naptural
Tresor de Beaute (TDB)

Whatever people think of you will never change your destiny. However what you think of other people will change it.-- R.W.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Preparation Projects

     As the new year is approaching Tresor De Beaute is preparing herself for an upcoming and very important trip,  there will be some changes around her blog. Starting with the new background design. She'll be experimenting before settling. Please send in your comments and recommendations if any. Before finishing this post, I peaked into my inbox and found this comment [in French]: Humm c'est toujours la nouvelle annee la que tu prepares comme ca...Hummm Is that the new year that you're still preparing like that?? So commentator, there you have your answer.
     Tresor will also be revealing what she will be up to for the upcoming year. Lots of exciting news and projects with the central theme: Discipline. So please, stay tuned and enjoy the ride with me.

Stay Tuned, Stay Beautiful, Stay Prepared ;)
Tresor De Beaute

Friday, November 12, 2010

Prepare Yourself for 2011--Part 3

     This is the last series of my three-parter "Prepare Yourself for 2011". And this post will elaborate on one crucial step that you can apply to successfully prepare for the new year ahead of you: Retrospective.
     To retrospect is to look back at past events. The goal is to look back with the most possible objective mind, marking pluses on great things accomplished and minuses on not so great things.
     Then beside those plus signs, list the things or persons that contributed to the success of your accomplishments. Think about the strategies and guidelines you had to put in place to ride this successful operation or plan of yours and re-implement them for your 2011 plans. Thank the people who were there for you.
     Do the same for the minus signs. Mark down those inglorious moments that sparked mishaps and groaning unintelligible sounds.  Learn from your mistakes and other people experience, as Dr Murdock says "Some Learn Best Through...The Rose of Mentorship. Some Learn Best From...The Thorns of Experience". And It's funny how at times, "the older the wiser" doesn't always apply to the entire population but rather to a sample. So careful who you listen to, who you believe in and who you rely on.
     And last but not least, if you haven't done this before, then do it now. Be thankful to God then reward yourself for each one of your successes. Lament your failures but don't give up and ask your Creator for help.
That said, my job here is done. I gotta go prepare myself for some awesomeness for year 2011.

As you're fully and happily living your life, make sure the present you're living will not be the past you'll regret in the future --TresorDeBeaute

Monday, November 8, 2010

Prepare Yourself for 2011--Part 2

     You have to meet certain conditions in order to prepare for a new year, a new job or a  new opportunity. Actually there's only one condition you have to meet: you have to be healthy: healthy in your body and healthy in your mind. I will emphasize mostly on how missing the latter requirement can have many unintended consequences. Most women (I'm not sure about men) in their 20s and 30s get sick in their mind at the wake of an emotional disturbance, either a breakup or a relationship gone south. Usually we women like to get ourselves into projects, just to distract us from the fact that we just wiped out an acute sentimental failure. And this behavior is ingrained into the belief that "the cure to a man is to get another man". Hence we get ourselves into rebounds, going from one rebound to another. So ladies, if you're in this situation, your project/resolution or plan for 2011 is to take time to heal first, face the pain, the hurt and the rejection meanwhile remembering that "Rejection is the proof someone couldn't master you. It's the reaction of the weak to your difference." [DrMM]. Review your morals, review your standards. I know we live in an age of "I'll figure it on my own", the reality is if your car has a problem, you bring it to the mechanic or better to the manufacturer especially if still under warranty.
     Four years ago, I had the best looking convertible in my neighborhood, then the transmission went bad, I brought it to the manufacturer who estimated the repair cost to about $4000.00 (four thousands dollars). The price to pay was too high, I was still a student with a job barely allowing to pay all my bills and my tuition. So I found this mechanic who promised to fix the car for half the price. The mechanic ended up damaging the car [which not only did I lose but paid even more money in the process] by replacing the bad transmission with a different, non matching transmission.
     We do the same thing to ourselves when trying to cure our man disease with another man, when looking for "projects" to distract ourselves from the situation at hand. If your mind, your soul or your spirit has a problem, bring it to The Soul-maker, they all have a lifetime warranty, a prepaid liability sealed at Golgotha two thousands years ago. To prepare yourself for 2011, you have to be HEALTHY first.
I've tried it, it worked, why couldn't it for you?

Stay Tuned, Stay Beautiful, Stay Healthy
Tresor De Beaute

"Your Future Is Decided By Who You Choose To Believe" -- DrMM

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Prepare Yourself for 2011

     2011 is around the corner and I've been working on my "resolution" list since last month. I really don't like the word "resolution", it just makes sound like one more thing that is NOT going to get done. I prefer "Project" or "Plans". It's a huge one in the sense that it'll impact all the pillars of my life: spiritually, emotionally and physically. And although I'll be revealing bit by bit some of my projects, the purpose of this post is establish some guidance that'll be necessary to actually check the complete box at the end of the year 2011.
  • Conception: At this point in time, we should have already dreamed up of something to accomplish in year 2011. If not, it's not too late. Let's get to work! eg: is it losing weight? Oh no forget about it! I'm not in the weight losing business. Is it doing sport more regularly? Or reading a couple of books?
  • Write down your goals along with a clear expectation of the end result. It will help as a motivational tool. There are some people who spend their time writing wonderful things about themselves to distract them from the horrors they cause around them. A way for them to remind themselves they're not so bad as a person. So write down those goals and especially the effects of the end result on you as a person. Will it rise your self-esteem? Will it bring more joy or satisfaction? Will it better someone else?
  • This is the most critical step, 60% of your success is encapsulated in it: Preparation. Prepare yourself. Speak with people who have already reached the same realization you'd like to see happen for yourself by end 2011. If you don't know anybody directly, look online, browse some videos and personal testimonies. For myself, I'm planning on going totally rogue with my physical appearance. And I'm doing exactly the above. It helps with mental preparation, self-motivation and determination.
  • .Elaborate your execution plan. Step 1, 2, 3...each one with the expected end result, some type of progression sheet.
  • Last but not least, cook all that in prayer. There's no better supporter or cheerleader than God. He'll guide you in distinguishing what's good, agreeable and perfect for you. By trusting Him, with all your heart and leaning not on your own understanding, acknowledging Him in all your ways, He will make your paths straight*. After all, you don't know what may happen along the way, good or bad, you can be certain He'll be able to hold your hands through it all.
*Proverbs 3:5-6

Stay Tuned, Stay Blessed, Stay Prepared for 2011.
Tresor De Beaute

Those who were successful around us were not aliens. Whatever their endurance, there were like us. The difference is that in the place of fear, they had a different feeling, their trust in God. Rev R.W.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

How to Right Your Wrong: Why David Was Still a Man After God's Heart After His Double Criminal Act

     I often hear Christians [and by Christians I mean Children of God in Christ Jesus] say "The blood of Jesus covers all this (and by "this", they mean, their "unchristian" way of living) even God still considered David the man after his own heart after his adultery coupled with murder."
     For the people who are not familiar with the story, David was the king of Israel who fell in adultery with another man's wife, got her pregnant, then plotted to get her husband killed at war to marry her. Oh Boy, God was  DISGUSTED, He was sooo PISSED, he decided to take away his son's life (progeny from David's adulterous relationship). But yet, when referring to David, He still called him "The man's after his own heart."
     It's no secret what David did to deserve such an honor, he did the one thing that eludes so many Christians nowadays: Repentance. He promptly repented as soon as his fault was pointed to him. He repented in front of Nathan the Prophet, he repented to his wife Bathsheba [Although, the bible does say that specifically, one has to believe that it happened as there's nothing as painful for a mother as to lose her own child. And David knew it was his fault the LORD struck their son*.] and I can bet that if Uriah was still alive, he would have begged for his forgiveness as well. Do Christian believers still behave like that today? Most of us believe that "dealing with God" alone is enough...Well it is but if and only your sin affects you and only you. When other people are involved, we must take the extra biblical step that consists into leaving our offering at the altar, going and being reconciled to our brother or sister**. As good and loving and forgiving our God is, He is Righteous and one can not pretend to love God and reject his righteousness. God was so unpleased with David's behavior that he didn't even recognize or approve of his marriage to Bathsheba [still referring to her as "Uriah's wife"***] until after he had repented, nine verses down***** "Then David comforted his wife Bathsheba, and he went to her and lay with her. She gave birth to a son, and they named him Solomon. The LORD loved him."
     One of my favorite preachers always says that "God never gave the Law for us to follow it rather to expose our shortcomings." that's why it was necessary for Christ to die for us to reconcile us to God our Father. David recognized his iniquity, confessed, and turned away from it. God punished his sin, but loved him more and restored him.
     We're all bound to go astray from God, whether is by getting involved with the wrong people, or by slandering a fellow brother/sister, or by just ignoring the good we're supposed to do. The question is: what do we do when we realize we did wrong? Do we justify our ways or do we take a page out of David's book?

* (2Sam12:15)
** [Matt5:23]
*** (2Sam12:15)] 
***** (2Sam12:24)

Stay Tuned, Stay Blessed, Stay Repentant
Tresor De Beaute

Monday, October 18, 2010

Stuffs I Read on Twitter This Week

If you fail in your life, it will be because of a person you chose to dishonor. If you succeed it will be because of a person you decided to honor.

Affection is not Proof of Trustworthiness. Affection Is A Reaction...Or A Diversion.

My Clock...Does Not Assess My Progress. My Completions...Assess My Progress

Friends of friends are not always friends

What Are The REWARDS of A Friendship With YOU? ..Listener? ..Encourager? ..Confidentiality? ..Energy?
Your Future Is Approaching at The Speed Of Your Decisions. 

You Don't Really Know Someone...Until You: ..Hire Them ..Fire Them ..Marry Them ..Tell Them "No."

Whatever people think of you will never change your destiny. However what you think of other people may change it.-- R.W.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Uncover Your Financial Woes

     It's known that divorce or death of a partner have brought financial cataclysm for the abandoned party especially when the latter is a woman.
     I read this story a long time ago about a woman who after her husband's funeral, discovered that he had racked up debt to his neck and was leaving her and the kids in charge of paying them off. He had depleted their retirement savings in an unsuccessful attempt to pay off his dues.
     This one is about a woman who asked her spouse how much school loans he had accumulated and he replied "about 10k", nevertheless at the next mail delivery, she checked the one that came from the loan institution just to found out that the loan was just a couple of bricks short of 40k.
     Another one is about this man who decided to defer his federal income tax withholdings saying he'd rather save it on his own before repaying during tax season. At his wife insistence, they filed jointly to save on taxes. And of course they had to take a hit because of the husband's delinquency on back taxes.
     All these stories illustrated one concept: Love does not exempt control. A couple must establish a system of checks and balances that equilibrates the financial dynamism of their partnership. Although one spouse may have amazing financial skills, the other should definitely keep a copy and have an understanding of the household income statement and balance sheet. The income statement will give you summary of revenues, such as your salary plus any other source of revenues, and expenses of your household such as bills paid, shopping, entertainment or miscellaneous expenses...etc and will tell you if you're saving or living above your means. Whereas the balance sheet would show you at a point in time all your assets (e.g. house, investments, 401k...etc), debts (mortgages, loans, credit cards...etc) and Equity (e.g. home equity) you may have. In software engineering, even the most canny developer has his code tested by a quality team. The best writer has his posts, articles or books proofread to detect any type of errors. Even the best companies in their domains have a quality control team, why shouldn't a couple apply the same principles to their finances, this very domain of their lives that affect them?
     This concept has been around for ages even before Christ's birth, and has been recorded by the wisest man: King Solomon. King Solomon has been attributed authorship of the book of Proverbs (my favorite) in the Bible. The last chapter is often titled "The Virtuous Woman" and it talks about the qualities such a woman has:
     - "Her husband has full confidence in her". Trust is a two way street. You can't break someone trust and still expect them to trust. A couple must be able to trust each other with their finances according to the guidelines they have set for themselves.
     - "out of her earnings she plants a vineyard". A woman must have earning, income, revenue.
     - "She sees that her trading is profitable". Here's that word again, PROFIT or SAVINGS. I talked earlier about the income statement which is the financial statement that shows profit or loss. In order to determine that her trading is profitable, a woman must understand and keep track of her household entries and outings/expenditures.
     - "Her children arise and call her blessed"--I just don't buy in the theory of "Stay-at-home" mom, according to which a woman makes a choice to stay home to "take care" of her kids. This is definitely a whole new topic that I'll have to discuss later. However, I would like to add this, staying-at-home is the straight and surest road to depression. Just read the stories and see for yourself.
     There are many more rules and precepts that can be extracted from Proverbs thirty one and none of them
exempt the man from his responsibilities as a husband. I just wanted to keep the focus on women as they're the ones always suffering financially after the divorce or the death of their spouse. The above concept are just preventable measures to empower mostly married women.
     Love does not and should NOT exempt control. As finances and adultery are running amok among the top reasons for divorce, it is very important for couples to be transparent with their finances with one another, and to find a common platform that would allow them to keep healthy books while not suffocating or feeling suffocated by their spouse.

Stay tuned, Stay bold, Prevent yourself from financial woes
Tresor De beaute

Whatever people think of you will never change your destiny. However what you think of other people may change it.-- R.W.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Got bad debt? Write it off !!

     Bernie Madoff proved us that crooks are not just the ones  with a mask on their heads and a gun on their hands. They're not just the ones I used to see in Cameroon at Mokolo market, naked and harshly flagellated resultant of popular justice. Like Madoff, they can dress well, smell good, greet us during meeting, be polite and they can also be our Exs. They're basically any people that owes you money, know very well they owe you the money but yet refuse to pay you back.
     Once upon a time I had a Madoff, he refused to pay me back and then justified his behavior by saying he had offered a coat and a back pack to a relative of mine and some other things. While men boast about buying luxurious cars and house to their wives or significant others, he was boasting about a raincoat and a bag which together were worth less than a hundred bucks. Another one, someone else's Madoff, just didn't bother to acquit himself from his debt. Readers, anytime a Man (man and woman alike) prides himself of his amoral deeds, know that there's more to hope from a dead cat than him. For all your Madoff(es), write them off as bad debt.
     Investopedia defines a bad debt as one that is not collectible and therefore worthless to the creditor. Bad debt is usually a product of the debtor going into bankruptcy. Therefore, declare your Madoff(es) rationally  bankrupt and intellectually corrupt, then "forgive the bastard and move on" wrote a mother warrior or as P.A. Hamilton often says "Let bygones be bygones" and let them battle with their own conscience if they still have one alive. After all your peace is PRICELESS.

Stay Tuned, Stay Bold, Say Goodbye n Good Luck to your Madoff(es)

Whatever people think of you will never change your destiny. 
However what you think of other people may change it.-- R.W.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Always Remind Me

Always remind me of your mercy on me
So I may show the same mercy unto others
Always remind me of where I had fallen
So I may not think I'm better than others
Always remind me of your goodness towards me
So I may show the same goodness towards others
Always remind me of what you have suffered because of me
So I may remember that life at times is unfair
Always remind me of the dirt I used to be
So I may keep the purity I now am
Always remind me of the gift you have given me
So I may also share it with others
Always remind me of my weaknesses and vulnerabilities
So I may always rely on your strength and invulnerabilities
Always remind of how beaten I was
So I may recall of the rewards of life based on unrighteousness and lies
Always remind me of your righteousness and truth
So I may always remember there's nothing better than to have you hover me

 Stay Tuned, Stay Bold, Stay Beautiful
Tresor De Beaute

The good I tried to do Was thrown back in my face
The hurt and the pain brought tears to my eyes
But God has replaced a blessing For every tear that I've cried

Thursday, September 23, 2010

The Gift of Repentance

     Scandals in church are as old as time: brothers killing their own brothers (Cain and Abel), kids sleeping with their dad's wife for all to see (Absolom), king sending hoi polloi to war to be killed and get their wives (King David), fellas slandering one another, the list goes on. They are still happening today, divorces, who slept with who, drugs abuse, abortion, homosexuality, pedophilia and more. And all of us at one point in time or for a time period, have stood on either side of the fence as a victim or as a perpetrator. To the victim I say, pray til your soul is totally restored, to the perpetrator I'd say, pray til the gift of repentance is given to you and your soul is totally restored. And this brings me to what  I would like to talk about: The Gift of Repentance.
     The fact remains that none of us is perfect, we all have our little shenanigans: lies (white or black), bad thoughts, porn, unforgiveness, impurity, adultery, slander, self-righteousness..., thus we're condemned to hurt one another one way or the other regardless of how much we may love one another. Fortunately we all possess the ability to say: "I'm sorry" or "Forgive me" and that's called repentance. Now, what I call the Gift of Repentance is not only to say "I'm sorry" and to truly mean it but to also go one step further and renounce our ways!! Was this the case, so many partnerships, friendships, camaraderies would be healed and get stronger.
     Unfortunately, our tendency as Christian perpetrators is to do bad and to confess to God, then do bad again then confess to God. Well this works if and only if your badness is only affecting you and you alone. In the case where more than one person are involved, we must ask for forgiveness not only to God but also to all the parties involved AND renounce our ways. Sadly, we treat our badness like cocaine, we inhale it and its magic works on us. Then we tried to stop using it but we can't, we try harder but we still can't. We're hooked, we're trapped, we're addicted.
     Henceforth, we need God's grace to intervene in our favor. There are many of us who take resolution "I will no longer do this"..."This is the last time" but who for some reasons can't help themselves. To them I say please persevere for the God of the Bible will let himself found by you if you truly seek him with all your heart. We Christians have altered the word of God by saying "We won't watch, we won't pray and we won't fall into temptation" says H.W. Resenting what God says doesn't make it less true nor does misinterpreting it to our own advantage. If we don't watch and don't pray, we will fall into temptation, square and fair.
     When I started my program of  "Starting Over Start From Scratch", in prayer and lamentations (sometimes you have to get them tears out), I resolved to ask for forgiveness from all I knew I had purposefully offended with no harm incurred from them. To get there, I had to do some soul searching, wondering about the height from which I had fallen. Then, I had to repent and start doing the things I did at first. Sometimes, to resume doing the things we did at first, requires a change of scenery, a change of garments or even a change of friends. It requires a total disassociation with things of the past, anything that or anyone who has partaken to our downfall, otherwise history is condemned to repeat itself.
     Repentance is a gift from above to the repentant. To repent does not merely mean to plead guilty to all charges, but also to renounce our ways. The latter may take more than one try, or two or even three, whatever the number may be, let's just not give up.

Stay Tuned, Stay Bod, Stay Repentant
Tresor De Beaute

Monday, September 20, 2010

Manipulation: Modern Day Witchcraft

     I'm sure at some point, each one of us has been a victim of or has exercised this new age, modern day witchcraft: manipulation.  Recently, back in our country, there has been a case of raw witchcraft in which a grown up human being, presumably male, was found immersed in a jar of mayo. As Africans, we're used to extreme cases scenarios of witchcraft. Hence we're raised with suspicion of certain tribes. The Bamilekes people are trained to avoid any type of alliance: acquaintance, friendship, comradeship, marriages with the Bassa'a tribe because their high involvement in witchcraft. I remember back in the days, I was thinking there weren't such in White people's countries until I crossed the Atlantic and landed here in the States.
     It's only recently during a conversation with a friend that I realized that witchcraft truly exists here although under a more subtle and more destructive form: Manipulation.
     The first place where I encountered that plague was among Christians. There was these two couples who were friends, one had more financial means than the other. The wife from the less fortunate couple would call the husband of the other couple to ask for money, lamenting of hardship, meanwhile the husband would call the wife of the more fortunate couple and do the same thing. This is an example of 3rd degree witchcraft.
We women, use this tool all the time against the men in our lives, we cry, we nag, we weep all that in an attempt to have them do something for us.
     Another instance is the one where a husband or so he called himself would tell his wife to sympathize with her friend who was going through some difficult time, would convince his wife (or so he called her) to invite the friend over for a few days, would ridiculed his wife's warning about the so called friend. Then a few months later, the wife discovered the whole conundrum was all a make up to cover the cheating ways of the husband: This is 2nd degree witchcraft.
     A last one that I think is the killer is the instance involving a Christians and a Non-Christian fellas. Someone related me a story of Christians vs. Muslims in Nigeria. The Muslims had come to exterminate the Christians, they murdered plenty of them and repeated the same operation twice. Meanwhile, a Muslim who had recently converted to Christianism, witnessed the whole injustice and decided to open a warehouse of weapons and gave to his Christians brothers. Hence the 3rd time when the Muslims came back to finish their job, they met with a very fierce adversity and that brought back peace. People often think that because you're a Christian you 're not supposed to claim justice when you've been done wrong. You'll often hear them say, "oh, and then she'll say that she's a Christian" or "oh yeah, if it's to talk about God this.. God that... he's very good at it." And so they use those tricks to manipulate those who are weak in characters. This is 1st degree witchcraft as it wraps up all the two types above. Personally, I believe it's a matter of wisdom when dealing with anyone that has done you wrong. There are times you can decide to let go and other when you should, no, you MUST fight back.
Stay Tuned, Stay Bold, Stay away from witchcraft
Tresor De Beaute

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Never Will I Be Able To Thank You Enough

Never will I be able to thank you enough
Never will I be able to express my gratitude enough
You rescued me from a certain death
From the rescue I lost my breadth
The things that I first looked at as jeopardy
Now are at the heart of my party
I cried I mourned I sobbed
It felt like a surgery without anesthesia
I could have turned like Fantasia
No morphine no medicine could attenuate the pain
And a deep pain it was but I had to face it again and again
As time went by my vision that was once blurrier
Became clearer
And now I can understand better
The scar is there to remind of what once was
Also a reminder of what now is
Now is peace
After all how would we appreciate peace
Hadn't we known war?
Now is happiness
How would we appreciate happiness
Hadn't we known sadness?
Now is delightfulness
How would we appreciate delightfulness
Hadn't we known resentment and bitterness?
Now is hope
How would we appreciate hope
Hadn't we known hopelessness and despair?
Never will I be able to thank you enough
Never will I be able to express my gratitude enough

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Don't Let Her/Him Turn You into Someone You Are NOT!!

- How is your wife doing?
- Who? She was a big mistake
- Sorry to hear that. How's your kid?
- With her and probably for the best.
- So she turned you into a dead-beat dad?
     I heard a story, a true story about a man. He had a decent job, was well respected in his community and he had the desire to get married. So he looked amongst his people from his church and his eyes caught the ones of a beautiful lady. She had been in church for a while, was known and admired from everybody. They didn't date for long, got married and had kids. Meanwhile, things around him started to unravel. People would call him and were told by the wife he wasn't home although he was there. She would sabotage him unbeknownst to him. Fights would rise in his congregation for no apparent reasons and people would complain about his wife, but to him she was the sweetest and greatest thing that ever happened to him. One day he came back home from work after another exhausting day and his wife warmly welcomed him, wearing lingerie, dragged him to their private quarters for some frolic exchange. Then she asked him to turn around for she had a surprise for him. At her signal he turned back and saw on his bed, at the exact place his wife was lying, a big snake. She had metamorphosed into a giant reptile. He only had time to jump through the window to save his life, leaving behind his house, his kids and his belongings. Did I mention he was a pastor?
     Many of us have similar experiences. People in our lives we hung with, we were attached to, we lived with or even married, who in the beginning were a source of a great joy, then turned out the be the biggest stumbling block on our path, causing us to shift our beliefs and our approach to life. To those I would like to say this: The best revenge is to reclaim who you are by not letting them turn into someone you are not. Don't let them turn you into a dead-beat dad/mom, don't let them turn you into a residual pot of resentment and negativity. After the initial stage of anger and disappointment, followed by pain and suffering, let your healing begin. Look at the whole experience as a gangrene that was just waiting to be removed, knowing and enjoying every bit of the better life you now have. Reclaim your life, become a better person, set yourself some new goals and reach them. Use your experience to help out others. Reclaim your personality and some more. How do you do this? Check out my post "2 Easy Steps to Total Self-Rediscovery".

     Now the question is: "how can I trust my future choice, when the first time around it burned me? To this, I only have one answer: Your Creator. You may be a skeptic, but how can you be skeptical about something you have not experienced? Give it a try and see for yourself. Maybe you're thinking, been there done that, where did that get me? Well, I can only ask this: When you were there doing that, did you have nudges? Were you sometimes uncomfortable, thinking maybe this is not the right thing to do or the right person? Were people around you warning you about your choice? If you answer is yes to any of these questions, then again give your Creator a try. Let him know what you think, what you want and in return He'll let you know what He thinks and what He wants, and finally you can make up your mind. Meanwhile, don't let him/her turn you into someone you are NOT!!

Stay Strong, Stay Blessed, Stay Beautiful
Tresor De Beaute

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

What's Your Season Now?

     I started this post a hundred thousand times but it wouldn't come out right because I was trying to "secularize" it as much as possible to no avail. I stated in one of my previous how difficult it is to transcribe good things that are happening to oneself. It has been a very long, fulfilling, reinvigorating summer!! Lots of travel, lots of study (yeah, summer classes!!), lots of fun and life changing decisions,one amazing experience after another: graduation, wedding, summer camp retreat, another wedding, divine connections, incredible encounters and favors. And throughout all, one thing I learned and would like to share here is to recognize the seasons in your life, every domain of your life.
     Over two and half years ago, my life as I knew it, kneaded and molded it with my own hands  shattered right underneath my nose. I had a choice, to either bend down, pick up the pieces to put them together or bend down, pick up the pieces to throw them away. As a Software Engineer/Application Developer, at times when doing design analysis, we have to decide whether to build on top of the existing object or just create a brand new object with new properties. The former strategy allows you not to start from scratch and it saves you on time. One of the drawbacks however is that, sometimes it's harder to track a bug especially if part of the code has been touched by someone else. As for the latter, starting from scratch gives you a better control of the situation, you're the foundation author of all the parameters and components involved and it's much easier to debug if the need arises. This same concept applies in real life. Sometimes when facing a bifurcation, you ought to take a pause and consider: is it worth continuing on the same path? Or should you start over and start from scratch? Whatever decision you take, make sure, you've consulted with the Architect to ensure that you've obtained the  seal of his approval; then check, double-check and even triple check the foundation. Once that's done, check the material you're using to build. Finally, start on building, stone after stone, always checking back with the Architect any time doubt or incomprehension arises. I mentioned earlier that my life as I had shaped it came crashing on  my face. That situation forced me to take a step back and consider where I had faulted:
- I had graduated from college and I told myself that it was time to get onto the next level with a relationship. Not because you think you're ready to do something that it means you should do it.
- I had moved the pillars of my values, putting my trust in me instead of in He who created me. Giving into all kinds of justification and rationale.
Armed with those truths, determined not to let them slide out of my sight, I resolved to do it right this time around. This resolution had two big essentials and undiscountable steps: penitence and volte-face. The first step was the easiest.The second was hot pepper. It required that I forgo of my ego and trust that His choices were better than mine. And God knows how much of a big ego I can have, as much as it makes me, it can also breaks me and it had in the past.
Nevertheless, it wasn't long before I started reaping the first fruits:
- Finances: I got a job during the full blown recession with an unbelievable salary increase
- Great connections: I found favor in the eyes of great person, opening the doors to all kinds of riches
- Peace: unfathomable feeling, must be experienced!
These are just big highlights, I can't list everything here. One important detail that I need to underline here is that I had some help: faithful, truthful and loyal friends praying for and with me. There are certain things that, no matter how willing we are, we need someone to accompany us along. It's like cheating/infidelity. No matter how strong the need to cheat on your partner is, you can't do it on your own unless you find someone willing to do it with you. It is important that the people you allow in your close vicinity are:
- Faithful: they'll call you and listen to you, bring you their support, put up with your rants and frustration and you can call them whenever in need
- Truthful: they'll tell you the truth even when it hurts or when that's ugly
- Loyal: they'll always have your back.
So, this is a season of peace and rewards, the first fruits of things to come as the work is still in progress.

Stay tuned, Stay  bold, Stay beautiful
Tresor De beaute

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Quotes From Tresor De Beaute

When you consecrate (set apart) yourself to God, He holds you to a higher standard. Therefore even the peccadilloes that most people get away with, yours can cost you the promise land.

At times when we feel betrayed, we're not directly mad at the perpetrator but we're mad at ourselves having realized that we were stupid enough, naive enough for allowing the perpetrator in our inner circle in the first place.

The fruit of a true prayer life is the eradication of a negative attitude, the annihilation of destructive criticism and the rise of a continual delightfulness at life.

You can recognize a good tree by the good fruits it carries. Be careful not to confuse green leaves with fruits...Tricky!!

There is no true friendship after a broken relationship.

Although past mistakes help us to learn and grow, they leave stains in our lives that, at times, are hard to removed and hard to ignore.

When you think about your enemies and all you can feel is not anger, nor resentment, but pity, then you know you've reached your upmost point of forgiveness.

Although the battle is not ours to fight, the victory is ours to savor.

It's a mixture of feelings when looking back at your inglorious past: feelings of stupidity when you know it could have been all avoided have you listened to your guts; feelings of contentment because you're in a much better place.

Be wary of white lies as they are a foreshadow of "black" lies.

There are some marriages that should be mourned and some divorces that should be celebrated.

Stay tuned, Stay blessed, Stay beautiful
Tresor De Beaute

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Starting Over? Start From Scratch: 2 Easy Steps to Total Self-Rediscovery

As I have officially celebrated my 30-1 th birthday, many things can describe my state of mind, spirit and soul.  It's funny how thoughts of joy, happiness, peace, love and hope are sometimes difficult to translate into words. Just imagine yourself bursting into genuine laugh, no worries, no sorrow, no bad feelings (guilt, shame, revenge, unforgiveness, shadenfreude...etc), no crying, just laughing and smiling and dancing, hopeful anticipation, gratefulness. Food on your table, table in your kitchen, kitchen in your home, bills paid, paid with money, money in your bank account. Free time, time to travel, time to see friends and family [home or overseas], time to enjoy life at its fullest, time to count your blessings, blessings from God, God in your heart, heart in your God,WOW!! Indescribable the feelings you have when you know you're living the life you're supposed to live. That's the results of starting over, starting from scratch.
     This year has been simply amazing. It took a while before I reached this point though. Time to go through some reckless decisions, reaping the consequences, then time to entertain some powerful emotional disturbances, reaping the consequences and finally time to get rid of them. I was "lucky", I didn't reach rock bottom: abandoned with a child to raise, drugs abused, sex addiction, nowhere to go,...nothing as dramatic. However I reached a point where I just told myself: "Enough is enough, I'm out!"
     This deepest determination was a strong driving force to propel me back into reality, reality according to the standards I had set for myself and that unfortunately I had deviated from. I remembered where and how the downfall started. I mentioned in one of my previous post that anytime you settle for something or someone that or who goes against your core beliefs, disaster naturally follows [literally]. Once I had acknowledged that and taken actions to reclaim who I was/I am, morphism began. You adopt a different attitude when you realize you're "walking in your destiny" with the assurance and the demonstration that you have God's favor resting on you.

If you haven't laughed at this post's title, then try this link for a genuine outburst.

Peace and Love
Stay blessed, Stay tuned, Stay Beautiful

Tresor De Beaute

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Week of Awesomeness

This is my week of awesomeness. A week during which I will laud all the key people who have chosen me as the recipient of their kindness, love and interest manifested in many ways.

To all my dear readers,
Friends and non-friends
Close or apart
For reading me and sending me kudos
for judging or not judging
for commenting or not
You're awesome!

You tolerated me even when I couldn't tolerate myself
You're awesome!
You taught me about forgiveness
I must admit I was impressed
Given you didn't know the best
Hence getting me out of my mess
You're awesome!
A million kisses to you I blow
An angel in disguise that I know
With you by me I grow
You're awesome!
You prayed with and for me
Even though I didn't feel like praying for me
You encouraged me
You counseled me
You're awesome!
When the least I would've expected
From you a gift unsuspected
You're awesome!
After a long extenuating day at work
I get home to see that you've cooked
You're awesome!
Out of your busy schedule
Overseas or at home
You take time to phone me
And to listen to me
You stand by me loyally
You're awesome!
I wasn't sure how long I would stay
You opened me the doors of your home
You welcomed me and gave me my space
You're awesome!
I stumbled and fell
The darkness out of me you expelled
You stretched out your arm
Bent over to reach out to mine
I saw your sunshine
And close to you I was drawn
You swiped away all my tears
And rid me of all my fears
Today confidently I stand
Knowing I have for guide your hand
Living the life I'm destined
Renewed, redeemed and pristine
To you I owe all that I am

stay tuned, stay blessed, stay AWESOME!!
Tresor de Beaute

Ps: You can follow me @

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Strong Women ==> Strong Nation

     I woke up this morning with my inbox full of  news alerts from yesterday senatorial and gubernatorial primaries:
- Sen. Blanche Lincoln wins the Democratic Senate primary in Arkansas, prevailing over Lt. Gov. Bill Halter
Meg Whitman, the former chief executive of eBay, has won the Republican gubernatorial primary in California. She will face Attorney General Jerry Brown.
- Carly Fiorina, the former chief executive of Hewlett-Packard, has won the Republican Senate primary in California. She will face Sen. Barbara Boxer, who won Tuesday's Democratic primary, in November.
- Former state assemblywoman Sharron Angle has won the Republican Senate primary in Nevada, She will face Senate Majority Leader Harry M. Reid, who won Tuesday's Democratic primary, in November.
     I got to admit this, I was very pleased with the results and I'm hoping the finals will reflect the same following trend: More and more women are in leadership positions in various fields that were once dominated by our male counterpart. Unfortunately, if there's one thing that the last presidential primaries taught us, the general population is not yet ready for a female leader. After all at the Senate level only, there have been 38 women in the United States holding that position since the establishment of that body in 1789. Women were first elected in number in 1922. Today, 17 of the 100 U.S. Senators are women. Thirteen of the women who have served were appointed; seven of those were appointed to succeed their deceased husbands.
At the State Government level, thirty-two women have served or are serving as the governor of a U.S. state
The first female governor was Nellie Tayloe Ross of Wyoming (which just so happened to be the first ever part of the US to have woman suffrage) who was elected on November 4, 1924 and sworn in on January 5, 1925. She was preceded in office by her late husband William B. Ross. The first female governor elected without being the wife or widow of a past state governor was Ella T. Grasso of Connecticut, elected in 1974 and sworn in on January 8, 1975. (Wikipedia, 2010)
     Top leadership female invasion is slow but certain. Having a veejay-jay does not amputate our left synapse.
A couple of weekends ago, I had the pleasure to watch one of my friends getting acknowledge for the completion of the hard labor she has put into her research, thus crowning her success with a Ph.D. in Biophysics: CONGRATS to Dr. A.N.!!, you're an example and model to many of us.
     I remember the day Carly Fiorina got "lynched" from HP, there was mourning in the feminist community as Carly was the most powerful women in business during that era. However, she did not let the 2005 missteps determine her future, on the contrary she redefined herself and is emerging today as a very strong candidate for the Senate seat in the state of California. It happens to the best of us--women --to make mistake, to make the wrong choices, to put the wrong priorities on top of the list, nevertheless, we're not blockheads, instead shrewd, intelligent and very capable beings. So what is it that you'd like to achieve? Improve your English proficiency? What about cutting down your soap opera time and pick up a book or a kindle [wink wink..]? Get that bachelor degree? What about getting enrolled in a school and start at least with one class at a time? Get your own business? What about quitting talking about it and just doing it? Don't let that knucklehead of significant other put you down, besides if he can't help you pursue your dreams, then he probably ain't good for you. Don't let those bad companions talk you out of it. Don't let that little cash trap hold you up, rather roll up your sleeves and keep on pressing. Are you in a place where you feel complaisant? Then it's time to re-orient and re-focus, set up a new goal, what about giving back to your community? Volunteer somewhere, mentor someone, give a hand to another. After all there is no greater pleasure than satisfaction when giving out rather than always receiving.

Stay Tuned, Stay Bold, Stay Beautiful
Tresor De Beaute

Monday, May 24, 2010

In Search of the One

      I will not pretend to detain the keys of wisdom on how to recognize the perfect one for you. One thing that I know for sure is that, the minute you lower your fundamental/core values in the name of "I can change him/her" or "nobody is perfect", you'll start the slow and painful death of your inner (wo)man, thus engaging yourself on the devastating road of unhappiness. Ladies, if a guy tells you "I'm not good for you" or "I'm a piece of garbage", don't say to yourself "awww..., how cute he is...", pick up your stuffs, wish him well and turn your heels in the opposite direction because he truly means it. He can say that confidently about himself because he's known himself better and longer than you did in the one month since you've met. Don't play God by trying to save him from himself. YOU CAN'T CHANGE HIM/HER.
     Before I get ahead of myself, let's tackle this question: "Who is the one?"
The one is that person whose qualities you laud every time you have an opportunity in public or in private, and whose weakness you acknowledge and help him/her improve.
The one is that person, you can see yourself as a woman being submissive to and as a man loving her to the point you can give your life for her.
The one is that person who cares about your welfare physically, mentally, intellectually, spiritually.
The one is that person whom you ask yourself: "How can I make him/her happy?"
The one is that person whose name puts a smile on your face when you see it displayed on your caller id.
The one is that person you can no longer imagine living your life without.
     Here is a mistake that most us make. We define the one by what s/he has instead of who s/he is. I remember a conversation I had w/ a friend and the list was like "must have at least a house...must make at least $75k/yr...must drive this kind of car...must possess this...must possess that..." Now my question is what if the person loses all that,  then what happens?
     True story: the first time he laid his eyes on her was at a party, he flashed, worked the ranks to win her. He flooded her closet with shoes, clothes and perfumes, filled her empty time with trips, loaded her wallet with cash. About 6 or so months into the relationship, her car got totaled in a crash, he took a loan in his name and bought her a new one, newer than his own. He left school to work more to help her pay for hers. She brought him to church, he loved God and loved her even more. Less than a year later, they were married, even had a child, then stress from life started piling on. Perfumes, clothes and shoes were getting scarce, car got repossessed, income had decreased, frustration and complaints had raised. Next, she had turned her back on him, crushed him by sleeping around, robbed him from his dignity.
     It is clear from the story above that we must review our priorities, do a self exam to diagnose who we are before we can get who we need. As I heard someone said, if you have a car issue, who do you go to? To the manufacturer right? If you have a laptop issue, who do you go to? The manufacturer right? At work when our app doesn't perform the way it's supposed, who do you turn to? The Developer Engineeer!! So if you have a person issue or "the one" issue, who should you go to? Yes, that's right, The Maker. Turn to the One who knows you well, inside out, The One who can read you even when nobody can figure you out. Some believe is Nobody, I believe is Somebody, Others believe is MOther Earth, I believe is Father God. Who do you believe it is?
     Therefore, as stated earlier, one thing you need to establish is a list of your own values that you would like to see in your mate and a list of your deal breakers. The latter should be easier, you must reduce it to a list of things you can't compromise on:  is s/he a drug addict? Is he an abuser? (physically, mentally, emotionally) Character wise: Is s/he loyal? Does s/he turn her/his back when things go south? If yes, Cut him/her loose b4 you say I do. What family values does s/he have? Does s/he despise your family members, doesn't show them respect? If yes, cut him/her loose before saying I do...The list can go on. The goal is to determine all those things that you can't stand, things that are undebatable on your territory.
     These are just guidelines, experts have studied and written about this matter for years, Bookstores have huge sections dedicated to the topic. However, the best teacher is experience. So, don't be a fool and repeat mistakes that others have already made. Learn from your own and learn from others, as the French say "A man forewarned is a man forearmed".
In the search of the one, trust your guts and trust your God.

Stay tuned, stay blessed, stay beautiful
Tresor de Beaute

Friday, May 7, 2010

What Would It Take For Us To Get It Right?

         I think God has a soft spot for women. He promised a child to Sarah in her old age, she laughed; He did nothing and still gave her the child. He promised a child to Zacharias in his old age, he laughed; He made him mute for about 9 months till the child was born. He also gave women the ability to smell a bad relationship at a distance. That ability is called intuition. Unfortunately our capability to ignore that hunch is way higher than to just follow it. Boy, would we avoid some unnecessary heartbreaks if could just be a little less stubborn. To illustrate my point, here are snippets of true stories:
     They've been long time friends, liked each other but never got involved until about adulthood. She was in bad shape, had just gotten out of a committed nightmarish misery, he was a good listener, a confident and a comforter to her. They made promises to each other, six months into the relationship she changed her mind, she wanted to date longer and postpone marriage. They got into long arguments, broke up at least twice [Now, let me say sthg about break ups, 95% of the time when you break up, it's because you've reached a dealbreaker point and when or if you decide to put the pieces back together, whatever caused the 1st breakup will not go away.], got back together to finally an totally break up again.
     They met through a family member, she was involved in a serious relationship and so was he. Two years later, they were both unattached, decided to get involved. Every time they were together, she had a hunch that something wasn't right, consequently she wasn't feeling free with him although she kept reassuring herself that she liked him, after all he seemed better and more promising than the other ones. Then one day as they were spending some quality time, his door bell rang with insistence and it was his ex-girlfriend. To her dismay, he announced her point blank that he had decided to get back with the ex.
     They met online, quickly got into sweet and kinky talks, calling each other baby, they were living in different cities. After 2-3 months of phone talks, she finally got to meet him first in his town. After two weeks of bliss and "unbliss" [the bliss had slipped away when she found out about his unhealthy eating habits, his dark moods, his stinginess], she was no longer sure he was or could be the one for her "he was so different from what he said he were, from what he said over the phone" and from what she had imagined him to be. Nevertheless, she hanged on to him. Three months had passed and he still hadn't made any effort to go visit her, on the fourth month after threats and ultimatums he finally traveled the distance, only for her to discover that he had other relationships going on.
     They met via a third party, she was visiting a friend and there he was. It wasn' t love at first sight nor was it lust at first sight. They got to know each other, even lived together. In the course of their dating, they'd have countless headless arguments and each one of them would end up with her feeling a little more empty about the relationship, then followed by one break up, then a smooth reconciliation and finally marriage that ended up a year later w/ him dragging his male engine up too close inside an undesirable v-jay-jay [if you know what I mean].
     In all these stories, the female protagonists would always report either a doubt, discomfort or some type of uneasiness about their relationship but each time they would convince themselves with slogans like “nobody is perfect” or “I can make do with it” or “I’m tired of looking, I’ll just stick with this one”.
Now I realize that “it’s not good for a man [or a woman] to be alone”. And at some point in our lives, we must all [at least most of us] find the “one”, hence open a door to disappointments, deception and the like. Nevertheless, ladies, because we think more with our heart and emotions, we must guard and protect them, then ensure that we unleash them only to the one who deserves it. For that, let's start by listening to that gut feeling.
     I guess at this point, our next topic will be: How can we know he’s the “one”? Is there such a thing as “the one”?

Stay tuned, stay blessed, stay beautiful
Tresor De Beaute

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Honest to God, What Would You Do?

     Has s.o ever done sthg to you or put you through such a dreadful, awful, sickly painful situation and powerful enough to shake your core beliefs?
You look at the person and you see horns on their head
You think of the person and your bowels get twisted
You recall back some of the canon moments between you and the person and you wonder if your imagination is playing tricks on your mind. Were they real or were they all playful acts to ensnare into trusting them, into letting them in and close to you?
When they prayed that God bless you, were they in fact cursing you under their breath?
When they kissed you good morning, did they wish you had died in your sleep at night?
You look at them and ask yourself "Who are they?" What happened, for them to become this monster?
Have they always been monsterish but you've been blind the whole time?
The act they committed against you stirred so much despise for them for life that you feel some shadenfreude anytime you hear about some of their misfortunes.
     Now, out of that dark place of flout, despite and contempt, you've nursed and licked your wounds til they healed, and into a place of smile, laugh, burst of joy and total happiness and then come this still small voice asking you to forgive, to really forgive. The voice's Author mirrors you in a negotiation position w/ you possessing and holding onto a little precious bag of gold, asking you to trade it against His big stash of gold. You can see the stash, a giant pile of shining preciousness and The Voice guarantees you it'll be yours if and only if you let go of your little bag. He says he'll also add to it peace, love and pure joy, he says he'll raise you up to heights you've never imagined. Meanwhile, you look at your bag, you know how hard you've worked to amass all that "fortune", to collect all pieces one by one, and now you should give it up? What do you do?
Do you just easily trust The Voice to keep his part of the bargain and give you that big pile?
Do you just easily forgive that person, the cause of your tumble?
That person who looked at you in the eyes and said I love you, you're like a sister/brother to me but yet consciously took the decision to dismantle you?
That person who offered you gift as a token of their appreciation for what you've done for them, but yet rubbing their hand with glee anticipating your downfall?
That person whom you never turned your back from for support, materially, financially, emotionally and more but yet skillfully prepared themselves to be a stumbling block for you? What do you do?
That person who never said "I'm sorry"? Honest to God, what do you do?
Whatever your answer or decision is, remember this:

"If we say that monsters [people who do terrible evil] are beyond forgiving, we give them a power they should never have...they are given the power to keep their evil alive in the hearts of those who suffered most. We give them power to condemn their victims to live forever with the hurting memory of their painful pasts. We give the monsters the last word."
Lewis B. Smedes - Forgive & Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don't Deserve
When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” Catherine Ponder
"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you."
Philip Yancey - The Unnatural Act (article, Christianity Today, April 8, 1991)

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Dear Readers

Dear Readers, 
First of all, I would like to apologize to my faithful readers. I took an unprecedented, though a much needed hiatus. Lots of great things have been happening to and around me and I hope to share with you some of them throughout my upcoming posts.

I would like to start with this image [they say a picture is worth a thousand words] and a recalibration of my stands which are better expressed through this alternate version of this poem from Carol Wimmer.

 When I say that 'I am a Christian,' I am not shouting that 'I am clean living.'
I'm whispering 'I was lost, but now I'm found and forgiven.'

When I say 'I am a Christian,' I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say 'I am a Christian,' I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say 'I am a Christian,' I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say 'I am a Christian,' I'm not claiming to be perfect.
My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.

When I say 'I am a Christian,' I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say 'I am a Christian,' I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner who received God's good grace, somehow!

Stay tuned as there is more to come.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Now That I had Light

Now that I had Light
Now that my sight had come back
I was horrified by the true state of the premises.
There was dust everywhere
On the table, on the shelves and the rest of the furniture
In the closet and even on some of my clothes
Although still beautiful
I hadn't realized how dirty everything had become
Cleaning was a priority
Sorting and ordering were on the agenda
Some Items had been moved
And needed to be put back in place
Other had spoiled and needed to be replaced
Some had been brought in
and needed to be brought back
Spiders had cobwebbed the cellar
Some Walls needed a fresh new  paint
Other needed some scrubbing and rinsing (repeat)
Redec imposed itself
Doubting my own ability to handle the task, I hired a professional
He suggested to knock down the upper west side of a wall
Wall on which I had carefully mounted a book shelf
Book Shelf full of my meticulously elaborated theories
Theories on life personal or otherwise
Collection of stories and short essays
They all were a trophy of my pride and accomplishments
Now I had to choose between keeping them or giving it a chance
A chance to the beautiful glass window that would replace them,
Thus opening a view on a beautiful and live green landscape
In the middle which a fountain will be flowing
How I had neglected and forgotten about such a beauty
I gave it a go and so went the wall
Along with my pride and trophies
It was as painful and scary as I thought it would be but
I had something better to look forward to
I trust my architect He had done this before too
Since then renovation have been undergoing

Monday, January 25, 2010

Who Needs Light?

Light had left
But I hadn't noticed cuz I had closed mine eyes
So I thought I could do without Light
For a while I did good, very good
I confused my groping around in the dark with self confidence
And I said who needs Light?
I had become used to the misshape of objects around me
Then one day, things started going in disarray
To my big dismay, I asked what went wrong in the play?
Wasn't everything under control?
This wasn't fun, this wasn't droll
I had to figure out a way, a mean to take the horns' bull
I succeeded
Again, I said who needs Light?
I had become used to the misshape of objects around me
Darkness had cast its light upon them
I used people and got used by people
Light had warned me of the demise to come
But I ignored it and again I said
Who needs Light?
The disaster was incommensurable
The aftermath nearly tragic
I used rationale
I used morale
I put on a mask of pride
An armor of invincibility
Hiding my wounds and scars
I knew I couldn't go on like this much longer
[I remember the days when things were different
Things were much simpler
What had happened?]
A friend shared his Light with me
But it wasn't enough to re-ignite my own
So another friend brought hers
Slowly but surely I could feel the warmth of my own Light
My wounds were healing
My sight was recovering
My zest was jolting
I didn't need Light anymore


Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The Magic Of Music

     Music has a very subtle way to control our mood. Some music may bring you down, other may lift up your spirit all depending of what circumstances you were in when you first heard it.
     The magic of music dates back from way before the birth of our Lord Jesus. Among the first kings of Israel, there was this guy, Saul (apparently during his last days he was possessed by some evil spirits that would disturb him) could only be calmed down by a certain sound played by young David.
     There are some songs [any old makossa from Ndedi Dibango, Francois Misse Ngoh, Tom Yom's, Charlotte Mbango, Grace/Ben Decca or Monique Seka] from my childhood, that regardless of what I'm doing, if I hear them, my lips will put to birth a big smile and if the normal conditions of temperature and pressure are united, I can even break into a dance: they are a reminder of my tiny young self, my innocence and naivety, hopefulness, carelessness and stupidity.
Brown Eyed Girl: As for my adult life, this is a song that every time the melody fills my ears and soul, my spirit jumps inside and a veil of nostalgia wraps itself around my mind spurring a multitude of memories. I remember I had just gotten introduced to Milton and his paradise in which I had gotten lost. The deep stentorian voice that had accompanied me in this journey succeeded to squeeze out of me an ode to poetry and the beauty of language. 
Imagine: John Lennon has been part of my existence for quite some time now. It's been over a decade and half since the first time I heard about him. It was in a documentary relating the sex revolution of 1960s, the rising of sects and the influence of Rock'n Roll. Of all his songs, this one is my favorite. It's unfortunate he left this earth so early. He was a visionary, a dreamer. He dreamed of a better world. However, the elegy that results from these lyrics embodies such a deep sense of melancholy that pushes you to either confront or contemplate whatever crisis you may be going through at the moment, simultaneously giving you a sense of satisfaction once the crisis has passed.
Ron Kenoly & Don Moen:  Don & Ron will remain forever among my favorite Praise and Worship singers. Any CD I've owned from those two, I can sing along all the songs on the tracks. They're so inspirational. They represent that banner of purity and sanctity  that we all used to long for during that  era when I believed that if there would be one person with faith left on earth when Jesus comes back, it'd be me. I still turn them on when I want and need to put my Jesus swagger on. They serve as a hideout in times of need, distress, joy and hope. They definitely keep me grounded.

That's the magic of music in my life, what about yours?

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

I Love You But I Can't Be With You

"I love you but I can't be with you"
I used to hear that a lot in soap operas, but never understood what it meant. How can you love, care about someone but can't get yourself to be with the person? Finally, one day I got hold of the meaning of that statement.

It is an excruciating pain that you must go through when taking the decision to turn the page over on a relationship especially when you still entertain feelings for the loved one. It's almost as if you have to separate yourself from your body and get into your avatar to accomplish things that you couldn't have from your own body. With your avatar on, your left brain takes control of the ship, makes decisions and follow them through. It commands your cerebral synapses and they must obey. It commands your mouth and it  must obey. It commands your heart and your heart...

I love you but I can't be with you
because my love for you brings me more pain and despair than refrain and repair

I love you but I can't be with you
Because my love can't be built on suspicions
Suspicions of unfaithfulness, suspicions of wayward ways

I love you but I can't be with you
Because my love fears of being hurt
And this fear is greater than the temptation to put my trust in you again

I love you but I can't be with you
Because love is a two way street, a four-legged table.

I love you but I can't be with you
Because you can't love me back the way I need to.

I love you but I can't be with you
Because you can't say you love me and not protect me
You can't say you love me and not stand for me.
You can't say you love me and not be loyal to me.

You want us to be friends? How is that supposed to work?
Friendship requires trustworthiness and loyalty.
Besides, isn't it an utopia to believe in a friendship after a relationship?
Could it be possible after some time?
They say time heals
How much time do you need? How much do I need?
How much time do we need?
Doesn't it depend of each one own immunity system?
And who knows, you may experience side effects different from mine.

I love you so dearly but it aches thinking about it, so guess what I did!
I moved on, I turned the page over and started a new chapter
I'm learning new materials now
The assignments are quite interesting
And the teacher couldn't be more exciting and engaging
Does s/he compare to you? In many ways, no, not quite.
But I've accepted it
As I believe in each one of us uniqueness

Besides, not all things or people are forever in our lives.
Some are meant to be there for long or extended periods of time.
Others are there with a limited warranty.

I know you understand
I know you agree
I love you but I can't be with you

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