Saturday, September 11, 2010

Don't Let Her/Him Turn You into Someone You Are NOT!!

- How is your wife doing?
- Who? She was a big mistake
- Sorry to hear that. How's your kid?
- With her and probably for the best.
- So she turned you into a dead-beat dad?
     I heard a story, a true story about a man. He had a decent job, was well respected in his community and he had the desire to get married. So he looked amongst his people from his church and his eyes caught the ones of a beautiful lady. She had been in church for a while, was known and admired from everybody. They didn't date for long, got married and had kids. Meanwhile, things around him started to unravel. People would call him and were told by the wife he wasn't home although he was there. She would sabotage him unbeknownst to him. Fights would rise in his congregation for no apparent reasons and people would complain about his wife, but to him she was the sweetest and greatest thing that ever happened to him. One day he came back home from work after another exhausting day and his wife warmly welcomed him, wearing lingerie, dragged him to their private quarters for some frolic exchange. Then she asked him to turn around for she had a surprise for him. At her signal he turned back and saw on his bed, at the exact place his wife was lying, a big snake. She had metamorphosed into a giant reptile. He only had time to jump through the window to save his life, leaving behind his house, his kids and his belongings. Did I mention he was a pastor?
     Many of us have similar experiences. People in our lives we hung with, we were attached to, we lived with or even married, who in the beginning were a source of a great joy, then turned out the be the biggest stumbling block on our path, causing us to shift our beliefs and our approach to life. To those I would like to say this: The best revenge is to reclaim who you are by not letting them turn into someone you are not. Don't let them turn you into a dead-beat dad/mom, don't let them turn you into a residual pot of resentment and negativity. After the initial stage of anger and disappointment, followed by pain and suffering, let your healing begin. Look at the whole experience as a gangrene that was just waiting to be removed, knowing and enjoying every bit of the better life you now have. Reclaim your life, become a better person, set yourself some new goals and reach them. Use your experience to help out others. Reclaim your personality and some more. How do you do this? Check out my post "2 Easy Steps to Total Self-Rediscovery".

     Now the question is: "how can I trust my future choice, when the first time around it burned me? To this, I only have one answer: Your Creator. You may be a skeptic, but how can you be skeptical about something you have not experienced? Give it a try and see for yourself. Maybe you're thinking, been there done that, where did that get me? Well, I can only ask this: When you were there doing that, did you have nudges? Were you sometimes uncomfortable, thinking maybe this is not the right thing to do or the right person? Were people around you warning you about your choice? If you answer is yes to any of these questions, then again give your Creator a try. Let him know what you think, what you want and in return He'll let you know what He thinks and what He wants, and finally you can make up your mind. Meanwhile, don't let him/her turn you into someone you are NOT!!

Stay Strong, Stay Blessed, Stay Beautiful
Tresor De Beaute


Anonymous said...

If you really believe at this story with a woman turning to a snake as it appears that means you need some mental help. Please do not take it personally.

Ms. Jessie said...

I don't think that you literaly meant that there was a snake on the bed, did you? Anyway,regarding your post. Been there, done that...and not proud of it. So yeah, I learned it the hard way but I got the memo. Only God matters. I just want to say I agree with you. Yes, our relationships and time will change us but as long as we remain rooted in Christ Jesus, we try to please Him FIRST everything will fall into places. It's also important to make sure that our closest relations share similar views on the importance of God in our life. Now, no matter what comes our way, I already decided that I'm gonna follow JESUS!And I know you'll Patricia!;)

Tresor De Beaute said...

More importantly is to have discernment, that ability to see beyond the obvious, beyond the carapace that we put on.

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