Monday, January 25, 2010

Who Needs Light?

Light had left
But I hadn't noticed cuz I had closed mine eyes
So I thought I could do without Light
For a while I did good, very good
I confused my groping around in the dark with self confidence
And I said who needs Light?
I had become used to the misshape of objects around me
Then one day, things started going in disarray
To my big dismay, I asked what went wrong in the play?
Wasn't everything under control?
This wasn't fun, this wasn't droll
I had to figure out a way, a mean to take the horns' bull
I succeeded
Again, I said who needs Light?
I had become used to the misshape of objects around me
Darkness had cast its light upon them
I used people and got used by people
Light had warned me of the demise to come
But I ignored it and again I said
Who needs Light?
The disaster was incommensurable
The aftermath nearly tragic
I used rationale
I used morale
I put on a mask of pride
An armor of invincibility
Hiding my wounds and scars
I knew I couldn't go on like this much longer
[I remember the days when things were different
Things were much simpler
What had happened?]
A friend shared his Light with me
But it wasn't enough to re-ignite my own
So another friend brought hers
Slowly but surely I could feel the warmth of my own Light
My wounds were healing
My sight was recovering
My zest was jolting
I didn't need Light anymore


Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The Magic Of Music

     Music has a very subtle way to control our mood. Some music may bring you down, other may lift up your spirit all depending of what circumstances you were in when you first heard it.
     The magic of music dates back from way before the birth of our Lord Jesus. Among the first kings of Israel, there was this guy, Saul (apparently during his last days he was possessed by some evil spirits that would disturb him) could only be calmed down by a certain sound played by young David.
     There are some songs [any old makossa from Ndedi Dibango, Francois Misse Ngoh, Tom Yom's, Charlotte Mbango, Grace/Ben Decca or Monique Seka] from my childhood, that regardless of what I'm doing, if I hear them, my lips will put to birth a big smile and if the normal conditions of temperature and pressure are united, I can even break into a dance: they are a reminder of my tiny young self, my innocence and naivety, hopefulness, carelessness and stupidity.
Brown Eyed Girl: As for my adult life, this is a song that every time the melody fills my ears and soul, my spirit jumps inside and a veil of nostalgia wraps itself around my mind spurring a multitude of memories. I remember I had just gotten introduced to Milton and his paradise in which I had gotten lost. The deep stentorian voice that had accompanied me in this journey succeeded to squeeze out of me an ode to poetry and the beauty of language. 
Imagine: John Lennon has been part of my existence for quite some time now. It's been over a decade and half since the first time I heard about him. It was in a documentary relating the sex revolution of 1960s, the rising of sects and the influence of Rock'n Roll. Of all his songs, this one is my favorite. It's unfortunate he left this earth so early. He was a visionary, a dreamer. He dreamed of a better world. However, the elegy that results from these lyrics embodies such a deep sense of melancholy that pushes you to either confront or contemplate whatever crisis you may be going through at the moment, simultaneously giving you a sense of satisfaction once the crisis has passed.
Ron Kenoly & Don Moen:  Don & Ron will remain forever among my favorite Praise and Worship singers. Any CD I've owned from those two, I can sing along all the songs on the tracks. They're so inspirational. They represent that banner of purity and sanctity  that we all used to long for during that  era when I believed that if there would be one person with faith left on earth when Jesus comes back, it'd be me. I still turn them on when I want and need to put my Jesus swagger on. They serve as a hideout in times of need, distress, joy and hope. They definitely keep me grounded.

That's the magic of music in my life, what about yours?

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

I Love You But I Can't Be With You

"I love you but I can't be with you"
I used to hear that a lot in soap operas, but never understood what it meant. How can you love, care about someone but can't get yourself to be with the person? Finally, one day I got hold of the meaning of that statement.

It is an excruciating pain that you must go through when taking the decision to turn the page over on a relationship especially when you still entertain feelings for the loved one. It's almost as if you have to separate yourself from your body and get into your avatar to accomplish things that you couldn't have from your own body. With your avatar on, your left brain takes control of the ship, makes decisions and follow them through. It commands your cerebral synapses and they must obey. It commands your mouth and it  must obey. It commands your heart and your heart...

I love you but I can't be with you
because my love for you brings me more pain and despair than refrain and repair

I love you but I can't be with you
Because my love can't be built on suspicions
Suspicions of unfaithfulness, suspicions of wayward ways

I love you but I can't be with you
Because my love fears of being hurt
And this fear is greater than the temptation to put my trust in you again

I love you but I can't be with you
Because love is a two way street, a four-legged table.

I love you but I can't be with you
Because you can't love me back the way I need to.

I love you but I can't be with you
Because you can't say you love me and not protect me
You can't say you love me and not stand for me.
You can't say you love me and not be loyal to me.

You want us to be friends? How is that supposed to work?
Friendship requires trustworthiness and loyalty.
Besides, isn't it an utopia to believe in a friendship after a relationship?
Could it be possible after some time?
They say time heals
How much time do you need? How much do I need?
How much time do we need?
Doesn't it depend of each one own immunity system?
And who knows, you may experience side effects different from mine.

I love you so dearly but it aches thinking about it, so guess what I did!
I moved on, I turned the page over and started a new chapter
I'm learning new materials now
The assignments are quite interesting
And the teacher couldn't be more exciting and engaging
Does s/he compare to you? In many ways, no, not quite.
But I've accepted it
As I believe in each one of us uniqueness

Besides, not all things or people are forever in our lives.
Some are meant to be there for long or extended periods of time.
Others are there with a limited warranty.

I know you understand
I know you agree
I love you but I can't be with you

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Kicking Off the New Year

To all of my readers and non readers, HAPPY NEW YEAR!! What's better than to kick off the new year with some humor!? I saw this pic on a friend's friend page and decided to steal it and share it with you.

Isn't it weird all the misconceptions we can have about other races, cultures or one another?

Ps: Apparently, Google got it fixed back in August 2009.

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