Thursday, March 17, 2011

Should you forgive and forget? Three Essential and Practical Principles For a Butterflying Life

     Not long ago, I had the pleasure to rekindle a friendship with a long lost acquaintance. After the glass was broken, the conversation immediately veered towards the bolt of our disconnection from each other. The subject of forgiveness  was incontrovertibly addressed. We stomped on the question of how to forgive and forget? As memories unrestlessly bring back forth the feeling of pain, betrayal and idiosyncrasy of our own being, the sensation or assurance of forgiveness are quickly dissipated. Thence, I came up with a well formulated theory which at times, extirpate my pats on my back.
  1. Forgiveness is progressive: It takes times. The decision to forgive must instant, but forgiveness itself is gradual. It's positive function of time. If I had to express it mathematical term, it would be: f(forgiveness)= pt +C(forgiveness)t where p = person (you as a person); t = time; C=Christ. The reason I introduce Christ is that, one can't really talk of forgiveness without going to the source. Same goes for Love, Joy, Hope, Happiness...all these necessary ingredients that make a tasteful and flavorful life.
  2. You can forgive but you can't forget: Even God does not allow us to forget our own sins, how are we supposed to do the same for others? Aren't we supposed to love our neighbor like ourselves? Not only that, the bible instructs to be simple like a dove but prudent like a snake. Affording the luxury to forget wrongdoings only condemns us to either repeat them or get ourselves ensnared once again into the same vicious circle.
  3. Still can't forgive? Think about this: the wrongdoer, by some miraculous means, repents and makes peace with God...maybe not with you, but certainly with God and God being God forgives him/her. Then Jesus decides to come back, takes the wrongdoer with Him and leaves you behind. Now my question is this: Why would you take the risk to jeopardize your salvation for some stupid act that a senseless person has committed against you?
     It's capital that we forgive. Unforgivingness does not hold a death sentence over the wrongdoer's head but does hold it over our own and force God to condemn us. Forgiveness, on the other hand, is the only digital fingerprint that the key of our liberation will recognize to unlock the door of our own captivity. Forgiveness is not a feeling, it's an act that starts with a decision. As Dr. Mike Murdock says, " ...Does Not Restore Trust. ...Is an Invitation To Rebuild Credibility. Therefore, don't sweat over it if the wrongdoer can no longer occupy the place that he or she once had. Just do your part, forgive and forgive verily then move on with your life.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Hair Journey: Just like Samson

     I often liken myself to Samson when I think about my hair journey. He was unmistakably very muscular with the most beautiful mane on his head and on top of his game when his heart interest, the apple of his eyes, decided to strike a deal with her peeps to subdue him. I'm/have been in no way as muscular as Samson. But my hair had been long, longer than the average length that my people usually carry until I decided to compromise it.
     Just like Samson, I delivered myself into the hands of my enemies by setting myself up to failure, thinking I'll be fine. Just like Samson, I happened to entrust the best of me to the worst around me.
How many of you know you're never fine when you do the exact opposite of what you know is right?
There are always precursive signs leading to the ultimate downfall. In this hair scenario, it was the use of abusive substance commonly called "creamy crack", followed by bad maintenance. How can one expect to maintain healthy hair when the washing, conditioning happens once a month? How can one expect to maintain long hair when the scalp is under constant stress from tight braiding and other forms of hairdo?
     The consequences of a betrayal, like the one Samson was victim of, can often lead into a state of hair and sight loss. In fact, the sight loss is just the permanent scar, the physical constant reminder of your ordeal whereas the hair loss is the direct effect of the acts of Judah.
     However, as time goes by, the strength that had left you, the hair you had lost, unbeknownst to you, starts growing back. And one day, you notice that the perfect TWA you were rocking now stands imperfectly on your head. The quick washes&gos are no longer that quick. Until you realize that something has changed, you can easily do a different style.

     Hence I was pleasantly surprised to see the length of my hair exactly 3 months after my second big chop. Just like Samson, the favor of the Lord has returned. He is looking again at me, you with mercy. Although we all know what was Samson fate, my own is still unfolding. And I'm feverishly anticipating the ultimate result.

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