Thursday, March 17, 2011

Should you forgive and forget? Three Essential and Practical Principles For a Butterflying Life

     Not long ago, I had the pleasure to rekindle a friendship with a long lost acquaintance. After the glass was broken, the conversation immediately veered towards the bolt of our disconnection from each other. The subject of forgiveness  was incontrovertibly addressed. We stomped on the question of how to forgive and forget? As memories unrestlessly bring back forth the feeling of pain, betrayal and idiosyncrasy of our own being, the sensation or assurance of forgiveness are quickly dissipated. Thence, I came up with a well formulated theory which at times, extirpate my pats on my back.
  1. Forgiveness is progressive: It takes times. The decision to forgive must instant, but forgiveness itself is gradual. It's positive function of time. If I had to express it mathematical term, it would be: f(forgiveness)= pt +C(forgiveness)t where p = person (you as a person); t = time; C=Christ. The reason I introduce Christ is that, one can't really talk of forgiveness without going to the source. Same goes for Love, Joy, Hope, Happiness...all these necessary ingredients that make a tasteful and flavorful life.
  2. You can forgive but you can't forget: Even God does not allow us to forget our own sins, how are we supposed to do the same for others? Aren't we supposed to love our neighbor like ourselves? Not only that, the bible instructs to be simple like a dove but prudent like a snake. Affording the luxury to forget wrongdoings only condemns us to either repeat them or get ourselves ensnared once again into the same vicious circle.
  3. Still can't forgive? Think about this: the wrongdoer, by some miraculous means, repents and makes peace with God...maybe not with you, but certainly with God and God being God forgives him/her. Then Jesus decides to come back, takes the wrongdoer with Him and leaves you behind. Now my question is this: Why would you take the risk to jeopardize your salvation for some stupid act that a senseless person has committed against you?
     It's capital that we forgive. Unforgivingness does not hold a death sentence over the wrongdoer's head but does hold it over our own and force God to condemn us. Forgiveness, on the other hand, is the only digital fingerprint that the key of our liberation will recognize to unlock the door of our own captivity. Forgiveness is not a feeling, it's an act that starts with a decision. As Dr. Mike Murdock says, " ...Does Not Restore Trust. ...Is an Invitation To Rebuild Credibility. Therefore, don't sweat over it if the wrongdoer can no longer occupy the place that he or she once had. Just do your part, forgive and forgive verily then move on with your life.

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