Wednesday, January 6, 2010

I Love You But I Can't Be With You

"I love you but I can't be with you"
I used to hear that a lot in soap operas, but never understood what it meant. How can you love, care about someone but can't get yourself to be with the person? Finally, one day I got hold of the meaning of that statement.

It is an excruciating pain that you must go through when taking the decision to turn the page over on a relationship especially when you still entertain feelings for the loved one. It's almost as if you have to separate yourself from your body and get into your avatar to accomplish things that you couldn't have from your own body. With your avatar on, your left brain takes control of the ship, makes decisions and follow them through. It commands your cerebral synapses and they must obey. It commands your mouth and it  must obey. It commands your heart and your heart...

I love you but I can't be with you
because my love for you brings me more pain and despair than refrain and repair

I love you but I can't be with you
Because my love can't be built on suspicions
Suspicions of unfaithfulness, suspicions of wayward ways

I love you but I can't be with you
Because my love fears of being hurt
And this fear is greater than the temptation to put my trust in you again

I love you but I can't be with you
Because love is a two way street, a four-legged table.

I love you but I can't be with you
Because you can't love me back the way I need to.

I love you but I can't be with you
Because you can't say you love me and not protect me
You can't say you love me and not stand for me.
You can't say you love me and not be loyal to me.

You want us to be friends? How is that supposed to work?
Friendship requires trustworthiness and loyalty.
Besides, isn't it an utopia to believe in a friendship after a relationship?
Could it be possible after some time?
They say time heals
How much time do you need? How much do I need?
How much time do we need?
Doesn't it depend of each one own immunity system?
And who knows, you may experience side effects different from mine.

I love you so dearly but it aches thinking about it, so guess what I did!
I moved on, I turned the page over and started a new chapter
I'm learning new materials now
The assignments are quite interesting
And the teacher couldn't be more exciting and engaging
Does s/he compare to you? In many ways, no, not quite.
But I've accepted it
As I believe in each one of us uniqueness

Besides, not all things or people are forever in our lives.
Some are meant to be there for long or extended periods of time.
Others are there with a limited warranty.

I know you understand
I know you agree
I love you but I can't be with you


Anonymous said...

This hurt

Me T

V said...

I absolutely love this post!!

Anonymous said...

Love is ironic, love is sweet, love is pain....

Anonymous said...

This is very true.... A lot of your blogs seem to relate to me, and to what I have been going through in a relationship. I like the part about the Avatar. I think I'm going to slip into mine....


Nubia said...

Thankyou. I hope you dont mind me using some of this and changing a few parts? All credit due to you, i've been looking for such words for ages to hrlp me find my own words and thoughts.

Anonymous said...

Wow. Today this post truly hit me. I and my partner of nearly seven years are each trying to move on but are finding it extremely difficult. What you wrote in your "I love you but" poem exposes the many reasons why I must leave my partner and move on. Unfortunately, finding the inner strength to do so is excruciating. Thank you for helping me realize that others go through exactly what I am experiencing, and therefore I believe that I can find the strength to leave just as many others have done before me.

Anonymous said...

Ahh, just loved the post. It seems not everything in this world is meant to make sense, at least not for everyone. My now ex boyfriend said ' I love you to bits but We can't be together'. In my mind I still can't make sense how if you love somebody, and they love you, you can't be together?!. The pain I feel every time I recall his phrase is excrutiating, and I still can't help but wonder... why? I guess your poem showsthat people have different reason to take these most strange decisions :(

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