Friday, May 7, 2010

What Would It Take For Us To Get It Right?

         I think God has a soft spot for women. He promised a child to Sarah in her old age, she laughed; He did nothing and still gave her the child. He promised a child to Zacharias in his old age, he laughed; He made him mute for about 9 months till the child was born. He also gave women the ability to smell a bad relationship at a distance. That ability is called intuition. Unfortunately our capability to ignore that hunch is way higher than to just follow it. Boy, would we avoid some unnecessary heartbreaks if could just be a little less stubborn. To illustrate my point, here are snippets of true stories:
     They've been long time friends, liked each other but never got involved until about adulthood. She was in bad shape, had just gotten out of a committed nightmarish misery, he was a good listener, a confident and a comforter to her. They made promises to each other, six months into the relationship she changed her mind, she wanted to date longer and postpone marriage. They got into long arguments, broke up at least twice [Now, let me say sthg about break ups, 95% of the time when you break up, it's because you've reached a dealbreaker point and when or if you decide to put the pieces back together, whatever caused the 1st breakup will not go away.], got back together to finally an totally break up again.
     They met through a family member, she was involved in a serious relationship and so was he. Two years later, they were both unattached, decided to get involved. Every time they were together, she had a hunch that something wasn't right, consequently she wasn't feeling free with him although she kept reassuring herself that she liked him, after all he seemed better and more promising than the other ones. Then one day as they were spending some quality time, his door bell rang with insistence and it was his ex-girlfriend. To her dismay, he announced her point blank that he had decided to get back with the ex.
     They met online, quickly got into sweet and kinky talks, calling each other baby, they were living in different cities. After 2-3 months of phone talks, she finally got to meet him first in his town. After two weeks of bliss and "unbliss" [the bliss had slipped away when she found out about his unhealthy eating habits, his dark moods, his stinginess], she was no longer sure he was or could be the one for her "he was so different from what he said he were, from what he said over the phone" and from what she had imagined him to be. Nevertheless, she hanged on to him. Three months had passed and he still hadn't made any effort to go visit her, on the fourth month after threats and ultimatums he finally traveled the distance, only for her to discover that he had other relationships going on.
     They met via a third party, she was visiting a friend and there he was. It wasn' t love at first sight nor was it lust at first sight. They got to know each other, even lived together. In the course of their dating, they'd have countless headless arguments and each one of them would end up with her feeling a little more empty about the relationship, then followed by one break up, then a smooth reconciliation and finally marriage that ended up a year later w/ him dragging his male engine up too close inside an undesirable v-jay-jay [if you know what I mean].
     In all these stories, the female protagonists would always report either a doubt, discomfort or some type of uneasiness about their relationship but each time they would convince themselves with slogans like “nobody is perfect” or “I can make do with it” or “I’m tired of looking, I’ll just stick with this one”.
Now I realize that “it’s not good for a man [or a woman] to be alone”. And at some point in our lives, we must all [at least most of us] find the “one”, hence open a door to disappointments, deception and the like. Nevertheless, ladies, because we think more with our heart and emotions, we must guard and protect them, then ensure that we unleash them only to the one who deserves it. For that, let's start by listening to that gut feeling.
     I guess at this point, our next topic will be: How can we know he’s the “one”? Is there such a thing as “the one”?

Stay tuned, stay blessed, stay beautiful
Tresor De Beaute

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Why are you so arrogant? why using words like "undesirable v-jay-jay"
to qualify a human being like you (I mean her organ) Why?

Anonymous said...

Maybe because that "undesirable v-jay-jay" was better than her and she is jealous.

Tresor De Beaute said...

@last two anonymous(es). It is clear that none of you have understood neither the formulaic expression "undesirable v-jay-jay" nor the context in which it was written. In those situation, all kinds of emotion can animate the "victim" but I seldom doubt that jealousy would be amongst them.

Irki said...

Saint Eve is complaining again! Why don't you ask the Snake whether Adam is the one? I heard he's as intuitive as you, no wonder you guys hang together since the very beginning!

Tresor De Beaute said...

@Irki, very dry and sarcastic, albeit duly noted. So what are you saying? The "One" doesn't exist?

Irki said...

First I really hate the implicit assumption behind the word "The one" that women like to use as if the were holy judges choosing in a basket of fresh and rotten fruit. So please clarify honestly what you understand by the one and I'd answer to your question whether "The one" exist.
Secondly, given you definition of "The one", who told you that it's the sine qua non condition for true love?
I promise I'm going to answer you question in no more that one sentence.

Prince Hamilton said...

Hahahaha, wonders shall never end. Those who wait for perfect partners miss good ones along the way and live in imperfect conditions most of their lives.

Anonymous said...

Why were you calling each others Baby first why ?

Tresor De Beaute said...

@ Anonymous "Why were they calling each other 'baby'"? lol, well those were bliss moments...i guess.

Anonymous said...

Are you guys still talking to each others ?

Anonymous said...

Please talk to me cute lady.

Tresor De Beaute said...

@Anonymous, I don't mind satisfying all your inquiries, however can you at least sign your name?
To answer your last question, I don't think they're still talking each though.

Anonymous said...

Ok I see. Why were you calling each other Baby so early in the relationship ?

Anonymous said...

were you not scare about online dating ?

Anonymous said...

I think if I sign da name you wont talk to me anymore.

Tresor De Beaute said...

I don't know why they were calling each other like that so early in the relationship. As for online dating, it definitely has its risks just like face-to-face relationships. With both types you run the risk to misperceive s.o. or misconceive s.o intentions. There are people who are very meek in the outside, but once you scratch them a little, you'll be surprised by what they've made of. So frankly, online or offline, each one of us needs the grace of God to meet s.o of our liking.

Tresor De Beaute said...

Oh, that means I know you and probably you're not very proud of our last encounter, thus the hid name??

Prince Hamilton said...

Whenever you give a tiger a finger, he will take a hand. You have started it, so just complete it. Tell the man. I have made it as a principle not to accept anonymous writers on my blog. That has worked well for me, for if I have to explain my whole life to anyone, they should be willing abd able to do same. You guys seem to pretty much know yourselves.

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