Friday, May 7, 2010
What Would It Take For Us To Get It Right?
They've been long time friends, liked each other but never got involved until about adulthood. She was in bad shape, had just gotten out of a committed nightmarish misery, he was a good listener, a confident and a comforter to her. They made promises to each other, six months into the relationship she changed her mind, she wanted to date longer and postpone marriage. They got into long arguments, broke up at least twice [Now, let me say sthg about break ups, 95% of the time when you break up, it's because you've reached a dealbreaker point and when or if you decide to put the pieces back together, whatever caused the 1st breakup will not go away.], got back together to finally an totally break up again.
They met through a family member, she was involved in a serious relationship and so was he. Two years later, they were both unattached, decided to get involved. Every time they were together, she had a hunch that something wasn't right, consequently she wasn't feeling free with him although she kept reassuring herself that she liked him, after all he seemed better and more promising than the other ones. Then one day as they were spending some quality time, his door bell rang with insistence and it was his ex-girlfriend. To her dismay, he announced her point blank that he had decided to get back with the ex.
They met online, quickly got into sweet and kinky talks, calling each other baby, they were living in different cities. After 2-3 months of phone talks, she finally got to meet him first in his town. After two weeks of bliss and "unbliss" [the bliss had slipped away when she found out about his unhealthy eating habits, his dark moods, his stinginess], she was no longer sure he was or could be the one for her "he was so different from what he said he were, from what he said over the phone" and from what she had imagined him to be. Nevertheless, she hanged on to him. Three months had passed and he still hadn't made any effort to go visit her, on the fourth month after threats and ultimatums he finally traveled the distance, only for her to discover that he had other relationships going on.
They met via a third party, she was visiting a friend and there he was. It wasn' t love at first sight nor was it lust at first sight. They got to know each other, even lived together. In the course of their dating, they'd have countless headless arguments and each one of them would end up with her feeling a little more empty about the relationship, then followed by one break up, then a smooth reconciliation and finally marriage that ended up a year later w/ him dragging his male engine up too close inside an undesirable v-jay-jay [if you know what I mean].
In all these stories, the female protagonists would always report either a doubt, discomfort or some type of uneasiness about their relationship but each time they would convince themselves with slogans like “nobody is perfect” or “I can make do with it” or “I’m tired of looking, I’ll just stick with this one”.
Now I realize that “it’s not good for a man [or a woman] to be alone”. And at some point in our lives, we must all [at least most of us] find the “one”, hence open a door to disappointments, deception and the like. Nevertheless, ladies, because we think more with our heart and emotions, we must guard and protect them, then ensure that we unleash them only to the one who deserves it. For that, let's start by listening to that gut feeling.
I guess at this point, our next topic will be: How can we know he’s the “one”? Is there such a thing as “the one”?
Stay tuned, stay blessed, stay beautiful
Tresor De Beaute
Posted by Tresor De Beaute at 3:11 PM