Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Honest to God, What Would You Do?

     Has s.o ever done sthg to you or put you through such a dreadful, awful, sickly painful situation and powerful enough to shake your core beliefs?
You look at the person and you see horns on their head
You think of the person and your bowels get twisted
You recall back some of the canon moments between you and the person and you wonder if your imagination is playing tricks on your mind. Were they real or were they all playful acts to ensnare into trusting them, into letting them in and close to you?
When they prayed that God bless you, were they in fact cursing you under their breath?
When they kissed you good morning, did they wish you had died in your sleep at night?
You look at them and ask yourself "Who are they?" What happened, for them to become this monster?
Have they always been monsterish but you've been blind the whole time?
The act they committed against you stirred so much despise for them for life that you feel some shadenfreude anytime you hear about some of their misfortunes.
     Now, out of that dark place of flout, despite and contempt, you've nursed and licked your wounds til they healed, and into a place of smile, laugh, burst of joy and total happiness and then come this still small voice asking you to forgive, to really forgive. The voice's Author mirrors you in a negotiation position w/ you possessing and holding onto a little precious bag of gold, asking you to trade it against His big stash of gold. You can see the stash, a giant pile of shining preciousness and The Voice guarantees you it'll be yours if and only if you let go of your little bag. He says he'll also add to it peace, love and pure joy, he says he'll raise you up to heights you've never imagined. Meanwhile, you look at your bag, you know how hard you've worked to amass all that "fortune", to collect all pieces one by one, and now you should give it up? What do you do?
Do you just easily trust The Voice to keep his part of the bargain and give you that big pile?
Do you just easily forgive that person, the cause of your tumble?
That person who looked at you in the eyes and said I love you, you're like a sister/brother to me but yet consciously took the decision to dismantle you?
That person who offered you gift as a token of their appreciation for what you've done for them, but yet rubbing their hand with glee anticipating your downfall?
That person whom you never turned your back from for support, materially, financially, emotionally and more but yet skillfully prepared themselves to be a stumbling block for you? What do you do?
That person who never said "I'm sorry"? Honest to God, what do you do?
Whatever your answer or decision is, remember this:

"If we say that monsters [people who do terrible evil] are beyond forgiving, we give them a power they should never have...they are given the power to keep their evil alive in the hearts of those who suffered most. We give them power to condemn their victims to live forever with the hurting memory of their painful pasts. We give the monsters the last word."
Lewis B. Smedes - Forgive & Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don't Deserve
When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” Catherine Ponder
"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you."
Philip Yancey - The Unnatural Act (article, Christianity Today, April 8, 1991)

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

"When we forgive evil we do not excuse it, we do not tolerate it, we do not smother it. We look the evil full in the face, call it what it is, let its horror shock and stun and enrage us, and only then do we forgive it."

Tresor De Beaute said...

Unless your name is Lewis B. Smedes, you should always give credit to the author(s) that you quote, and even more so when it's such powerful words.
Thanks.

Anonymous said...

I think forgiving is to show strenght to the face of weakness(revenge). Forgiving is healing oneself. Forgiving is the weapon of a spiritual mature soul. A.F. Is the way to go baby. Always so nice to read from you

Tresor De Beaute said...

Totally agree. And here is one I found quite appealing: "In a way, forgiving is only for the brave. It is for those people who are willing to confront their pain, accept themselves as permanently changed, and make difficult choices. Countless individuals are satisfied to go on resenting and hating people who wrong them. They stew in their own inner poisons and even contaminate those around them. Forgivers, on the other hand, are not content to be stuck in a quagmire. They reject the possibility that the rest of their lives will be determined by the unjust and injurious acts of another person."

Gordon Dalbey - Letter to the Editor, The Christian Century (November 20-7, 1991)

The last sentence of that quote is sthg that one must realize on their own. I'm a very proud person and as such it is inadmissible, unthinkable that my destiny can be in any way altered by a heinous act committed by someone.

Anonymous said...

Speaking about forgiveness,I hope you will not just talk the talk but also walk the walk and Forgive me one day A.F.

Tresor De Beaute said...

Honest to God :), I racked up my mind trying to figure out what A.F. stands for to no avail. I didn't know there was one more person on my list that I needed to forgive.

NB: Can you send me an email: patriciakengne@gmail.com, thanks.

Anonymous said...

I can not send you and email because I'm affraid you may curse. Anyway I'm glad there is nobody else to forgive.That mean I'm Ok. Now I need to ask God to forgive me as well. God bless your soul. Now on top of "Tresor de Beaute" you are "Coeur De Beaute". By the way A.F. stands for Anonymous Friend.

V- said...

I love this. After reading this I thought about the one person who has hurt me recently and found that a part of me has forgiven them, but I was still carrying my makeshift healing with me which was fueled by anger. Even though I have not gotten over the anger, this post has made me realize that forgiving them sets me free.. and that's what I need right now. In a way, he has changed my future forever, I have learnt the importance of trust and the depth of my love. And I appreciate these two qualities differently. God only knows where I will end up with him, but at this point I know I'm ready to stare at the ugliness of the hurt in the face and call it by its name and leave it where it is as I look forward to a different future.
Thanks!

Tresor De Beaute said...

Wow V, thanks for sharing. One mistake we often do is NOT to acknowledge whatever feeling we may have whether it's resentment, hatred, hurt, pain or the like then we think that by putting up our good Christian (or good values) mask, it'll all go away magically. The first step to any great achievement is acknowledgment. If this was one of those A.U meetings (as in Anonymous Unforgivers), before the beginning of the session, we would each state this : "My name is [put your own name here] and I'm an unforgiver". That's the first step to healing, that's the first step to deliverance, that's the first step to freedom.

Tresor De Beaute said...

To Anonymous aka A.F.One question: are these letters [D.M.] among your initials?

Anonymous said...

my name is Me T i,m an "unforgiver"! lol just joking.
Great topic Tresor, this is how someone put it.
..when you refuse to forgive, you are drinking a glass of poison hoping the unforgivable person will die...


Me T

Tresor De Beaute said...

Me T, Welcome back and thank you!!

Anonymous said...

Yep The great come back of Me T. Everybody was missed out here even the great Me T. Even though if I come to see you one day I will "appuyez ton cou" LOL ... just kidding we all speaking about forgiveness ...

Anonymous said...

NO I AINT D.M.
God Bless !

Anonymous said...

NO I AINT D.M.

God Bless

Irki said...

Mandela went to prison for 27 years. He came out and forgave his white torturers and hugged them but he divorced form Winny his wife because she couldn't wait that long.
Is Mandela a great man? He's my hero!
When somebody had access to the most intimate part of your soul, to your "saint of saint", hate or love are the only things left.
You'll give 1000 lashes, tear me apart and break my bones; crucify me to the vultures before burning me on a stake.
None of this would ever spoil my soul, the spring water of beliefs that run in my veins.
Which ever monster you are who has never got the key to my soul and drank in my source;
From that source I'd find the strength to forgive you.

Anonymous said...

I don't think it is so much about forgiving as it is about forgetting. I think if we truly search our souls, we are never really able to forgive someone for the crimes/hurts committed to us. We are able to suppress/forget these offenses in order to move forward.

M.G.

Tresor De Beaute said...

Forgiving vs. Forgetting is sthg I've mused over to find a true balance. I agree w/ the author of the quote below:

"Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future."

"Forgiveness has nothing to do with forgetting...A wounded person cannot--indeed, should not--think that a faded memory can provide an expiation of the past. To forgive, one must remember the past, put it into perspective, and move beyond it. Without remembrance, no wound can be transcended."

Beverly Flanigan - Forgiving The Unforgivable: Overcoming the Legacy of Intimate Wounds"

Tresor De Beaute said...

Thank you Irki!! Mandela indeed realized that he was carrying the healing of a whole on his shoulders and only a God trusting man could do what he did. Did you watch Invictus?

Anonymous said...

Anonymous, Glenn beck and rush L. i " de forgive you na ooooooooo"
Me T

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