Friday, April 17, 2009

Why are Divorces Always so Ugly?

Why are Divorces always so ugly? I mean, after all, these are two people who at one point in time professed their [(un)dying] love for one another, but here there are at each other throat. Could it be because one of the concerned parties can't get passed whatever "irreconcilable differences" there may be? Or could it be the desire for payback? Depending of what's driving a couple to divorce, there's always a loser in the whole ordeal, whether it's a loss of money, self-worthiness, or standards, you name it, there's always a loser. Personally, I do not believe in divorce (especially when kids are involved), however there are deal breakers that no matter what end of the stick you're holding, the relationship not only does not stand a chance, but isn't even worth trying to savage. If that's case, meaning, if from the get go a relationship is unsavageable, shouldn't the protagonists involved find a way to "work things out" in the goal of an "amicable" dissolution? I realize this could be difficult to achieve especially if one is trying to take advantage of the other.
Stats show that the divorce rate here in the U.S is about 50% and the number one reason of divorce here in the U.S is infidelity followed by finances. If there's one chance over two for a marriage to end up in dissolution, would we be better off getting married assuming, accepting, tolerating that our partner can cheat at any time but still decide to stay? I was discussing it with one of my dearest friends and the answer was that, may be we should. And I added, well it that's the case, why don't we ensure that our partner always carry on them a condom? At least that way, when it happens he or she, thus we are protected from any potential STDs. I guess we all agreed that was pushing it a little too far.


Prince Hamilton said...

People are too materialistic. Most of the fight is first about the money. Even those who pretend is for the kids is not true; it is because whoever happens to keep the kids will take money from the other person. All is about money. Ironically they fight in court and lose all the money to lawyers that by the time they reach a settlement they have nothing. Then the person who keeps the child or children will have to be bugging the other one about child support. If you knew you did not have the means to keep the children why fight for them. Why not leave them with the person who is able to feed them. I suppose that if you fight for kids you are able to take care of them and not count on the pockets of the other person.

Tresor De Beaute said...

I agree there are materialistic people out there. But I also believe, more than anything is the desire to see the other person (especially if s/he is at fault) pay for their misdeeds. I mean some people go the extreme and do stupid stuffs life crime of passion, whereas other go after the material. As far as kids are concerned, I totally agree with you: it's NEVER for the kids'sake.

Ms. Jessie said...

Unfortunately, divorce is rising even in our Christian community, in our conservative African continent. Why?Don't wanna start. I just know I'll pray even harder after making my choice. I feel as some ppl fail to realize that marriage is actually hard work (I heard it over and over again from married people). We rush "to put the ring on it" like being single was a curse. As I said, don't get me started...LoL I'll rather being single and lonely (everyone is at some point) than married and stressed out on a daily basis by someone else. Don't get me wrong. I believe in marriage...and purposeful singleness.

Tresor De Beaute said...

@Ms.Jessie, I most graciously encourage you in your "purposeful singleness". And you're right to pray even harder for your choice. Take care.

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