Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Is Motherhood for me?

With all the frenzy going around about Mother's Day and a recent conversation that I had with a friend telling me that I "needed to start having my kids" because, oh my gosh, I'm getting near the big three zero. It all made me think whether or not I was ready for kids or if I even wanted any. It was easier to answer the latter, "Do I want any kids?", at some point, yes I think. Now "am I ready for any?"
This is a capital point for me. Financially, yes I'm ready to have one kid or two, and even to face an eventual single motherhood. Emotionally? That's the million bucks question!! I'm such a conservative at heart that I've always thought, even til nowadays that, should/must I bring a child into this world, I'd better make sure s/he doesn't have a deadbeat dad. Now, the only way (at least in my book) to accomplish that is through the traditional way: find Mr. Right, or at least "Mr. Good Enough" as is advocating Lori Gottlieb. I had been in a serious relationship before, and it even got to the point where we talked about babies, until I chickened out right before I found out my then "Mr Right" was, hum...can't find the correct adjective, so let's just say I couldn't imagine him any longer being the father of my child or any of my children (I must admit, that was a very smart decision).

So here I am, soon closing the gap with the big three zero and I'm still zen, no worries. My friend Anita often jokes with me that's because my biological clock hasn't started ticking yet. Maybe she's right. It's not like I lack any incentives in my close circle, members of my family have had their babies in their early twenties, my own little sister has followed their paths. I suppose one day, I'll be a mother one way or another. But I totally disagree with the notion that "I need to start have a kid" because of my age. Push come to shove, and I never find Mr Right or Mr Good Enough for me and my potential child, then I'll adopt, and I'll adopt a white kid.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there!!


Prince Hamilton said...

Here you go again; spewing unrealistic talk. I have told you your clock is ticking and that is the truth. You know that I never say these things without having proofs I my hands. In my 20 years of being in the ministry I can tell you I have heard this from young women who made the same speech. Today they fall preys to chiselers in pastoral robes because they carry they failure to have babies on their heads for all to see.
The reason why you should think about having kids in your late 20s is also because of health reasons. Many physiological changes are taking place in your body. There is a time for everything; a time to be able to conceive and a time of inability.
The second reason is because of father entropy. Because the woman loses her physiognomy faster than the man having children a bit later adds impetus to that depreciation. More so as you can see; in July I will celebrate my 40th birthday but most of my female age mates cannot do the exercises that I do. They cannot run the same miles that I can. It might be a generalization but in terms of majority men are do not wax weaker with age the same way women do. That is even the reason why men should not marry a woman of their age. The man should always be older than the woman.
I find it worrisome that you have to mention the color you want to adopt. While you know that I encourage inter color marriages and will tell you to adopt any kid, I wonder why you specify the color. I personally will not adopt a child outside. My sisters or my wife would definitely have a child in the family and we will take the child and adopt the child.
Nonetheless, each of us has their choice to make. If your choice is not to have kids of your own then you have nothing to worry about your age and what time you get married. But have you thought if that is what the man wants?

Tresor De Beaute said...

I said white kid bcz everybody else is adopting a black kid from Africa. I guess we need a lil change, don't you think? There is nothing to find worrisome.

Irki said...

You might never find mister right, but a child is always right! Never mind the father, we left Stone Age a long time ago where they were indispensable to have them around...!Don't have any beast around to chase, I guess!don't you? Then go for the colt,it's faster I swear. And by the way, having babies sooner is another legacy of those age when life was just a spark, I mean just a breath. You live trice more nowadays, so why the fuss?
The last not the least: Turn the page about woman destiny in motherhood, you're mean to be happy; the two are not related, shake yourself up! Happiness over all and stick on it.

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