Is Motherhood for me?

With all the frenzy going around about Mother's Day and a recent conversation that I had with a friend telling me that I "needed to start having my kids" because, oh my gosh, I'm getting near the big three zero. It all made me think whether or not I was ready for kids or if I even wanted any. It was easier to answer the latter, "Do I want any kids?", at some point, yes I think. Now "am I ready for any?"
This is a capital point for me. Financially, yes I'm ready to have one kid or two, and even to face an eventual single motherhood. Emotionally? That's the million bucks question!! I'm such a conservative at heart that I've always thought, even til nowadays that, should/must I bring a child into this world, I'd better make sure s/he doesn't have a deadbeat dad. Now, the only way (at least in my book) to accomplish that is through the traditional way: find Mr. Right, or at least "Mr. Good Enough" as is advocating Lori Gottlieb. I had been in a serious relationship before, and it even got to the point where we talked about babies, until I chickened out right before I found out my then "Mr Right" was, hum...can't find the correct adjective, so let's just say I couldn't imagine him any longer being the father of my child or any of my children (I must admit, that was a very smart decision).

So here I am, soon closing the gap with the big three zero and I'm still zen, no worries. My friend Anita often jokes with me that's because my biological clock hasn't started ticking yet. Maybe she's right. It's not like I lack any incentives in my close circle, members of my family have had their babies in their early twenties, my own little sister has followed their paths. I suppose one day, I'll be a mother one way or another. But I totally disagree with the notion that "I need to start have a kid" because of my age. Push come to shove, and I never find Mr Right or Mr Good Enough for me and my potential child, then I'll adopt, and I'll adopt a white kid.


Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there!!

Why are Divorces Always so Ugly?

Why are Divorces always so ugly? I mean, after all, these are two people who at one point in time professed their [(un)dying] love for one another, but here there are at each other throat. Could it be because one of the concerned parties can't get passed whatever "irreconcilable differences" there may be? Or could it be the desire for payback? Depending of what's driving a couple to divorce, there's always a loser in the whole ordeal, whether it's a loss of money, self-worthiness, or standards, you name it, there's always a loser. Personally, I do not believe in divorce (especially when kids are involved), however there are deal breakers that no matter what end of the stick you're holding, the relationship not only does not stand a chance, but isn't even worth trying to savage. If that's case, meaning, if from the get go a relationship is unsavageable, shouldn't the protagonists involved find a way to "work things out" in the goal of an "amicable" dissolution? I realize this could be difficult to achieve especially if one is trying to take advantage of the other.
Stats show that the divorce rate here in the U.S is about 50% and the number one reason of divorce here in the U.S is infidelity followed by finances. If there's one chance over two for a marriage to end up in dissolution, would we be better off getting married assuming, accepting, tolerating that our partner can cheat at any time but still decide to stay? I was discussing it with one of my dearest friends and the answer was that, may be we should. And I added, well it that's the case, why don't we ensure that our partner always carry on them a condom? At least that way, when it happens he or she, thus we are protected from any potential STDs. I guess we all agreed that was pushing it a little too far.

We're in this love together

To you my brother that I love so much.
To you my sister that is so special to me.
To you my friend, where would I be without you?
And to you, the one and only one who completes me...
We're in this love together
We got the kind that lasts forever

I've been listening to

These are the new stuffs in the block, from my most favorite to the least, enjoy!! Very sexy song, ideal for strip tease session w/ your significant other:



A new beauty, with a voice similar to J-Hud, the next big thing, I bet!!

Fantaisies ...

She makes out with a Caucasian guy
She has a tattoo around her belly button
She's dating a tattooed guy
A very rich tattooed guy
She's riding in a convertible, meet a bunch of stupid guys and lifts her top up
She has a monthly appointment with her shrink
A bi-annual appointment with her dentist
She has a pair of Manolo Blahnik
And a designer bag
She's a Cover Girl

A Night in Town

The good thing about starting over, is that it gives you this urge to try new things, to get out of your comfort zone to "confront the world", so to speak. So in the spirit of "starting over", I've decided to become adventurous (to some extend). First it started w/ shopping. I went to Macy's and bought a $60.00 dress (sorry folks I know we're in a recession, however I could afford it and I mean I didn't put it on my credit card!!), then I went on to Nine West and I got myself a $100.00 purse!! (this shocks me!! I NEVER did this before!! Not that I never spent 100 bucks but not on a purse!!) followed by a $50.00 pair of pumps (gorgeous!!). And that was it for that day!! Then the other night, a friend and I went to dinner, along w/ two other people in an "upscale" restaurant. [Ok, little confession here, I didn't spend a dime!! (Good, right?)]. A Three-course meal, delicious lobster with crusty calamaris, scrumptious crab cakes on a bed of corn, gumbo soup w/ crackers and these were just appetizers!! Main course a mahi mahi made a la Shang Hai with sticky rice and tasty spinach!! hum hum, heaven on earth!! Desert, a delicate sumptuous cup of chocolate cake wet w/ some triple churned vanilla ice cream!! And that was my adventure. Life was indeed good, very good. Sometimes it's just good to start over, really start over and try new stuffs!!

Do you have TRUE FRIENDS?

I've been busy lately preparing myself to get into a new adventure of my own. Nevertheless, in between breaks, I afford the luxury at reading through articles and this particular one on friendship actually struck me, especially given the fact that my friend Prince Hamilton had already one of his own on the same subject.
I guess it all boils down to the quality of relationships we have. From a personal experience, a relationship becomes a lasting one if and only if both parties involved are getting any value out of it. I have a friend who has a friend for everything: one to go to shopping with, one to go party with, one to mourn and celebrate with, and one to ask advice from. (Now that I'm thinking about it, I wonder what category I fit in). The article I mention above, presents a new theory called "voluntary loneliness", according to which people choose to be lonely. The author gives an example of a neighbor who belongs to that category. And this is a different subject that I will not treat in this piece.
One thing that I thought was missing is the fact that true friendships are nurtured, nourished and balanced. It comes with loyalty and trust. It's not so much about the number of people that surrounds you, but about the quality of the relationship that ties you to each of those people. So, the question is, do you have true friends?