Are You [very] Happy?

The other day I discovered that I was very happy. Dr Watson, my leadership teacher made us take this online assessment with a requirement not to think too much about the answer, but to select exactly what was on our mind at that particular moment. And one of the question was, would consider yourself to be: a) very unhappy b) somewhat unhappy c) somewhat happy d) very happy.
This prompted me to check in an online dictionary the definition of happiness and according to dictionary.com happiness is the quality or state of being happy [please note that happy is defined as being delighted, pleased, or glad, as over a particular thing], and a second definition associates it to good fortune, pleasure, contentment or joy.
These attempts to define what qualifies someone as a happy person remain quite obscure in expressing exactly the embodiment of happiness. My own take on the subject would describe happiness as the homogeneous fusion, the chemical combustion between your mind, your spirit and soul that produces a scent of joy, laughter/smile and peace inside and outside your inner being. The key note in here is PEACE. Peace with God (for those who believe in him), peace with yourself and peace with the people surrounding you.
As I was asking myself why I do think I'm very happy, I started considering my life in a completely different angle. I tried to look beyond the obvious that are often cited as pinnacle of happiness: professional accomplishment(income), intellectual capacity (education/school), social ties (elite club or friends), filial relationship (family). I discovered that although i have no assets of my own, I have a roof over my head; although my car belongs to the bank, I have not had any worry about going and coming back from anywhere; although I'm not perfect, I'm surrounded by people that have truly accepted me for who I am and do not hesitate to tell me when I'm wrong; although I'm nearly perfect (yes you read it correctly, nearly perfect :) ) I recognized there's always room for improvement. I have reached a balance of understanding myself and accepting myself and the circumstances I could not change. For instance, it had taken me a long time, despite the excruciating evidences, to accept the fact that I now was a statistics among the millions failed, irreparable relationships . Today having crossed that bridge not only liberated me but empowered me into reinventing myself. I wake up in the morning with peace in my head and peace in my heart.
Happiness is about leading every battles thrown on our paths, celebrating all victories, mourning some losses and still staying true to ourselves, true to the values that we abide to.
So are you [very] happy?

Are you a Closeted Christian?

Are you a closeted Christian? Or have you become one? I remember back in the days about 10 to 15 years ago, a whole generation of us was boiling for the Lord. Preaching and proclaiming the name of the Lord, trying to be a model at home and in school til the extend one will be ashamed to say "I believe in God" if they hadn't passed their exams. We all belonged to a group called CLUC (Colleges Lycees et Universites pour Christ) -- Colleges, High schools and Universities for Christ. We would all volunteer either for singing, dancing or acting for the Glory of our God. We wouldn't hesitate to share the word with our fellow classmates. We were young, innocent and filled with an unqualifiable zeal. Over a decade later, some of us have changed or let their circumstances cloud and mask the beauty of who they are. We get married and divorced in or out of the yoke, we sleep around with other people's husbands, we consult charlatans to fight witchcraft, we call other people "unstable", we resort to doubtful means to get what we want, we put aside the notion of goodness and forgiveness to embrace revenge and Schadenfreude, we stop talking about God (oh my gosh what is s/he going to think of me!!) and start gossiping, we forge an acceptable image of ourselves that is pleasing to whomever doesn't question or dare rebuking us (oh, don't judge me!! You have no rights). We lie, we hide, we no longer speak the truth, how can we when have left that Truth evade us? We took our Christianity and put it in a closet. The amazing thing about all that is that, it's not too late to take it out, dust it off and wear it again. Yes there will be (there always is) people calling you all sorts of names: Jesus Freak, bible thumper...etc. But guess what, those same people wish they had an anchor to hold on to, some hope to cling on to. Natty, a friend of mine, was telling how much she loves job and God and doesn't hesitate to say so to her colleagues at work and of course some of them ridiculize her but yet they turn to her for prayer or advices when they need some.
It's difficult to live that pure life that the bible promotes, certainly impossible to put into practice some of the basics like forgiveness but God assures us that "He will make us walk on the path of righteousness for his name's sake", we just have to be willful. Are you a closeted [wo]man of God, it's time to come out of that closet and proclaim with me: "I'M A SEXY [WO]MAN OF GOD AND I KNOW IT!!"

Keep your zipper up and your legs crossed: Ramblings about Infidelity

I'm getting tired of reading those half stories about senators and governors unable to keep their pants zipped idem for those women who don't have enough self respect to cross their legs (geez those men are married!!). And what's this joke about resigning to "focus on their family"??
1st- Cheating isn't sexy at all, it's a big turn off
2nd - Cheating is like a packet of mixed nuts embodied in lies, deceit, duplicity, ruse, tricks and more lies, and it's not sexy at all. I remember this one, she was cheating on her man with her friends husband, the friend's name was erica and the husband Eric. So to prevent from spilling the beans by mistake, she made sure to change her friend to her middle name Caitlin in her email address book, that way when sending an email to Eric, the intellisense email feature would not pick up "Erica". But Karma being what it is, she got caught anyway...
3rd - Cheaters are Only repentant after they get caught, never before.
4th - if cheating is a deal breaker for you, you are free to divorce (even if you're a christian) -- pastors in church dislike talking about it but the fact of the matter is that the bible gives it as a leeway to get out of the covenant
5th - If a guy/gal cheats to get in a relationship with her/his partner in crime, it's just a matter of time before the perpetrator resumes back with their schemes. ex: he was married once, cheated on his wife, divorced, got remarried and this time around, the wife cheated on him. Karma, uh?
6th - It's not the act in itself, the intercourse with the "forbidden fruit" that bothers much the "cheatee", it's the lies and the trust that's broken that usually engenders the irreparable aka 'irreconcilable" differences.
7th- reconciliation (for those who seek one) is not impossible after that kind of destructive behavior, however it requires humility and lots and lots of love.
8th- Come on guys, keep those pants zipped, after all the hole is the same, isn't it?
Putting your reputation, job and health at risk, chasing after the same va-jayjay you have at home, I don't know if I should give it to you or decry your plain stupidity.

Paris: Once again

I couldn't finish my trip of the year without a stop to the city of love!! Paris, sans toi je serai pris!!
Yes, I love Paris, the multicultural and multiracial dynamics found in metros, trains and RERs, the unique fashion sense that animate French people, the peculiar architecture: an extreme amount of blocks and tons of concrete packed together that make Paris Paris, hum and above all the French cuisine. This was my second time (as an adult) being in the country of Sarko. I had to go back to that place where I had this delicious salade niçoise and of course the bread. There is this slimmest french bread usually used for sandwiches which at first sight seems like a teaser but it's so fulfilling that one piece is enough to hold you for the whole day. And this time around, I had the pleasure to visit the famous French museum: Le Louvre. It's funny how cold it can be in June over there I was freezing despite my oversize sweater (clearly it wasn't mine)!!
With the cultural diversity comes some tensions among the French that they need to resolve. For instance, the immigration ("Les Sans Papiers") issue, the government needs to pass some type of affirmative action that would garantee a fair l representation of its social diversity, reduce discrimation and bring value to the country as a whole. A problem that most immigrants face in that country is that it's quite difficult to find a job even after graduating from school unless you're in a specialized field like I.T. (where they have an acute need).
I've always had a little hard time rating the French on their level of kindness comparing to Americans. I mean Americans, they will hold the door for you (btw, I don't like when s.o waits for me at the door because it always makes me rush so I won't waste their time thus show some kind of insensitivity to their kindness), say thank you when you hold the elevator for them. Well, I had this little incident. I was heading to the metro/train/RERs (I can't never distinguish which is which) station with two suitcases, one carry on troller and my back pack. Now I got stuck at the "gate", the plastic (sometimes steel) double door with a scanner on the side that helps verify the metrotaker ticket validity. I had to figure out to pass through the door with all my luggages at once. So I had the brightest idea to ask for help. "Excuse-me...uh...Excusez-moi, bonjour...", head down my potential scapegoat passed by without a look in my direction, idem for the second and the third. With this rate of "success" I convinced myself that I was probably speaking too low (I've accused of that before!). I managed to speak louder and finally got the attention of an individual, I could see a little hesitation on his face "Bonjour, pouvez-vous m'aider avec un de mes bagages?" I asked "euh oui bien sur" he replied and picked up my carryon trolley, the smallest of all, lol. French are a little like us here in the States. They like having a good time under the sun, seated in their bistros or cafes, chatting with their friends and family while sipping a beverage. And just like we get in our cars and race through the highways, they bow their heads down and race through the metros.
I love traveling and as I read somewhere "le monde est comme un livre ceux qui ne voyagent pas n'en lisent qu'une page"---"The world is like a book and those who don't travel just read one page"
I'm already wondering where I would be next year, God's willing :).

Cameroon: 8 1/2 years later

It was an unqualified feeling that immersed me as soon as we landed at the Nsimaleng Airport. Despite the running AC, I could already feel the humidity in the air. The first few days after a complete sentiment of disconnection, did I start to truly appreciate the beauties, simplicities and changes of the country where I was born and I left almost 9yrs ago today. One shocking thing that I realized is that things don't change much over there. After almost a decade I found the woman (my "asso" as called in our slang) to whom I like buying cassava sticks (locally known as "bobolos") selling the same bobolos at the same spot in the market; idem for my asso of oranges and my asso of "taro" (some type of roots usually accompanied with the yellow soup hum...hum..good).
Here is in images the different places that reflect the culture of my home country Cameroon.

I saw friends and people from my old church, went to a hype club called the Maeva. On the right is our Michael Jackson impersonator.



As for the video below, it features a choreography based on a very popular song "On Attend l'enfant" (we're waiting for the baby) about a woman who tells her man she's pregnant (for over 15 months) in order for him to take care of her everyday by buying her a very well spiced charbroiled fish with a bottle of beer each day of the pregnancy (Doctor's prescription). Enjoy!!

Who's BAD?

I've been wanting to post an article about my recent trip overseas but procrastination got hold of me. However, today is a special day, a very sad day filled with deep sorrow. The King of Pop is no longer with us. Many of us born in the 80's already knew him before even knowing how to read or count. I'll leave out to the pundits to tell us about his life, success, fame and glory, and to each of one us the lessons to draw from this sudden death.
He was many things to many people. Below is embedded, in my opinion, one of the funniest video clip about the great MJ interpreted by the great Eddie Griffin.





A big thank you to P.O. for sharing this with me almost a year ago

Is Motherhood for me?

With all the frenzy going around about Mother's Day and a recent conversation that I had with a friend telling me that I "needed to start having my kids" because, oh my gosh, I'm getting near the big three zero. It all made me think whether or not I was ready for kids or if I even wanted any. It was easier to answer the latter, "Do I want any kids?", at some point, yes I think. Now "am I ready for any?"
This is a capital point for me. Financially, yes I'm ready to have one kid or two, and even to face an eventual single motherhood. Emotionally? That's the million bucks question!! I'm such a conservative at heart that I've always thought, even til nowadays that, should/must I bring a child into this world, I'd better make sure s/he doesn't have a deadbeat dad. Now, the only way (at least in my book) to accomplish that is through the traditional way: find Mr. Right, or at least "Mr. Good Enough" as is advocating Lori Gottlieb. I had been in a serious relationship before, and it even got to the point where we talked about babies, until I chickened out right before I found out my then "Mr Right" was, hum...can't find the correct adjective, so let's just say I couldn't imagine him any longer being the father of my child or any of my children (I must admit, that was a very smart decision).

So here I am, soon closing the gap with the big three zero and I'm still zen, no worries. My friend Anita often jokes with me that's because my biological clock hasn't started ticking yet. Maybe she's right. It's not like I lack any incentives in my close circle, members of my family have had their babies in their early twenties, my own little sister has followed their paths. I suppose one day, I'll be a mother one way or another. But I totally disagree with the notion that "I need to start have a kid" because of my age. Push come to shove, and I never find Mr Right or Mr Good Enough for me and my potential child, then I'll adopt, and I'll adopt a white kid.


Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there!!