Has Divorce become the Death Penalty of Adultery?

With the most recent divorce and back-into-the-dating-scene announcements by our beloved worship leader, multi Grammy awards winner Israel Houghton, once again Christendom must wipe in shame, justify in vain the failures of our leadership with cheap rhetoric such as:  nobody is perfect... let he who has not sinned cast the first stone... judge not..  at least he's owning up to it..so on and so forth..
Is it possible the grace of God that we so love to sing about is just not enough to keep us from making of ourselves a laughingstock? Can a couple really recover from violent turbulence such as adultery? Has divorce become the death penalty of a marriage following adultery?

No woman/man that has known the sting of a cheating partner would wish it on another human being. The nefarious consequences of adultery are innumerable with every cheatee's (the person that has been cheated on) post-adulterous symptoms leading to the following:

• lost of trust in the cheater
• lost of trust in self
• lost of trust in others

Usually with time, the last two are repairable but very scarcely is the first one. And this is my recommendation to address that first bullet. If you are a cheater but are remorseful and repentant of your behavior, and wonder how you "must" come clean to your spouse, then wonder no more: DO NOT confess to your spouse. Let me repeat, DO NOT CONFESS TO YOUR SPOUSE.
Before you jump on me about the importance of the "no secret" code, let me ask you some questions:

• What's the purpose of you telling your spouse if he/she has not found yet? 
• Is that to make you feel good or make her feel good?
• Is that for her/him to love you more or trust you more? 
• Is that to make her/him smile or cry? 
• What goals are you trying to reach?

Hear me well, should you confess your crime to someone? Yes, but not your spouse. Find your pastor, your mentor, a trusted friend who will not spill the beans. But if he/she finds out, you MUST COME CLEAN. And whoever you choose must hold you accountable.                                

I believe it is possible for a couple to reconcile and even enjoy a better marriage after adultery provided the following conditions are met:

1. The cheater and the cheatee are both FULLY committed to rebuilding their relationship.
2. Both are willing to put God first before everything else. What does that mean in this context?     a. That means doing what the bible says rather than what we feel at the moment. For instance, the cheatee will undoubtedly experience bouts of anger and resentment that will need to be expressed. 

In such situation, the cheatee must resolve to NEVER express that anger in the presence of the cheater. Doing so will result in the cheater being discouraged and any ounce of progress towards reconciliation will be scraped.

     b. it is important that the cheater and cheatee agreed on a godly couple they can call on to unload
awry things going within the marriage. Such a couple must be mature and able to keep confidential
information.

     3. the cheater ought to realize that the road to recovery will be very difficult and must make a lot of concessions. And of those concessions, transparency is the key: email passwords, phone records, expenses records must be shared voluntarily. Any wrong move can be misinterpreted as a recidivist action. The cheater must always be reassuring in his commitment and love, ready to acknowledge his stupidity and show regret. It will take time and effort for things to get back to normal.
   
    4. The cheatee must encourage intimacy and must be willing to hear hard truths like the reasons why the cheater has gone astray.
   
    5. Prayer and Fasting must be re-instated/reinforced within the couple. The couple must already be praying individually but also together to partner with the Holy Spirit to fight for their marriage and against any averse consequences of adultery.

Reality is that a couple that divorces after adultery, provided all of the above, is the result of a lack of
forgiveness. It's easier to move on to a new partner than holding onto the one we have using God's grace
- To resist the temptation to lash out at them
- To resit the temptation to remind the cheater of their wrongdoing
- Not to have to explain our every move
- Not to have to face the pain you caused in the eyes of your spouse.

And quite frankly, I've known unbelievers, non God-fearing people that have turned around their marriage and the wayward ways of one spouse. How much more triumphant could a Spirit-filled, God-fearing believer be in the face of such trial?

Miracles from Heaven --- A Review

If you're looking for an enjoyable family movie for this Easter weekend, look no further, 'Miracles
from Heaven' (MFH) has it! No violence, no cussing, no nudity..the perfect motion picture that would even make you jerf here and there.

Jennifer Garner performance is outstanding. She is fierce, believable and conveys the emotions of the scenes in a very convincing way. I got to admit this was a step up for Bishop Jakes, who is an exec producer, especially compared to some of his mediocre past ventures.
Garner or Mrs Beams portrays the faithful church going Sunday wife that has instilled the sense of God into her children but who is quick to doubt her faith, blame God and quit the church when things get tough. She is the everyday mom who's ready to lay down her life for her child. She's the mom who believes her child is perfect and deserves a perfect and happy life. That's why in the face of some well-meaning church people suggesting that her child illness may be caused by sin. Mrs. Beams barks and decides no to set her foot in the church ever again. However looked closely, were they so far off? Doesn't Jesus' answers to sick man, "See, you have been made well. Sin no more, lest a worse thing come upon you", suggest that sometimes, cause of our sickness could be our sins?

The movie asks difficult questions (e.g: why would such a loving God allows an innocent to be in pain, in sickness?) but shies away from answering them. However every mature believer should and must have a response to such question except for 'God is sovereign' aka 'I don't know'.
MFH is no 'War Room' nor 'Courageous', as a matter of fact there's only one instance where the name of Jesus is uttered and it's not even in the pastor's sermon nor the prayer moment. Was that intentional? This is a Jakes's movie, so let's drop the surprise act for we know that the Bishop doesn't want to scare away the crowds by flaunting to much Jesus on the Big screen. But Can we really preach the cross without the one that was crucified on it for our salvation? The one who came not to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved?

Did I mention that Queen Latifah has a cameo in it? I didn't understand her part. I mean, she's a good actress, such a waste of talent unless of course she agreed to play it pro-bono.

'Miracles from Heaven' is a feel good movie that any reasonable human being with a heart of flesh will enjoy. It gets my thumb up.

HAPPY EASTER and remember, Jesus is still the reason for the season!




---Tresorly Yours---
Tresor



Whatever people think of you will never change your destiny. However what you think of other people may change it.-- R.W.

Did I Kill My Dad?

     My dad passed away on March 20th , 2013 at 1:30pm EST. Daddy had been sick with but days before his passing, two things happen:
- I became marveled at a passage in the Scriptures i had read many times in the past and the first thought that crossed my mind was "I need to fast for 7 days ... for i need this thing that the Lord has given to his people". I nonchalantly started fasting. In fact it was a fast to explore if I could make it the whole seven days.
- then some days later, I had a very disturbing dream. The meaning was more frightening than the images I had seen. From that day on a knot formed in my stomach that i couldn't shake off. The interpretation was unmistakable: Daddy will not make it. At first, I shared the dream with one person who interpreted the same as I did. But I shook it off thinking "No, it can't be!" But the knot in my stomach persisted and dad pain grew worse by the day. I knew the hour was to prayer, I shared the prayer subject with our prayer partners folks. I was up at night at 3 or 4 am calling trusted friends for time in prayer. Even after all that, the knot didn't dissolve.
     Lastly, I called back home to instruct my dad on how to make peace with God. My biggest concern was that he'd make it to heaven. Although I knew He couldn't answer me back because of his excruciating pain, I asked that they put his phone over his ear so he could listen to my voice. All I heard was groaning, moaning and growling. I prayed fervently that he'll believe my message and address God in his heart.
Many years ago, Daddy had stepped in faith and confessed the Lord Jesus as his Lord and Savior but I also know that the lack of teaching had been detrimental to his spiritual journey thus bringing him back to square one. I didn't want to leave anything to chance. Therefore, I wanted to make sure the act of salvation had been set in stone in his heart.
On the day he breathed his last breath, I was sitting at my desk with the same knot in my stomach. And I heard the Holy Spirit say "Call your dad and tell him you love him". I immediately placed the phone call, requested to speak to dad. The moaning at that point was replaced with a heavy breathing and all i could say was "Daddy, it shall be well"...and ten to twenty minutes later, I got a phone call telling me he was no longer with us.
Had I taken my seven day fast seriously, would the outcome be different? Had I say "Daddy, I love you" as the Holy had clearly instructed, would it have made a difference? Has my sluggishness in promptly obeying God cost me my dad?

     Since then, I've been asking God to show me where dad is, in His Presence or away of His Presence? In heaven or in hell? Finally today (4/23/2013) I had a glimpse. For the first time since he passed away, I dreamed of my dad. We were sitting on a couch and he didn't seem happy to have been brought back to life. Does that mean he's so much enjoying the Presence of my Lord Jesus? Could it be that the Holy Spirit decided to put a rest to my quest? Or does the sadness I saw in the dream mean daddy is sad where he is? I'm asking for more. For I believe, if my God could show me before hand that Daddy wouldn't make it here on earth, He sure can show me if he made there in heaven.


Tresorly Yours
Tresor De Beaute
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

My Pastor Doesn't Understand Why I Don't Want to "get involved" in His Church

     My Pastor doesn't understand why I don't want to "get involved" in his church. 95% of his messages has been geared towards trying to get me "connected". It's as if he had readied another sermon but as soon
as he spotted me in the audience, he would switch and get a swing at me.

     My love story with my church started four years ago (in April) when I landed (scratch that) drove in my city of opportunity. I googled it and decided to visit it. The first service reminded me of the church from my old city, so I decided to come back a 2nd time, then a 3rd, and so forth til now. When I joined it, I really wanted to get engaged in some area but was unable to for the majority of programs conflicted with my academic classes in the MBA program. Then, expansion birthed in my Pastor's heart and the congregation moved to the newly renovated Gymnasium, that's when God stepped in and clearly deployed His expansions plans. Some party got very interested in the church property and made so much of a good offer that it couldn't be turned down. There we were, moving again but this time from our old location to a new one, much further away from my residence. Now by this time, I couldn't even entertain the idea to commit myself to any religious activism. I had experienced such a move of and was conscience of the presence of God in my life that I couldn't afford to be just to be. But from now on, every step ought to count towards advancing the Kingdom, building and leaving a legacy for the next generation to come. Singing in the choir, going to 

the youth meeting and participating in sporadic religious busyness as I had done in the past was no longer an option, nor enough, nor a fulfillment to my calling, or should say our calling?
     I married a crazy in love with God  kind of guy. His assignment and eventually our assignment in the Kingdom is beyond what I could ever imagine for myself. As a mentor once told me, your dream should make you cry if not, then it's not big enough. This assignment which is a dream of ours, makes me cry. The consciousness of the heaviness of the task obliges us to plead before God day and night, for His grace, Wisdom and Science. It goes without say that, a God assignment requires God's tools in character, commitment and strategy. Such a partnership leaves no place for church logrolling even for His name's sake. I have learned early in my walk before Him that it's always best to obey Him by doing what He'd ask from you rather than try to please by doing what you think He likes.
Disclosure: I have nothing against church activity, I believe it's a necessary platform for many to clearly identify their God purpose. However, I must point out, every impacter at some point had taken time away from the public to produce, then came back to present their chef d'oeuvre, may it be the performer, the scientist or men/women of God, the process is idem. Except, in the latter's case, that isolation from the public, imparts them with a dual role, one of  a receiver and a giver. As you receive from God, you can give out. They are stripped from the perpetual role of a herd follower. In addition, a lot of people who produce the work of the Lord are rarely found in church. I know of a couple, wonderful, filled of the Spirit whose hearts are totally committed to the cause of the Kingdom. They were involved in their church until one day, led by the Spirit they stopped and started focusing solely on the increasing and persistent voice they've been hearing for some time.
Clarification: to stop church activities does mean to stop fellowship. Fellowship after all is one of the main pillars of spiritual growth as instituted by the Apostles [Acts 2:42] and sadly, most times church activities or attendance doesn't imply fellowship.
In any case, my Pastor still doesn't understand why I don't want to "get involved" in his church.

What's your reason not to get involved in your church?

What Went Wrong? Find out N Make a U-Turn.

- Some years ago, during a casual conversation with a sister in Christ, she admitted that she was dating a  married guy whenever he would show up in town,  when he wasn't there, there was "nobody to even scratch her back." [end quote]

- Another sister in Christ, after sharing her marital woes with me, I asked her if her husband was a born-again christian? Her reply, he deceived me, i thought he was but found out later [after marrying him] he wasn't.

- "I have a very strong sexual appetite" confession of a christian believer when inquiring about rule participation at a swinger club.

- "Yes, I slept with her husband" another confession from a sister in Christ who was accused of adultery with her friend's husband while being married herself.

Such examples of drifting children of God are legion. They are not Pastors or Ministers of the Gospel but lay people who at one point in time where strong believers and even leaders in their community. What happened that the shift in their behavior makes them unrecognizable? What was the catalyzer?

Bill Johnson says that "No one is ever deceived except they first compromise." Opportunities to compromise always show up when we face a difficult situation and instead of trusting God's timing or God's promise, we take the matter into our own hands.
 - We want a husband, we want a wife, but there is no viable prospect, therefore we hang out with people we wouldn't and end up marrying people we shouldn't.
 - We want kids but there's no husband, therefore we settle to have at least our kids (the natural way).
 - We crave so much for more money that we conceive ill projects to overflow our wallet with cash like opening a subscription paying porn web site (an idea once suggested by a born again, water baptized believer. We laughed off the idea at the time. But a brief minute of reflection made wonder how we even got to that point.

Whatever the scenario, we end up finding ourselves in less than desirable situations, wondering if God still care,s or adjusting ourselves and trying to make the best out of them. One thing we must realize though, is that He is patiently waiting for our return to our first love, hanging on his arm is a robe he had prepared just for us, a robe of grace, a robe of mercy, a robe of celebration. He is waiting for us to get back into a co-laboring role where we would no longer take decisions on our own then invite Him to bless them, but instead welcome His input, and trust that His instructions and timing are the best for our lives. How do we do that? 

1- Repent. That was our Lord's first sermon over 2000 years ago and it is as relevant today as it was then: Repent, for the kingdom of God is at hand. God is still in the restoration business but his job can only begins when we decide to purchase his services.
2- Tell the Lord that you're willing to listen to Him, remind Him of his promise to change your heart and give you one that can keep his instructions and obey Him diligently*.

You may not identify yourself with any of the scenarios above but you're finding yourself in place where you've lost your connection to your heavenly Father and are longing to get it back.

Heavenly Father,
I'm so sorry for all the wrong I've done. I'm sorry for my rebellion against You. Please forgive me. Change my heart and give me one that can keep your precepts and delight in your Word. In Jesus' name I've prayed. Amen!

*[Ezech 36:26-27]

Tresorly Yours,
Tresor De Beaute.

2013 - Weight Loss-The New Diet

I never start my new year resolution on the first day of the new year, always a month or two before.
This way, by the time new year starts I'm already well-established in my new routine and more focused to reach my goals.
New year resolution 2013, I decided to lose some weight that I packed on the last two years. Hence, I came up with the perfect diet plan. I know it's perfect because today, December 31st 2012, I just lost exactly one third of that weight. When it comes to weight loss, I only got one motivation: I used to be lighter and loved the way it felt and I want that feeling back!
If it is not clear, I'm referring to weight in dollars not in pounds!
Although my motivation steers more from a personal satisfaction, I've gathered biblical precepts to give us a good grasp on why it is important to our Lord for us to be debt free:

1.  Being debt free frees us to love one another: Owe no one except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law. [Rom 13:8]. As my mentor says, No one admires the one they owe (Dr. MM), may it be an individual or an institution. 
2. Evil men borrow but do not repay their debt [Ps 37:21]. Evil can also be as subtle and less obvious as not paying back what we owe. I sure don't want to be an evil person at the eyes of the Lord.
3. Being debt free, restores our trust unto the Lord: Every time we take on debt, we basically tell the Lord that we do not trust his providence, therefore we take the matter onto our own hands.

Although Debt is not a sin, it's a weight (David Oyedepo). Moreover, the borrower is a servant to the lender [Prov22:7]. And if there's one who qualifies for my servant-hood, it's nobody else but my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 

Now the question is How do we lose weight? How do we get out of debt? The first logical answer is: by paying it off.  When the widow came to Elisha, he told her "Go sell the oil and pay your debt" [2Kg 4:7]. 

1. Each paycheck, I set aside 10% amount, the tithe which represents God's part of my income. It's a way for me to Honor Him with and tell Him Thank you for everything in my life: the air I breathe, my family, our health, our well-being, our income,  our ministry, the enjoyments of life...everything.
2. Then, I attack the credit card with the lowest amount owed. Since my goal is to pay it off in one year (you can set yours to six months or less), I divide the total by 24 (for an average of 24 paychecks) to see how much will be required per paycheck to reach my goal.
3. I ask the Holy Spirit, determination to stay on target, wisdom on how to get through and make it, and peace for to each day its burden so I will not carry yesterday load onto the present.
4. I reward myself: I don't spend what I do not have but I open the credit card account and enjoy the shrinking balance.

That's my diet, I've tried it and it works. Let me know of a successful diet of your own.

Happy New [Resolution] Year 2013!!

Tresorly Yours,

Tresor De Beaute

Shouting the blessings of the Lord--Part II: A Detailed Account of My Laid Off

  Before I get into my mold breaking, I would like to expand a little bit on the necessity of shouting your blessing:
 - First, you bring honor to God by recognizing Him as the author, the One who made it possible, for every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights*. Tell him Thanks if you have an income while unemployment is at all time high 8%. Tell Him thanks if you have a roof over your head and are current on my mortgage while your neighbor just foreclosed. Tell Him Thanks if you haven't set your foot inside a hospital building. Tell Him thanks! if you haven't been involved in an accident. Tell Him thanks, thanks and thanks!
 - Second, you open the door to more, and to success. As my mentor, Dr Mike Murdock, says "The Thankful always succeed".

     Now my mold breaking. It all started in January after two series of prayer and fasting, one launched by our prayer group and the other a 21-day fasting and prayer launched by our church. I came out of that refreshed, ready to tackle the year with a new attitude.  I had a solid plan: finish my MBA (it was my last semester) then look for another job, finally pour myself into one or two personal projects.
     The 2nd week of February 2012, the hammer fell. I got axed. Along with at least four hundred people, we were shown the door, holding in our hands our little goodbye package. It wasn't a pink slip, rather a white envelope. I had a class presentation in the evening and was wondering if I'd be able to keep my cool.
Sadness set in and lasted for the entire week-end and nobody could get me out of it. Then panic took hold of me, how would I pay for my bills? when will I find another job? How long will it take me? Where will it be?
When I caught myself worrying about all that, I wondered how I could worry about a tomorrow that's never guaranteed? That's how panic left. Nevertheless, I frantically applied for jobs everywhere and anywhere I could. Surprisingly, nothing panned out although I'm in a field with the rate of unemployment of less than 4% and a specialty very in demand.

      As I spent spring break out of town, I attended a Sunday service where a mighty man of God ministered. It's only then that the Lord spoke to me and told me that I must fast for my job. So I took a 4-day fast on water only, coupled with prayer nights and the Word. By then, we were in mid April, with graduation approaching, I kept begging the Lord that I needed a job that I could start right after I'd done with school. However, this time around it was no longer with panic but peace in my heart.
     One Sunday morning, at my home church a guest Pastor, Bishop Williams preached on "getting back everything that we lost" based on I Sam 30. As he was preaching, I was stirred to give. But I had no money and Offering time had already passed. The Holy Spirit reminded me of $100.00 (one hundred dollars) I had hidden in my purse. The money wasn't mine, someone had given it to me to remit it to someone else. So the Holy Spirit said: "give it now, you can replace it." Although the service had already ended, I put the offering in the envelope.
     The week that followed, I got a phone call from a recruiter for an opportunity I had applied for unsuccessfully a while ago. I passed the phone interview with flying colors and got called for a face2 face interview. When I got there, the hiring manager said this was just a chance for me to ask any questions I may have and that the job was mine if I wanted to. There was no interview, just a tour visit.
On my way back, I got a phone call from the company making an offer with the exact salary I've always claimed I'd be making by age 30 + 10% bonus, which altogether amounts to a 40% increase.
     I don't consider myself the most learned or even an expert in my field despite my experience, but the Wisdom of God says, The race is not to the swift nor the battle to the strong**. And it also says "Obey me, and I will be your God and you will be my people. Walk in obedience to all I command you, that it may go well with you." ***
     Walking in obedience to the Lord calls upon his blessings, when you do your part God has no choice but to do His. I hope this little account of my blessing is giving you hope and courage to keep moving forward with your faith. Or maybe it's an interpellation to get right with the Right One. If so, just talk to Jesus like you would any person, tell Him about what you're going through, even if you have doubts (the first disciples had doubts but He still welcomed them****). He's been waiting for you.

*[James1:17] 
** [Eccl9:11]
***[Jer7:23]
****[Matt28:16]

Shouting the Blessings of the Lord

Raised in a culture of suspicions, witchcraft and rumors of witchcraft, Cameroonians, and most Africans, are skeptical of any good thing that comes their way, or that happens to others. These suspicions have crippled them from their ability to fully rejoice or proclaim the bountiness in their lives or the lives of others.
Call a fellow Cameroonian [African] today and ask them how they're doing. Undubitably you'll get a variation one of the following answers: - "ha, a de massa"...a broken english form to say "here I am"...
- "na you see how?"...an insinuous way to say "look at me, how do you think I'm doing?"
- "we're pushing"...to say "it's hard but we're trying to move fwd"

Things get worse when dealing with things like pregnancies, trips or else. In Cameroon, when you're pregnant, you never shout it over the top of a roof, any roof, even yours. I got reminded of that when last year, one of my sisters got pregnant with her first child and it was only a few months from birth that I got awared of it. Indignant over being "left out of the loop", I called my mom just to hear her say that "you know here we don't talk about this kind of things, people just notice [the change when the belly comes out]. It's because you're far away that she even told you".

In Cameroon and most African countries, after high school, you may have either an opportunity to travel abroad for your college studies or get into a reputable local school. The former is more prestigious, as it's not everyone who can afford to travel or even get a visa. I remember
twelve years ago, a bunch of us from my high school promotion had the opportunity to go abroad. Some to Germany, France, The Netherlands or the US. It was on the day of our departure (or the eve at best) that we informed our friends of our plans. It didn't matter if we were best friends, close friends or mere friends. When it came to unveil our grand travelling ambition, every soul became a potential hindrance to our initiative. we couldn't afford to leave any end loosed. Your BFF could be or become your BEF (Best Enemy Forever) or else.

This true story happened a long time ago in Cameroon. A girl, that I'll call Mina, was making the rounds to say goodbye to her friends as she was about to depart the next day to Europe. When she got to Gayle's her best friend, (they had grown up together, went to school together, studied together, celebrated each other birthdays), Gayle became very sad . They cried, lamented and promised each other never to forget about the other. Gayle then suggested they shared a last meal. She went out and bought some bread with chocolate cream inside, broke in half and gave the other piece to her departing friend. They ate, laughed together wished each other good things. Later in the evening, Mina started complaining about stomaches, a few hours later she was dead. it was discovered that she had rat poison in her system. Further investifation led to Gayle who confessed that she didn't want to stay behind alone for her best friend was leaving her. 

Just a couple of months ago, my godmother came from Cameroon to visit the US for the very first time. As her return got close, she packed half her luggages with gifts for people from her church, her work place and other acquaintances. To some she brought shoes, to others purses, or
cologne or clothes. To her bewilderment, the very same people who received gifts from her, spewed in her back  "who does she think she is...going to USA for vacation and coming back?"..."She has it all, doesn't she? plulizzz..."

I supposed my immersement in the American culture has made me lose sight of what my African inheritage has bequeathed upon me. Blessings are not supposed to be discussed out loud. When something good happens, it must be kept a secret in fear that a malevolent soul would jeopardize it. One can't truly celebrate their life in the fear that some evil soul will spoil that for them. They're forced to develop a false sense of humility because them fear people may misinterpret them as showing off.

As I pondered on this topic, Shouting The Blessings of The Lord, I poured myself in the Psalms of David and got struck by his approach. He didn't hold back in proclaiming high and loud what the Lord had done for Him and through him. Repeatedly I encountered:
[Ps9:1-2] 1 I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart;
    I will tell of all your wonderful deeds.
2 I will be glad and rejoice in you;
    I will sing the praises of your name, O Most High.
Then he goes on describing exactly how the Lord has blessed and delivered him.

David as a warrior, did have many enemies but it didn't keep him from shouting, dancing, praising, proclaiming, cheering what the great deeds of the God of Israel!

The other day as I was cruising FB, i came across the page of a church member and was surprised to see written on the wall from different people "Congratulations! You'll make great parents!". I was puzzled and wondered when they got pregnant and gave birth. Came to find out the bun was still in the oven and the lady wasn't even showing yet!

Africans can learn from their fellow Americans. Our attitude has done us more harm than good. It has robbed us from recognizing a blessing when it shows up at our door, incapacitated us to express gratitude, cheated us from more bounty, made God a recipient of our indifference,
thanklessness, rudeness and ungratefulness. And being a Christian has not made us less victims of this viciousness.

Therefore, I decided to break the mold and follow David's footsteps. Stay tuned for part II.

Tresorly Yours,
TDB


-- My Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/TresorDeBeaute

Resolution 2012: Get Rid of Foolishness

     For this first post of 2012, I thought of doing a year in review but what the heck, who needs another year in review or me blabbing about my spectacular accomplishments? Instead, I elected to share a significant experience which I hope will be of help to some.
     She's my second mom. Eleven years ago, I immigrated in this country. I had come to go to school which I completed with a Bachelor of Science in Computer Science. This achievement would not have taken place, has it not been for her and her family. A little background: Our families had been in each other lives for some years since back home in Cameroon. We lived in the same city, same neighborhood, same street.
So when my parents decided to send me overseas, they were the rightful choice. From day one, she was on me and with me. I needed to change school, there we were going up down between my new school and immigration. I needed to buy a car, my very first car, there we were at the city auction, she picked my first car: 600.00 it cost, good'ol days. I needed a new SSN, there we were between school and the SSN office. I needed a place where I could braid hair to make some money, she landed me her living room. First day of school, there she was, first ride to school. Now, all this for FREE. A side note: Americans like a the word "FREE" although nothing is ever free. But in my case, it truly was. A roof over my head: free, a meal at noon and a meal in the evening: free. Although, later on while staying with her and family, I had learned that there had been some discontentment from the beginning about my presence, this went for about 18 months til the time to part our ways came. And what did I do? I left her a goodbye, good luck note. The kind that says, thanks for everything although at times you were a biyotch. You get the picture. Foolish me took everything for granted. I had this presumptuous idea that nobody can't change or alter the perfect plans that God had/has for me. Even though I still believe it to be true, it is also of the utmost importance to acknowledge and honor those that God has put on your path for success. My mentor, Dr Mike Murdock always says, if you fail in your life it will be because of someone you chose to dishonor. If you succeed in your life, it will be because of someone you chose to honor. Needless to say this first act of dishonor and foolishness did not wait to birth its fruits some years later down the road.
Year 2003: One of my good friend immigrates here in the U.S. I helped her with the school paperwork, pretty much with everything that I mentioned above. I'm of those who believe that you should spread your blessings around. I welcomed her with the same amenities for a year, free food, free roof ...etc. It took her four years to finally show her true colors. What followed is a gruesome story that will be featured in a different post. It was nothing short of a perfect transcript straight from a soap opera. Needless to say, we're no longer on speaking terms since 2008 and I doubt we'll ever be.
     So back to year 2011, as I was reaching some milestones, I realized it was important to learn from the past. Most people in general, think they've learned from their mistakes but in actually take no step to prevent themselves to repeat them. And there are actions that unquestionably bring about curse on us or put us in danger of the fire of hell*, and one of them is dishonor. Jesus Himself tells us that "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift" . Whenever you see a statement that starts with "Therefore", you must find out why is there for (Bill Johnson). So before he gets to the "Therefore", He says "And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell."
     So many of us Christians constantly live in the danger of the fire of hell without even knowing it, or knowing and choosing to believe that grace "covers" it all. Although The Master has clearly established ways how to escape it. Moreover, Jesus was teaching this to his disciples not unbelievers! (May he who has ears, let him hear!). In the light of that awakening, I took my courage to call my second mom, whom I had been estranged for about nine years, and ask for her forgiveness, which she gracefully granted me. I took upon myself to honor her anyhow I can for I strongly believe that Honor qualifies you to enter any future God has designed for you (Dr Mike Murdock).

*[Matt5:22-23]

Tresorly Yours,
Tresor De Beaute 

A Balanced Life: Good Food, Good Friends, Good Sex

     I went for my annual the other day and was surprised to see that I've gained 6 pounds since last year during my last visit. I still wear the same size of clothes and my diet has not changed much. This got me to think: what is that I've done differently? What changed? What were the factors?
     Looking back, I can easily connect the dots and answers these questions with no ambiguity. I got to see my whole family this year: dad, mom, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, nephews, in-laws...everybody. One of the best occasions allowed me to gather with friends that I hadn't seen in over a decade.
     As for the food, like I mentioned earlier, my regimen has not changed much if at all. I don't drink, unless it's red wine much less than a full glass and during a special circumstance; i don't smoke, nor do drugs. However, one of the best foods I've been eating, it really surpasses my broiled fresh tilapia, is the Word of God. I've started this year with the challenge of reading the Bible in its entirety. So far, I've read the New Testament 3 times, still going through the OT, I'm re-reading the books of Solomon before attacking the prophets. One phenomenon I noticed is that, I just want more of God in my life, every aspect of it. For instance, not too long ago I had been struggling with unforgiveness, but every time I read the Gospels, I'm just confounded by Christ's love for us and I tell myself if He's been able to forgive me (and I had done worse to him), I sure can forgive my foes.
     Another instance, in the buying of a first house a specific criteria was an upper room that would be dedicated to prayer and/or spiritual retreat. This permanent consciousness of God constantly guides my path and the choices I make.
     Last but not least, sex!! Good Christians also have good sex. This is such a fascinating experience of all earthly beings that even the "sons of God"* wanted to partake in it. The French Current versions refers to those "sons of God" as  "the inhabitants of heavens." There is nothing more depressing or stressing than being married and not having sex. So, here it's how it goes. If you're married and love the Lord Jesus, you must have good sex. That's all.


Tresorly Yours,
Tresor de Beaute

*[Genesis6: 2,4]

It's Just Sex,...Everybody does that -- Rationalizing Our Sexual Behaviors

     I'm a grown [wo]man. I don't need permission... It's my body. It's not like I'm hurting anybody... I'm already getting old, I need to get pregnant before it's too late... We're getting married... Who needs a piece of paper to prove anything, it's all about the heart... It's not like I'm sleeping around... Everybody does that...
These are some of the excuses we often hear and use in order to engage in sexual encounters.
     Then, after we're done with the encounters, as Christians, we cover it all with "the blood of Christ", saying to ourselves and anybody who wants to hear us "After all, aren't we all saved by grace?..." "But where sin increased, grace increased all the more"* conveniently forgetting what follows next: "Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?" **. To make matters even worse, we top it with a "God looks at the heart. He knows my heart is in the right place...
     Whatever excuses we use to justify our behaviors whether is to have sex, having an affair or engage in very questionable demeanors, they don't fly with God. He himself has magnified his Word above his Name***. Which means that He holds Himself and everybody else to his Standards, to his Word. What He says, stays. He won't modify to satisfy our preferences and/or fairy tales.
In the same train of thoughts, His word also declares that "if we sin willfully after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a certain fearful expectation of judgment"****
     Let me break this down. If you do something evil and you know in your heart it's evil and/or it's not right, and/or your conscience repeatedly questions you...[Let me make a point here, to know that something is evil, you have to know what is good, to know that something is NOT right, you have to know what is right] and above all you claim to know Jesus Christ meaning you've received the knowledge of the truth as he said "I am the way, the TRUTH and the life..." but yet choose to do the evil thing, there won't be anymore grace to cover your "arse", just patiently wait for God's judgement. It may not come right away, but it will surely come.
     We no longer hear on our pulpits nowadays and I sure do wish we'll be judged by all the good stuffs that come from them, unfortunately it won't be the case. Besides during judgment day, our biggest regrets will not be over sins we had committed rather over all missed opportunities we had to rely on Him and chose not to.
     So what should we say? Are we screwed? No more love, no more grace? Of course not! He is LOVE!! However, the perfection of his love can only be manifested by the glory of his righteousness. We can't accept God's love and reject his righteousness. We can't choose one over the other.
     What should we do? Continuing the same behaviors? Keep using the same excuses? [after all it feels so good to gratify our flesh!] BY NO MEANS!! We must still repent and plead with God for deliverance for despite everything, He still remains in the business of total restoration full time.

This is enough food for thoughts. Stay tuned for part II.

Tresorly Yours,
Tresor De Beaute


* [Rom 5:20]
**[Rom6:1-2]
***[Ps138:2]
**** [Heb10:26-27]

God, Your [Wo]Man and Your Relationship (Part II)

3- A bad posture is you about to get marry but something is telling you "Don't do it!" or you're just not sure. Usually, in this scenario the person you're involved with may meet all your criteria, but for one reason or another, you're either not at peace with the decision to marry him/her or you're just encountering many obstacles. Friends, frenemies and enemies opposing your choice, Family members combating your partner, parents not totally on board with your decision. If you're in such a situation, it means you have 45000 French men fighting against you. And 45,000 French men can't be wrong. You might want to stop, retreat into a quiet time in a quiet place with The Lord and reconsider.
     I recently read a book by Perry Stone in which he shared a story about him being engaged to a fellow Christian female but every time people would see them together, they'd always make a comment in the sense that they (Perry and his fiancee) did not belong together. She wasn't a "bad" person as humanely defined, neither was he. But there was just this thing that wasn't clicking. They ended up breaking up the engagement and today Perry is wonderfully and happily married to his current wife Pam. Now, not all stories are drama free like Perry's. Many of us have received warnings against one or another individual that we were considering for our long time noce. But we usually presented a deaf ear and later reaped the consequences. I know of at least three different stories of people finding themselves in this predicament with disastrous endings. In one of those stories, the guy's family members were all against him marrying his fiancée who was from a different tribe. A little bit of background, both protagonists were saved and distinguished Christians in their communities. And although the girl's in-laws did not approve of her, they never interfere in her marriage. However, a strange thing happened. She cheated on her husband numerous times and over a long period of time, got pregnant from someone else, passed the child as her husband's, later the duplicity was discovered and she finally divorced him.
Again not all stories are as that tragic but they all leave emotional scars or sometimes incurable sentimental diseases because of one wrong choice we have made. There are many things we would NEVER had done, if we knew in advance the cost we would have incurred.

4- A bad posture is you fighting temptation. For this predicament, there's no other alternative than to flee even if you have to flee with half your clothes on. If you're a very proud person like me, think about this:
"You are slave to the one you obey"* . If you obey your flesh which leads you to sin, you're slave to sin. And if you don't like the idea, let alone the act, then walk away! Period.

*[Rom6:16] - NIV

Tresorly Yours
Tresor De Beaute

God, Your [Wo]Man and Your Relationship (Part I)

     A decade and half ago, I decided to get serious with God. I recognized that His standards weren't mine, I recognized that, were He to judge me according to His law, I wouldn't pass the test. So I asked Him through Christ Jesus to forgive me of my sins and give me another chance. Since then, I've been around the Christian block long enough to hear and see relationship disasters spread among my fellows Christians. Today my post will address those of us who are in a bad posture. What's a bad posture?
1- A bad posture is you in a relationship with a non-believer.
2- A bad posture is you already married to a non-believer.
3- A bad posture is you about to get marry but something is telling you "Don't do it!" or you're just not sure.
4- A bad posture is you fighting temptation.
     I'm not going to be the one to tell you to cut off your relationship with a non believer although that's what you should do. However, I understand that if you've already developed feelings for the guy/gal it becomes a very intricate situation. That said, if on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the strongest, your feelings are between 0-4, you can still be rescued. Confess and ask your Father in heaven to forgive you for stepping into the bad side, then cut off the relationship period.
     If your feelings are between [5-7], oh boy, you're screwed...almost. At this stage, you've already convinced yourself the gal/guy is the one for you. Nobody can't tell you otherwise, even a speaking donkey will not do it unless God himself steps off his throne to pay you a visit in your room, in the middle of the night, surrounded by a white bright light. Other than that, the only thing that will save you is one of the following:
- The guy/gal breaks up with you.
- You develop Alzheimer and you forget that you're in a bad relationship and eventually the guy/gal breaks up with you.
- You're accused of murder/theft/treachery..[add to the list] and the guy/gal realizes there's no more any future with you, and s/he breaks up with you.
- You die.
Your capacity to make the right decision will depend of the depth of your love for God and your willingness to obey Him. Other than that, you're screwed!
     If your feelings are between [8-10], the deal is closed. You're married and there's no going back. If you acknowledge that you're in the wrong for marrying the bad person, then there's still hope for you. All you have to do is to repent and ask for forgiveness to God or anybody else you may have hurt. If you're sincere, God will intervene in your favor. Will he punish you? Yes, he punished David the man after his own heart after he killed Uriah to marry his wife. The child that was born out of his union with Bathsheba died. But God restored him and gave him another child who he baptized "Jedidiah" meaning "greatly loved by God"* and who later became the greatest, most prosperous king the earth ever known**.

     So yes, God is good, God is forgiving, God is loving. However all of His goodness, forgiveness and lovingness is meaningless if you don't receive it along with His righteousness. The greatest and most important decision a man or woman will ever make in their life is the one to follow Him. The next greatest decision is the choice of a mate. Therefore, be wise and don't repeat the mistakes that some of us made, don't waste your time, don't waste your life. Better to be alone than to be in bad company. Warnings and grace always precede judgment [Perry Stone]. Receive this as a warning or extended grace [depending on your predicament] and save your life some headaches. As a man I greatly respect once said, when the devil can't set you up with flagrant sins [adultery, fornication, drugs,...etc.], he'll either distract you with stuffs you're not supposed to do or [when he's really scare of you] he'll make sure to send the wrong person in your life. Whatever the case, God in his Great love always forewarns us, and a man forewarned is a man forearmed. I'll stop here for now and will touch the two last points on the next post.


*  [2Sam12:24-25]
**[I King10:23-27]

Tresorly yours
Tresor De Beaute

Why Would A Christian Believer Knowingly Marry A Non-Believer?

     It's been 10 and half years that I've set my foot in this country. I was young [still am], ambitious [still am] and in love [no more] with a fella that had an unquenchable love for God. I couldn't dream of anyone better for me. But the relationship ran its course and we parted our ways as it often happens with LDR.
     My criteria for a serious contender stayed the same: Serious Christian, hard worker with an intellectual appetite on various issues, not just biblical, not just academia not just politic but a mixture of all the above and some more. Soon, I found out that I had to compromise on some of those criteria. Life in America proved not to be life in Africa. Two years later, after turning down a serious prospect because I wasn't ready for marriage at that very moment then, I was back on the market with my eyes open. I saw and conversed with all kinds of Christians.
     I remember Daniel (of course that's a fake name to protect his identity), tall, handsome, well groomed and White. We met within the walls of our church and never outside of them. The first turn off came when at every conversation he'd veer it towards sex. I would wonder, he can't even say let alone spell my last name and he's already talking about what?? The 2nd turn off equally gruesome as the first, was him telling me that his parents, who are pastors, would not approve of him being with dark skin woman. Did I mention that they were pastors? This is only instance among three where I had been the direct protagonist, which leads to my points below:
- The lack of serious Christian prospects: this point goes beyond not being able to catch the right cat. It often involves a brother/sister who is "engaged" to at least two sisters/brothers at the same time. He's interested in you but doesn't clearly reveal his intentions nor tells you that he has his eyes somewhere else on someone else. Many sisters/brothers have been victims of this kind of "Chrismance" (Christian romance).
- Disappointment with Christians: After one, two or three encounters with the above, disappointment and bitterness towards the brotherhood or sisterhood of the traveling Christian love sets territory in your heart. And it becomes an excuse to date outside the landmarks.
- Immigration papers: Now this is a touchy subject for many immigrants in this country. If it was legal and not seen as a crime to kill to get papers, many will be accused of murder today. Many come close to it though. I've heard stories of immigrants who came here already married under the laws of their originating countries, nevertheless married a citizen, stayed married for the amount of time needed for them to also have their citizenship or their green card the least, then divorced their citizen husband/wife, to finally [re]marry the person they truly love.
- Ignorance: Today in our churches, with the main emphasis carried on money, give give and give, many Christians are just ignorant of what their God requires from them when it comes to their marital life. Hence they follow their heart, make the best possible decision with the best available information. That's one form of ignorance. The other form is the well informed Christian who deliberately chooses to ignore their beliefs and/or go against what the Bible teaches on the subject, rationalizing their bad decisions.
     After an altercation with any of these "obstacles", no wonder many of us Christians Hard core believers found ourselves, to our own demise, unequally yoked. Whether you've reasoned your way into such a covenant or you were just ignorant and now you are wondering if you're screwed or living outside the will of God, depending of your heart disposition, the answer could be gloom or doom. And this will be the focus of the next post. For now, remember this: **"If anyone sins and does what is forbidden in any of the LORD’s commands, even though they do not know it, they are guilty and will be held responsible."

Let He who has ears hears or should I say let he who has eyes read

Tresorly Yours,
Tresor de Beaute

**Lev5:17 [NIV]

Can The Difference of Religion Crash Your Relationship?

     Many practicing religious people have understood that a critical step towards a successful relationship is to have a partner with the same religious beliefs. That's why many practicing Muslims will not marry someone who is not a Muslim unless they convert to Islam, idem for Jews, Buddhist or Hindus but not so much for Christians.
     Hence, we've seen the birth of many "unequally yoked" marriages with the big majority going up in flames.
Disclosure: This post is not going to be some theological discourse with the goal to convince you not to date this non-believer or that spiritual but non-church going person. I'll just take a few minutes of your time to make some empirical statements.
      It had been an on and off relationship over a span of 3 years. We both knew where each of us stood on the religious domain. I was [still am] a hand clapping, tongue speaking, church going believer and him a non-practicing, catholic raised, non-church going unbeliever. Typical Sunday mornings schedule were spent with me driving off to church and him having a "service" with Tim Russert [R.I.P] or entertaining himself with The Sopranos on Netflix.
     Religion or God would barely make our conversation list, not because we were afraid to discuss it rather we had a silent, polite understanding "You don't mess with my God" and I won't mess with you non-church going "arse" and we never stepped on each toes, that was the agreement period.
     As long as the agreement was respected the peace-o-meter would measure the peace within the relationship to a 6 or 7 on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest satisfactory level. The disrupting peace factors could range from banal subjects like complaining about his missing scarf to non-hackneyed subjects like me accusing him [rightfully so] not to keep his word, with all these shenanigans, NEVER had religion carried the winning cup for disturbing the peace. However reality displayed a whole different scenario: although quarrels were medium rare, each of them consistently would leave the pernicious taste of rotten food. And what do you do with rotten food? You throw it in the garbage and that's where the relationship finally ended.
     After each altercation, I would always wonder about the root cause of the heinous words. It took a couple of years during a conversation with a man of God, for me to understand that, it's the difference in the essence of the Spirit that animates the believer and the non-believer that can create violent clashes. It is the spirit inside the non-believer, at times unbeknownst to the latter, hating anything that comes from the Light of Jesus, that will stir disputes and animosity. That's often why small missteps, unnoticeable peccadilloes could easily turn into unstoppable, unsurmountable, rains of repellent and venomous exchanges [between you the believer and your non-believing partner], dangerously flirting with the point of no return. And 9 out 10 those "mixed" relationships reached that point.
     So I guess the question is: Should a [serious] convinced and converted Christian-believer marry a non-Christian? Paul urges us to get married to avoid sexual immorality but it must be with a brother/sister who belongs to the Lord*. If you're already married to a non-believer, as long as the non-believer is willing to live with you, you must remain married to him or her period. Nevertheless, having a [serious] convinced and converted Christian-believer like yourself as a spouse, annihilates 50% of the battles, struggles and roadblocks you'll encounter in your relationship. Marriage, like sex is a divine concept that to succeed, must be honored by following the divine precepts ordained from God Almighty through Christ Jesus.
     This is no new teaching nor heresy but not everybody can accept or believe it. Some do accept but make different choices. Thus prompting the question What would induce a non-Christian to marry a Christian? That will be the highlight of the next post. For now, let's remember this: "People don't do what they believe in, they just do what's most convenient and then they repent" [Bob Dylan]

He who has an ear, let him hear or should I say He who has eyes, let him read?

*[1Cor7:39~NIV]

Tresor De Beaute

Got Hurt? Don't Rebound (Part II)

     The ultimate goal of the Non-Rebounding-period is to get ready for a successful relationship
.
SUCCESSFUL relationship,SUCCESSFUL relationship, SUCCESSFUL relationship.

Therefore it is very important to manage this period with a lot of care and precaution.
After all the crying, the cussing and the wondering are done, you'll get into, irrespective of your will, a reassessing state of mind where you'll be constantly playing back the film of the inglorious bastard or "bastardista" who has dared to hurt you. Although you'll be tempted to rerun different scenarios in your head, try not to and instead focus on determining the root cause of the crash. Why has s/he cheated? What led him/her to that? Bad financial habits? Inappropriate phone calls? Inappropriate requests? Flawed foundation in the relationship? (I will expand on this topic in a different post), for now remember this: "An inappropriate request reveals an inappropriate person" (Dr. Mike Murdock). Get to the root cause of the damages, do NOT excuse any of his/her behavior.
     Then answer this question honestly: what part did you play in the fall out of your relationship? Did you close an eye on "little" things that were going on? Did you bury your head in the sand and thought it would go away? Did you cheat either in this or a past relationship and now karma has caught up with you? As a christian did you infringe any covenant law? In other words, have you had sex before marriage or maybe you you thought it was ok since you were planning on getting married? It is capital that you answer those question with a sincere heart and write down your answer if you can.

     Finally, review them with your board of trustees, the people who keep you accountable and who will not hesitate to reprimand you [in love] when you're [in the] wrong. In reviewing with them, confess, repent and ask for forgiveness to God first then to whom appropriate starting with yourself. Forgive yourself for being stupid enough to trust him/her, forgive yourself for making bad choices because of him/her, forgive yourself for setting yourself up for failure. Forgive, forgive and forgive.

     I remember when I went through my "1929 GREAT emotional crisis". My trustees were there for me, telling me I had to let go and forgive, praying for and with me. I didn't want to hear anything about forgiveness, although I knew it was the sine qua non condition for total and complete restoration. But then, God in his almighty love started to move within me, reminding of my peccadilloes that were disqualifying me of his mercy, reminding of how much in LOVE He was still with me and that He has not given up on me.  I felt so convicted that I knew I had no choice than to truly, really, verily forgive myself for not trusting God with my choices, then my offenders. It took a long time, but I eventually got there. I can't describe the feeling of relief I had. One has to go through and experience it to understand.

Got Hurt? Don't Rebound (Part I)

     Got hurt? Don't rebound. Consider the following before you decide otherwise.
- You're wrapping yourself in a bubble: the bubble keeps you from facing the naked situation: the hurt, the pain, the rejection and the disappointment. Regardless of the cause of the separation from the already dead or dying relationship, it's important to take a step back to consider the damages, damages to your person and to the kids (if there are any involved). Mourn and cry all the tears that your lachrymal gland can afford. If you're the tough kind and would rather talk, then call your board of trustees, lament, rant and whine all you can. This is the period of your life when you're allowed to express your anger, your disillusionment and your failure. Even after that is done, you're still not ready to see someone, you're not ready to date nor to move on. If you do, then
- you're not different from the spider that ensnares its prey, sucks the blood out of it and leaves the carcass hanging. You could be meeting Mr. Right but it won't just be Mr. Right-Now. And what would start as an idyllic connection will undoubtedly expire with an acrid after taste. I remember Clementine who, after the most calamitous heartbreak, rekindled an old flame. It went from steam to hot, then hot to cold in a span of six months. Love yous and miss yous did not wait long to be replaced with yelling and fighting and suspecting. It went from flame to damn. Today, they're not even speaking terms.
- The bubble will eventually burst leaving you in a worse state than the beginning. At this stage, the repressed feelings of affliction and emotional damage, buried under the anticipation of a deeper, not-similar-to-the-last romance resurface. You have no chance to escape, you must confront them and kick'em away or as most of us do, bottle them up and throw the bottle in the river with the hope it'll reach shore at NotInmyHeartTown. That been said, how do you practically do? Stay Tuned for part II


Tresor De Beaute

Recognize The Season In Your Life

It's important to identify the seasons in our lives. As the Wise said,

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
 2 a time to be born and a time to die,

   a time to plant and a time to uproot,

 3 a time to kill and a time to heal,

   a time to tear down and a time to build,

 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,

   a time to mourn and a time to dance,

 5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

   a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

 6 a time to search and a time to give up,

   a time to keep and a time to throw away,

 7 a time to tear and a time to mend,

   a time to be silent and a time to speak,

 8 a time to love and a time to hate,

   a time for war and a time for peace.

     Have you noticed the last verse?  "a time to love and a time to hate", It is assumed that a Christian must love everybody friends, frenemies and enemies included. But what about the hate part of it? Does that mean that a Christian can be hateful? And look at this one "a time to kill and a time to heal", wow!! Can a Christian kill or be killed by another one? Literally or metaphorically? I think so but this debate will be for another time.

     Today I'd like to use this opportunity to address my fellow Christ Lovers on celebrating the good things in our lives. It is said that one recognizes his/her friends during hard times but I must add, one recognizes his/her frenemies during good times. A friend will be beside you at all times, good and bad. A frenemy will pretend but can only pretend for so long.
This season, I'm celebrating:
- my family: The one I came from, the one I got into and the one I formed
- my territory: plainly earthly possessions that I know I'll leave behind once the Lord decides to come back or take me to him.
- my job: This simple statement from a fellow worker really got me "you know, it took me 20 years to get where you are now." For the record, I just hit year 5 in my career.
- investments: According to the scripture, banks are the last place money should stay especially if one expects any return. I'm just grateful that God has opened a door for a better and greater harvest.
- my upcoming big O entrance into my 3rd decade. This shall be a decade like any other I've ever lived. Lots of growth to anticipate, family growth, ministry growth and investments growth.
- Last but not least: Victory over unforgiveness and shadenfreude. God knows how I've struggled with these. Can someone sing with me "I am delivered, Thank You Lord... My God has saved me, Thank you Lord..."

     For my fellow African brothers and sisters, to declare out loud the blessings of the Lord is a concept hard to assimilate given that most of us were brought up in suspicion of one another. This culture of mistrust is so ingrained in our core that even when you greet someone with a "How are you?" you'll undoubtedly get back one of the following " ha I'm there" [with a shrug] aka nothing much or "we push and we put the wedge" (and this even if the person has just won the lottery).

     How would one know that the Lord has done great things in our lives if we can't even acknowledge it? How will we develop a thankful heart when we can't give a shout to the author of all Goodness?

This is a season of celebration for me, I shall not pass it up and I'm inviting you to do the same.

Little Victories Celebrated: What's your Hannah Story?

     I got an A in my advance financial class!!(Graduate Level). A three page information sheet, from which 6 precious data had to be extracted just for assignment number 1. Task tackled in a span of 3 and half hours.
Anyone who has taken graduate level courses can testify that they're not hard but just time consuming, very time consuming.
     So that's exactly what they were doing to me, taking my time away, my quality time, my me time, my family time and sometimes my God time, so I complained to my Father, the One whose footstool is the earth and the throne the heaven. I told Him "I love spending time with you but I don't have enough of it, my classes are taking it away. I promise to spend 10 min quality time during the day [that's in addition to our morning devotional], if you allow me to spend less time studying, understanding my lessons and completing my projects." The idea was to be able to do everything I'm supposed to do without sacrificing on anything.
    And it all came from an important teaching that I've decided to put into practice: to put God first in everything I do or as the bible says "Seek Ye first the kingdom of God...". Before I was never sure what it truly meant to put God first. Was it to go to church first? Was it to apply all the 10 commandments first? Was it to make sure all the poor are fed first? My confusion was dissipated after one conversation. I had the privilege to sit down with a prominent Man of God and here's a paraphrase of what he said: Hannah was barren and pleaded with God for many years but it's only until she said to God "LORD Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the LORD for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head." In that statement, God had found his interest, so to speak and granted Hannah her request. The man of God went on saying, everytime we make a request in prayer with faith, always ask yourself "What's in it for God?" And I'm adding, when you can honestly answer that question, not one of your prayers will ever go unanswered.
    I asked God for more time to spend with him if I could spend less time studying and completing my projects, I got an A and my quality time was upgraded. That's my Hannah story and I'm sticking to it, what's yours?

To Celebrate or Not To Celebrate?

     As this year will mark a milestone in my life, I was wondering if I should celebrate it or not. Although God does not move according to our age but according to the season in our lives, It just happened that this year is coinciding with a new season in my life and it calls for celebration. Tresor De Beaute is reaching her "time for ministry" by TURNING 30. Now this celebration will just be one too many for me. However, after running this idea by one of my biggest fans, I was convinced to definitely throw myself a party. Besides, as Dr Mike Murdock says "Schedule your pleasure because pain will schedule itself", which is nothing but a modern contemporary version of "However many years anyone may live, let them enjoy them all. But let them remember the days of darkness, for there will be many", my favorite biblical passage for celebration. Pain will definitely schedule itself at your expense, and it will often come from the most unlikely source. So this is a season of joy, dance and laughter, a season of happiness and I will rejoice in it.

     My ideal party would be to invite the not-have, people who can't invite me back nevertheless people with a heart of celebration and thanksgiving towards the Creator. I don't know if I can pull this off this year, maybe it'll be for another season. So for now, I'll probably invite over my new neighbors, form some new connections and for that I need ideas and I'm calling on you. What kind of party should I throw? I'm looking for ideas, original good-moral, godly ideas. Please leave your comments here or if you're a Facebook friends, inbox me.

Tresorly yours,
Tresor De Beaute