Monday, February 4, 2008

Whose fault is it anyway?

I remember when I was a child, in my uncle living room, there was this citation "every man was born good but society has made him wicked." Reading that, I would think it makes sense justifying it with examples such as: a man (or a woman) gets his/her accent from the environment they grow up, they like or dislike certain things depending on what they've been exposed to. However if society renders one wicked, at what point is it the person responsibility to deal with the consequences of their own choices? At what point would the person stop blaming their surrounding, their family heritage and courageously face their action and say: "Sh**!! I've done wrong, and I need to take corrective action to remedy the situation?" I have a 15 yr old son that I'll call J., he's a very bright child, yet lazy. His dad has told me countless of time that J has a hard time digesting failures. If J has a bad grade, then it's the teacher's fault for not explaining the subject adequately; If J doesn't perform well in sports, then it's the referee's fault for putting him on the bench. Well it's understandable that a 15 yr old would try to justify his misdeeds, but should the same understanding apply to educated, well rounded adults? Can an adult excuse his/her behavior by explaining it away with: "My dad was like that, therefore I must be like him" or "when I look at my brothers, none of them got successful with the diplomas that they got in school". The former was once given to me by s.o who was trying to explain his irrational misdemeanor and the latter by a s.o (titular of a high school diploma and some college) who was trying to justify the failures in their life despite the many good opportunities surrounding them. As for myself, I believe there are things that one can control and other beyond one's control. And my philosophy has always been, control the things you can and leave it up to God to take care of the rest. In other words, if s.o has tried unsuccessfully to eliminate you, then you should take proactive steps to protect yourself. If you're the perpetrator, then act like an adult, apply the IBM rule aka I Blame Myself, right the wrong instead of blaming it on your genealogy or some third party.

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